Amen. I've had three colds in the past seven weeks. It seems they mis-guessed the flu strain that would be going around, but everyone I know who's been sick hasn't had the flu.
Oh, and the answer to your question is, of course, the Chinese.
This thing that is going around, too. This dry cough, congested, no-fever horseshit? Fuck you, hacking cough thing! Fuck you straight to SARS.
Anthrax is seldom diagnosed before the fatal stage. Dry cough, etc.
Ogged is probably correct. Why do all these Chinamen keep sneezing in my mouth?
You know that you're supposed to kill the chicken before you get stapled to it.
I have completely lost my voice. I thought I paid my dues for the winter by spending 3 solid weeks of December bed-ridden with a 103 degree fever and bleeding sinuses. My mood was not aided by getting an email from Obama that started out,"I need you to make your voice heard today -- literally."
It's looking more and more like staying home alone at all times is the safer strategy.
Solidarity, Becks. One of the bands I play with canceled a CD-release show tonight, because the guitarist is down with the flu. He's been in the hospital twice this week with it. First time I can ever remember canceling a show.
10: if this is the prog band, you could definitely rock a Headhunters kind of thing.
9: And wear a helmet with a sneeze guard when you do go outside.
Better living through government regulation.
Wait you can have a helmet with a sneeze-gard? How does that work? Is it attached to a salad bar, or is there like an unprotected salad bar that you can clip your sneeze-gard on to?
I think I was sick for a while in January. But other than that, no problemo. Mr. B. and PK got sick this week, but as always, Mama soldiered on.
(Which sounds good, unless you realize that not being sick means "doing everything.")
I am both sick and doing everything. Where do I sign up for your deal, B?
13: I was thinking of something like this.
1: I've had three colds in the past seven weeks
You know that if you really wanted to stop having them you could.
You're sick and still doing things???
Wanna get married?
You're sick and still doing things???
Wanna get married?
Or join a band? Seriously. Dude should've have ROCKED through his flu.
I never get flu or colds but people tell me I'm more likely to get cancer. My mom's cancer wasn't bad at all, hopefully I'll get that one.
You know that if you really wanted to stop having them you could.
This is actually true, as 21 notes.
My mom's cancer wasn't bad at all, hopefully I'll get that one.
Why would you want used cancer?
I heard on the news that the scientists in charge of these things put entirely the wrong flu strains in their flu shots this year.
26: Too late! Embrace your inner dick, man.
I had a hideous multi-stage 17-day cold, but it was the only one. Thank God. I'm totally useless when sick.
My mom's cancer has a good track record. I'll stick with a winner.
27 is some seriously low hanging fruit.
Beloved grandnephew: Your peepee is big like Daddy's. Mine is little like Mommy's.
Indeed. I had a terrible cold a couple of weeks ago and a couple of days of something flu-like at the beginning of this week. That's a lot worse than average for one winter, let along one month. I'm kind of suspicious, since I've gotten flu-like diseases two out of the three years I've gotten flu shots, whereas I only had one in the ten years before that.
I had a hideous multi-stage 17-day cold, but it was the only one.
I read this as "17-day-old" at first.
Four feverish days of viral upper-respiratory type shit, a week of laryngitis (Ile, I feel your pain!), another 10 days of sinus infection. And actually, I'm still coughing a month later, but that part isn't worthy of complaint. Whatever went around this winter was obnoxious. You know what helped? Nothing. Except time. Nuts.
Yeah, WTF is with the lingering hack of a cough this year? No flu, just a bit of a cold, but had a TB like cough for a couple of weeks.
41: yes! You to! That thing is fucking weird.
Yeah, whenever I get some cold or flu or whatever, it's not the super-sick part I dread; it's the month of coughing up the same goddamn teaspoon of mucus ever 30 seconds for a month. And the whole time, I'm thinking, "Do I even remember what it was like to not cough up this teensy bit of mucus all day? I do not. I have always been coughing up this mucus."
You know what finally killed it, Becks? The brand-new super-steamy room at the Russian Baths. I walked out of there and haven't coughed since. Went back today just to get the last bit of it out and done with. Feel like a million bucks.
