Re: Hearts and Flowers and Whatnot

1

Is now a bad time to mention that I broke up with my first serious gf on Valentine's Day?


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 11:50 AM
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2

The lawyer has a Valentine's Day surcharge? Unless he has to complete the work on a shorter deadline, how does that make sense?


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 11:51 AM
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3

Did you film it?


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 11:51 AM
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4

And, if that weren't bad enough, he said the new trend he's seeing is clients paying someone to film their spouse getting served.

I think the reaction to this depends upon whether you're a glass half-full or glass half-empty person. Think of the YouTube clips soon to be arriving.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 11:52 AM
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5

What's the kind thing to do if you want to break up around Valentine's Day? Accelerate it, so as to break up before? Delay it, so the partner can enjoy Valentines Day? Or let the chips fall where they may?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 11:52 AM
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Break up with him or her at around 5:30 pm on Valentine's Day. There will be no route open save that to the nearest bar, will your rejected lover will soon be flush aglow with receptivity towards a new companion.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 11:54 AM
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7

5 - Text message your mother saying you don't know whether to break up with your girlfriend before or after Valentine's Day and accidentally send it to your girlfriend instead.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 11:57 AM
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8

Delay it, so the partner can enjoy Valentines Day?

I delayed it, but you're going to feel like a jerk either way. And, if you're the sort who would delay it, it will become painfully obvious that the calendar is chock full of meaningful days, either personal or public.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 11:57 AM
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9

I delayed it

This may be the most personal information SCMT has ever shared.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 11:58 AM
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10

Is it a bad sign that my wife sent me this yesterday?


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 11:59 AM
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11

9: I meant "if I delayed it"! "IF"!


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 12:00 PM
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12

Does the delaying/not delaying have to do a little with how much importance your s.o. places on Valentine's?

I am a not-delay kind of person in general, but in non-romantic contexts I have worked very hard not to give my best friend bad news on her birthday. Her birthday is hugely important to her and whatever it is would have much worse impact. Whereas if I got bad news on my birthday -- eh. I'd rather know bad stuff sooner than later; why bother waiting just because it's my birthday?


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 12:01 PM
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With the first girl I ever kissed (and could have done a lot more, had I been less stupid), I actually went as far as having my mom drive me to get her a box of Valentines chocolates, then decided, "Eh."

I ate the chocolate.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 12:01 PM
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14

People have sent me links to three Flight of the Conchords songs, and they all seem to be variations on this.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 12:03 PM
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15

For me, we were in college. My weekends were filled with meets. I didn't want to do it over the phone.

It was on a Friday and on the first weekend that we had been able to see each other in three weeks.

I couldnt pretend it was ok until the day after Valentine's day.

We are still very good friends however.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 12:04 PM
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16

The lawyer has a Valentine's Day surcharge? Unless he has to complete the work on a shorter deadline, how does that make sense?

Supply and demand, yo.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 12:09 PM
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17

This seems the appropriate thread to note that, this morning, one of my favorite baristas informed me that Saint Valentine used to bathe in people's blood or somesuch, a claim for which brief googling is turning up no confirmation.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 12:13 PM
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18

17:

Time to change your coffee house.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 12:14 PM
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19

17: Your favorite barista shouldn't believe everything Warren Ellis tells him: Horny Werewolf Day.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 12:15 PM
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20

I accelerated it, w/r/t birthday, not Valentine's Day; I would recommend delaying it. That option wasn't open to me, though, since I was acting like a total jerk then and the only thing to do was to break up (the day before her big business trip and a few weeks before her birthday).


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 12:19 PM
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21

A "barista" can be male?


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 12:22 PM
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22

Guess so. Sorry about the pointless comment.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 12:25 PM
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23

A "barista" can be male?

The male form is bariston.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 12:39 PM
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24

Well, Rebecca Traister finally has a boyfriend. And he cooks!

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2008/02/14/valentines_day/


Posted by: PerfectlyGoddamnDelightful | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 12:42 PM
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25

OT bleg

A friend's daughter is doing one of those goofy e-mail forwarding things for some kind of science fair project. If anyone of you would be willing to receive it and then annoy 10 of your friends with it, please let me know here or at sirkraab dot gmail

Thanks mucho mas.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 12:45 PM
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26

23: Not "barister"?


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 12:52 PM
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27

25: What sort of email-forwarding thing? Is it some crazy cool social connectivity deal like this Columbia experiment?


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 12:54 PM
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28

27: That seems pretty groovy. I've always liked the 6 degrees of separation idea, though as that link points out, it makes some big assumptions. I love this Malcolm Gladwell article about it. (I wouldn't be surprised if there was some level of bogusness to it -- seems to happen a lot with his stuff -- but very interesting thought experiment.)

Anyway, this is not that. It's a list of names. If your name is on the list, you put an asterisk. If not, you add your name. I expect the result is that everyone has the same name or no one does or whatever.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 1:02 PM
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29

My sister served her then-husband with papers two days before Christmas then made him promise not to tell the kids until after. I think she mainly wanted to make sure he had a really terrible Christmas, which he completely deserved.

Rah and I are going to a sneak preview of the new Romero zombie movie and then out to dinner after. I ♥ my boyfriend.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 1:07 PM
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30

It seems like a lot of the articles leading up to Valentine's Day this year have been of the depressing "nobody can make it work" variety.

My message is being heard.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 1:18 PM
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31

29: We love Rah too, McManly.

You're another story though.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 1:20 PM
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32

23: the male form is "baristos". "Bariston" is neuter.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 1:21 PM
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33

Armsmasher should totally get a job as a bariston.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 1:24 PM
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34

Funnily enough, he actually already has one.


Posted by: m. leblanc | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 1:28 PM
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35

Does he have a name tag making the appropriate rhyme?


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 1:29 PM
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36

That I can't say.


Posted by: m. leblanc | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 1:30 PM
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37

Does anybody ever end up happier by really sticking it to the bitch/bastard in the breakup?


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 1:31 PM
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38

37:

Yes.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 1:32 PM
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39

You're another story though.

We're all grown-ups here, M/tch. It's OK to say that you love Rah but you wuv me.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 1:32 PM
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40

37: Yes.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 1:33 PM
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41

Damn it, will.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 1:33 PM
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42

Damn it, will.

I wasnt sure if you could speak yet.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 1:34 PM
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43

yeah, with a horrible, snot-filled nasal twang, but yeah, the voice is back.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 1:37 PM
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44

39: You misspelled "wwwwuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuvvvv!!!!!!1!!11!!"


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 1:40 PM
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45

A co-worker told me yesterday that her father had hanged himself on a Valentine's Day. Happens a lot, apparently.


Posted by: Michael Vanderwheel, B.A. | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 2:01 PM
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46

45: How many times does he have to hang himself before he gets it right?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 2:09 PM
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47

Was dumped a year ago today; I seem to remember whining about it here in realtime. But it all got sorted out, and everything is lovely now. The upside is that there's no longer any pressure to do anything special for Valentine's Day--the bar's not even above the ground.


Posted by: x. trapnel | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 3:00 PM
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48

the bar's not even above the ground

I love basement bars.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 3:13 PM
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49

"if writers have just run out of the happy ones or if mean ones make better copy"

pwned by Tolstoy.


Posted by: Doug | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 3:32 PM
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50

Valentine's Day to me is a non-holiday.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 4:13 PM
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51

and gun shots, how sad


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 02-14-08 5:14 PM
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52

This seems the appropriate place for this moment of gloating. When a mommy and a daddy no longer live with each other and both buy their child *the exact same* cuddly stuffed toy for Valentine's Day, the parent who enjoys residential custody and therefore presents the gift first thing in the morning gets to enjoy the surprise, elation, and excited hug of "This is the best gift ever!" The Ugly Naked parent gets the slightly less thrilling, "Hey, that's exactly the same thing Mama got me!"

I am taking far more pleasure in this than a good person ought.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 9:23 AM
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53

Score. Total schadenfreude, and you didn't have to do a thing wrong for it.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02-15-08 9:25 AM
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54

Maybe I just have far too much empathy, but shitting on someone on a romantic holiday by serving them divorce papers seems unnecessarily harsh. I mean, that ruins it possibly for life. Then again, I have never been in love with someone who didn't deserve it, even if they didn't always return the favor.

It's real simple. Loving other people is easy, even with their faults. You don't love, you can't play--or at least not to win. People who fake relationships are like people who fake orgasms: They get exactly what they deserve. Fake orgasms.

Getting a good match where it works out for both parties seems to be improbable, but it is possible--and I am happy to say I am living proof of it, even with 23-ish miserable Valentine's Days between the age of 5 and 40. (There were a few good ones, but none better since LizardBreath.)

It is still better to be alone than to be with someone you are not just damned impressed with in a perfectly rational, mental, physical, sexual, and emotional way. But boy, let me tell you, if you can get your hands wrapped around that, don't ever do anything to fuck it up!


Posted by: Buck | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 5:04 PM
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55

52: great minds think alike.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 5:07 PM
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56

55: Heh. When he brought her home and she told me about the duplication, that was precisely the line I used. Because I'm a good person on the outside.

It's kind of cute, she had me tie little tags around each one's foot to be able to tell them apart.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 8:55 PM
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57

tie little tags around each one's foot to be able to tell them apart.

That's kind of morbid.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 9:00 PM
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58

I was thinking it sounded more biblical (Jacob and Esau, right?). Morgue hadn't crossed my mind -- until now.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02-16-08 9:03 PM
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