I'm back from ther ER myself! With vikodin!
Heebie's cat is insane. That video rules, and your friend is a huge pussy for flinching from a cat when there's a door protecting him.
Vicodin and antibiotics, I hope. The former for the cat, the latter for you.
That was an interesting video.
Also, the cheap trick for disinfecting puncture wounds is epsom salts. Learned it from a doctor when I was kid and had an infection in my foot from stepping on a nail.
Hot water with added epsom salts, and soak.
18: One of the things that I'm not doing while sick is getting divorced and then remarried. I really don't have the energy.
Heebie pls to get all high on vicodin and then (pick option A or B) comment all high / turn the computer over to the beast.
47: The trick for disinfecting puncture wounds acquired from stepping on nails is getting tetanus and dying. At least that's how we do it in my family. But we're weak folk, real hothouse flowers.
I loved the cat video and made Snark watch it too. Oh, crazy beast. I particularly like how he goes off to cuff the other cat periodically before stalking back to attack the door invader again.
Everyone sure has been sick so much this winter. I feel a little guilty that I haven't been (yet).
If Vicodin doesn't nauseate you, it should make for wonderfully blissful slumber.
I am all high on vicodin! It feels great and my hand feels way better too, and I bought epsom salts when I got my perscription filled. With lavender. La-la-la.
You got your prescription filled with lavender?
I do suppose that vicodin is working.
I disinfect puncture wounds with a second shot to the same place.
I, CYBORG KILLER.
So heebie what if you kept your cat wrapped in bubble wrap as a general rule?
55: We've tried this with our children. Not recommended on warm days. Otherwise, though, an excellent idea.
Well, he didn't like it when I tied helium balloons to him for my birthday. But I bet he'd love bubble wrap.
57: you could tie a bell to the entire rest of the universe, so he'd never be startled.
56: sweet jesus Ari you need an air hole. Do I have to tell you historians everything?
Is it a bad idea to have a beer? Im not driving anywhere. I think it's fine.
59. Thanks. I wondered why I was having trouble breathing.
61: you need to consult your dolphin friend more, my man. Squeaksalot'll keep you breathing if none of us man-apes can.
60: it's actually a great idea.
It IS a great idea. Jammies bought this weird blueberry beer, so yknow, antioxidants.
Since we're dispensing advice, should I eat the rest (I've already had half) of my wife's Violet Crumble? Or not? It's a bad idea, of course. But a delicious one. Thoughts?
63: yup.
64: yup.
Christ, I'm a fucking Oracle. I'm glad you guys are still around to receive my good advice, since Blume appears to have been rendered unconscious.
You probably should. Violets are good for you, and you've been looking a bit wan lately.
Beer and Violet Crumble for all! I myself am having bourbon and ginger cookies.
I am having hop-tard beer and (until quite recently, actually) acorn squash.
I enjoyed my half of the acorn squash very much, and to be honest, I enjoyed Blume's half, too.
67: I'm intrigued by this combination. Are you dipping?
Also: the candy was good. Vicodin would have been better.
Bourbon, ginger cookies, and Skoal? Ari you are a man of the west.
As long as you're being an oracle, Sifu: should I get a cat? (Heebie should weigh in too.)
I'm not going to ask you whether I should have some scotch, because I already know the answer to that question.
My keen powers of deduction tell me that Violet Crumble (otherwise mysterious) is candy. And that heebie is fuuuucked up by now, blueberry beer and vicodin making my stomach churn at the very thought.
Also you guys are completely nuts about soaking puncture wounds and cats liking bubble wrap.
Carry on!
I dated a guy who dipped. It was kind of gross.
Cats are the best! Get a cat.
This winter I have had a cold that proceeds like this:
Sunday I feel fine.
Monday I feel fine.
Tuesday I feel like I am starting to get a sore throat.
Wednesday I feel worse.
Thursday through Saturday I have a bad sore throat and bad congestion.
Repeat for four weeks.
No really, at the ER they told me you should soak puncture wounds in epsom salts. And do you all appreciate that I'm typing with one hand while the other soaks and is too tender to type with anyway?
Dipping was what the true assholes did in my high school. The experience of watching those morons spit into empty coke cans, their lower lips bulging, has left deep scars. And no, don't get a cat. Get a dog. They're more fun. Evidence? they don't mind balloons.
73: yes and yes!
I love my cats, they love me, everybody else in my life is allergic to them: it's a win, win, fuck them!
I would never dip a cat in Epsom salts unless it was for a really good reason.
77 is a public service announcement by The Cure.
75: I do not think the churning of your stomach is enfuckening heebie. I could be wrong, but I do not think so.
78: for god's sakes woman type with your boobs if you're feeling that poorly.
Dogs are a lot more work, they lick you, which is gross, they make slurpy noises, and your hand smells after you pet it.
79: my friends in [ ULTRA-UPSCALE-SUBURB ] used to dip, based on third- or fourth-hand reports of what the assholes did, just because it would make the local girls erupt into prissiness.
I make no excuses for them.
81: True, they are more work. Only those that lick lick. If you see what I'm saying. What kind of dog makes slurpy noises? Seriously, that is gross. But also not true. And your hands only smell if your dog is really dirty. Which leaves me wondering: do you know people who don't care for their dogs? And if so, is it because the dogs are licking, slurping stink-monsters? Because that's not the kind of dog I have. Or have ever had. Plus, dogs crap outside. Game, set, match.
Or maybe it's so grodilily over-defined that you can't handle it, hmmm?
And do you all appreciate that I'm typing with one hand while the other soaks and is too tender to type with anyway?
I'm impressed. It makes you sound like a delicate Victorian invalid. With high-speed internet access.
82: Shaker Heights? I ask because everything you describe is what I witnessed. Assholes.
And your hands only smell if your dog is really dirty.
This is really, really not true. A clean, well-trained dog is lovely, and many dogs are truly noble beasts, but unless you are giving your dog a daily shampoo, its fur carries the smell of dogness.
87: nah wrong state. Really, they were ironic about it. I mean, yeah, they were assholes, but the fun, rejected kind.
Cats, by contrast, smell delightful. My cats smell like fresh cedar, as per their litter.
My cat also smells wonderful, like a newborn's head. In fairness, I must note that I have also met cats who do not.
86: If only I had a wooden wheelchair, a blanket, and spindly legs, and a prescription for some weeks by the ocean for my Nerves.
Outdoor cats can get pretty rank. But mine are cute smelling.
92: have you ever thought about why?
89: Sorry, I was assuming that "your hand smells after you pet it" implied that "your hand smells" bad "after you pet it." But if we're talking about dogs smelling like dogs, which is to say smelling loyal, comforting, and wonderful, and then hands smelling like that after coming into contact with dogs, well that's another story entirely. I'll cede that point as well then.
FASTEST ONE HANDED TYPER IN THE WORLD who lives in my house.
Oh, indoor cats can too. My cat is currently an (indoor/)outdoor cat, and it only enhances the effect, like hanging your wash out on the line.
Yes. I have ridden in people's cars and said, Hey, your car smells like dog.
I can't figure out what dipping is.
But if we're talking about dogs smelling like dogs, which is to say smelling loyal, comforting, and wonderful
Uh huh.
Stereotype of bloggers surrounded by cats borne out by this thread.
Loyal, comforting and wonderful smells like buttbreath?
101: in fact I was tricked into getting my cats by my co-blogger, as part of what I now believe to be a sinister initiation ritual.
102: Given that you're obviously terrifically stoned, and also surrounded by what appeared to be, in that video at least, thousands of cats, at least one of which has clearly never had anything to eat but the contents of very old thermometers, and so therefore could be holding a sharp object to your throat as you type, I'll let you off the hook for your unkind statement. And also ask that you not knock my hobbies.
Type with just one hand, I should have said. Sorry. I didn't mean to diminish your prowess. Particularly given the danger you face.
You know what smells bad? Vitamins. I just opened the cabinet where ours live, and boy, yuck.
I'm knocking your hobbies like they were yesterday's pinata.
You know what smells bad? Vitamins.
For real. They smell like an unwholesome combination of fake citrus flavour and rancid yeast.
Yeah, and B complex vitamins give you awful breath. But lots of energy.
Think this glucosamine stuff is going to make all my precociously elderly aches and pains melt away?
107: Jesus, Heebie, what are you on? Must be something stronger than smelling salts.
As well as lifting weights would?
Are smelling salts strong? Truth be told, I feel only moderately loopy but I've got a rockin sense of all-is-right-with-the-world.
Yay. Sounds like Vicodin treats you the same as it does me.
I've got a rockin sense of all-is-right-with-the-world.
Yup, that's the Vicodin talking.
And, returning for a moment to cats and dogs: it seems to me that a good cat is a truly great thing. But good cats are hard to come by. They are born not made. Good dogs, by contrast, are relatively common. Because dogs, far more social creatures than cats, are reflections of their people. If you raise a dog right, it will, except in unfortunate cases, be a good dog. With a cat you're taking your chances.
I'm pretty bad at lifting weights. Also at going to the gym regularly. Maybe someday I'll get better at both.
Pwned on the Vicodin comment. But only because of my dogged determination to get to the bottom of the other issue.
and B complex vitamins give you awful breath
Huh. And here I thought I was the only one who was, like, burping midway through the morning and saying to myself, Oh right, there's the B vitamins.
True: there are great cats and awful cats. Get the friendliest kitten you can find and you'll be fine. And there are no unfriendly dogs, but we sure had a pair of supremely stupid dogs when I was growing up.
But good cats are hard to come by. They are born not made.
IME, lots of households have a dipstick who chucks around kttens like a rag doll, then is shocked, shocked when that kitten grows up to be a nutty animal who scratches people.
116: Yeah, I'm bad at lifting weights too. But when I've done it regularly, I've felt great. Grrrrr! Elastic! Healthy!
Everyone should lift weights. Unfortunately, lots of people mistyakenly think weightlifting is for bodybuilders and football players rather than a good habit for the masses.
Some dogs smell regardless of how often you wash them: IME, retrievers, e.g.
Both dogs and cats have many drawbacks. How about a nice fern?
Ari's picking a fight. Cats and dogs aren't much different in terms of their susceptibility to upbringing. I'd say cats are more able to rebound, which is why I like them. I haven't met many bad cats.
Ferns require all kinds of watering, Bave, are you kidding?
I want a sensitive-plant. (Video!)
I just saw Once. Verdict: it was pretty good.
Better than pretty good: ribeyes, bourbon, chocolate cake, salty caramel ice cream.
People own pets because they want to take small actions each day that allow them to feel needed by another living creature. By owning a pet, you create an artificial situation in which a small furry thing depends on you completely, and you congratulate yourself for your compassion in maintaining that creature's life and well-being and bask in the creature's apparent adoration -- to the extent that you are able to ignore your own role in creating the original situation of dependency.
A cactus would be a poor replacement for this type of emotional scenario. A fern or an orchid that requires daily misting fits the bill much better.
I owned two or three sensitive plants when I was a kid. Then I got a dog.
I had a Venus fly-trap one summer. I was working at a kids' educational camp and wanted a little friend. I loved my fly-trap, but while I was gone, one of the counselors, who was stuck in my office all day with a troublesome kid, overfed it (cruelly catching flies for it and force-feeding it!) and it died. Smelled terrible, of course, but it would have been cool to see it grow up to be big and healthy.
Resurrection plants are pretty good for the careless waterer.
People own pets because they want to take small actions each day that allow them to feel needed by another living creature their damn kids to shut up about getting a pet.
Let's get back to commiserating about this goddamn universal cold. Very frustrating. I know someone who was just diagnosed with whooping cough, which I had thought was a disease that lived only in 19th century novels. My cough is not whooping, but it is loud and frequent.
This winter feels like the first chapter of an thriller, the last few weeks of normalcy before it becomes clear as that 99.9% of humanity is going to die off from a mysterious superbug released from a secret government laboratory.
I like cats, but I find that even a really great cat is not as good a companion as a dog. Fundamentally, the cat doesn't care that you exist.
AWB had it right earlier: the Russian Baths have remarkable curative powers. If you're not lucky enough to have a similar establishment in your town, build a sweat lodge.
My solution for not ignoring plants is grow herbs that you really want to eat. Then you'll pay attention to them. In return, you get amazing pesto and sauces and ....
What's not to like?
I need to get back to growing herbs. I had some really nice chives, basil, and cilantro in my window for a while. I am trying to think of any savory food that wouldn't benefit from one of those three things, and I am at a loss. Now, my only plant is a frighteningly hardy bamboo that Tonks got for me four years ago.
What's not to like?
I don't know, maybe the fundamentally exploitative relationship?!
Indifference to suffering is the closest to happiness one can get in this life. Remember, if you are fond of a jug, think "I am fond of a jug"; for should it break you will not be troubled. If you kiss your own child or wife, think that you are kissing a human. For when it dies, you will not be troubled. We can learn a lot from the cats in our lives.
142: I earnestly hope this is how your dissertation reads, Ben.
Nobody writes like the Stoics any more. The wisdom tradition has been driven out of the philosophy departments and is ekeing out a miserable existence in the self-help section.
You should become one of those positive psychology guys, w-lfs-n. That is a movement that badly needs more pessimists. Then it would be less annoying.
The post is so true. I was out for nearly a week with some sort of flu, then as soon as I was over it I developed some sort of mostly benign but still irritating cold. Mostly just stuffy nose and sore throat, occasional sneezing. I got some Sudafed (via the ridiculous process of picking up a card and taking it to the pharmacy to sign your name so they can track you down if they think you're using it to make meth) and it's done wonders for it.
I can't figure out what dipping is.
Putting snuff between your lower lip and jaw.
Plus, dogs crap outside. Game, set, match.
Having had both dogs and cats (and liking both), dogs are way way way more work. And the fact that they don't crap in a box is a big part of that.
Also, I haven't been sick this winter aside from the got so exhausted from not sleeping I had to take a day off work variety, but both the little ones are all feverish and unhappy right now. So maybe it's coming.
Plus, dogs crap outside
So do cats, if you let them go outside. We haven't had a cat box in years. *And* the cat buries its own crap.
Basically, although I like dogs okay, the problem is that the best dogs are big dogs. And then when they want attention, you've got this very large (and, yeah, they do kinda smell) animal all up in your face.
Whereas when the cat gets all up in your face (cats don't care if you exist? You people are obviously not kind enough to your cats), it's kind of small, and its tongue is dry, and it generally smells either like dust (which is a pretty neutral smell) or maybe like lavender or rosemary, if it's been outside in the garden. And it's not so huge that it overwhelms you, or is capable of knocking you over if it gets too excited.
Plus, purring. Dogs don't purr.
B is not a dog person, doesn't want to be followed around all the time.
I have a large dog, but he is even more high maintenance than a regular dog- brushing long haired breeds sucks (although my wife usually does it.)
I only raise pets I enjoy eating; that way I can be sure I'll remember to feed them.
Boy, did I miss the fun. The party's over. Sniff.
My beloved grandnephew wore out at least three people yesterday, between crying hopelessly and being super cute. He has no middle gear.
Asians say that honkies smell like dogs, though many profess to be fond of the smell. All those supposedly submissive little wives you hear about think of their honky husbands as lovable, sexy but rather stupid, smelly pets. You heard it here first.
There's a gland westerners have that Asians don't that is responsible for the stink. Supposedly it can be surgically removed.
I used to know a very attractive young woman who dipped. Hopefully she's quit by now. She later became a field geologist and married her professor. I can't google her because I forgot her husband's name.
For the mission in 144, I am the very man! Pessimism galore!
I laugh at your colds and flus. Later on you can laugh at my cancer.
cats don't care if you exist? You people are obviously not kind enough to your cats
I am kind to my cat. She purrs and plays fetch and is generally lovely. But she'd be quite okay with any other human.
One of my cats likes pretty much everyone after he's gotten a chance to get to know them. The other one pretty much only likes me, although he'll grudgingly tolerate other people.
i had a bad cold in August, coughed almost a month, but that was first due to irritation from formalin which i used to fix cells, my boss was very kind to order a fan to dissipate the fume, i do the fixation in the hood, but then i have to take photos and the plates smelled even through the mask
so imagine our surprise when instead of the fan we got a fan grill (shaped like fan or target) i think he did not read the description of the product
i took almost all antibiotics i brought though have of course student's insurance
this winter was cold-free
what helps me most is cranberry juice if without sugar, hot milk with chocolate or honey
You can quantify your cat's love for you. Set a heating blanket at 5 degrees higher than your lap temperature and find out which one she prefers. Most cats prefer a warm clothesdryer to any human.
And then, I forgot to say, keep setting the temperature up. Some cats may think you're worth 5 degrees, others 10 degrees, but at some point they abandon you.
A truly loyal cat prefers the oven.
I think that cats belong in a well-seasoned stew. Too skinny to roast.
I guess everyone's off satisfying their carnal desires or attending church. Or maybe engaging in wholesome outdoor activities, or eating gourmet vegan meals.
Motherfuckers.
Clearly, unsafe blogging spreads disease. Don't sneeze on the keys! Wrap it before you tap ... the keyboard.
163: I know it's puzzling. Wherefore art thou, motherfuckers!
Only recently has if become known that among the communicable computer viruses are rhinovirus, coronavirus, parainfluenza virus, syncytial virus, adenovirus, enterovirus, and metapneumovirus. It is hoped that HIV viruses infecting computers are not communicable.
164, 166 were, eerily, kinda pwned by a famous-yet-middling sci-fi novel.
Come back, ye of the love-monkey congregation! Close your hymnbooks, put away your sex toys, wipe the pew clean for the next celebrant, and return to your imaginary friends.
Yeah, I can't believe I'm the first to link to this piece of crap....
163 -- Or maybe for some reason blackberry comments wouldn't go through.
154 -- JE, you can look up someone by their original name on privateeye.com and find out their married name(s).
I just picked up the Post, and took a look at the sports page, while waiting for the news. Portland State beat Montana 108-52. They had beaten Montana State by 28. The Vikings are likely to go to the tournament, I think, and might get a couple of rounds in.
169: I read that one just after reading the Linda Hirshman companion piece.
It's nice to see the Post make an effort to include women's voices, eh?
171: I found her under her maiden name, which I had misspelled. She seems to be an ecologist or botanist now.
At one time North Dakota State (Fargo), Pittsburg State (KS), and Portland State were perennial Division II title contenders in football. 4 of the 6 Emerson siblings lived in one of those obscure cities. We were a Division II family, I guess.
NDU (Grand Forks) beat Minnesota in football last year. I have many inlaws with a NDU connection, including one who played football there. They fully expected to win, too, and were pissed at having been called underdogs.
Dipping was what the true assholes did in my high school.
I have previously mentioned in this forum that I was one of the few males in my HS who didn't dip Skoal. An earlier adverse experience turned me off the habit forever.
Outdoor cats can get pretty rank.
You know what smells unbearably rank? A cat with late-stage terminal cancer, half the flesh of which has turned necrotic.
Fleur's parents couldn't bring themselves to put down their old, sick cat. I finally took their cat to the vet myself for a Gnadenschuss of sodium pentathol.
167: Snow Crash read awfully like a comic book. I think I remember reading it was originally supposed to be one. I'm sure I'm in the minority here, but I rather like some others of his books.
175: I really hate it when pet owners refuse to face up to their pets terminal diseases. There's nothing like watching somebody run up thousands of dollars in bills, engage in bedside vigils, get kitty dialysis and chemo, etc. It's a pet, goddamnit.
I know someone who was just diagnosed with whooping cough, which I had thought was a disease that lived only in 19th century novels.
My doctor told me it's making a comeback. There's a booster for it mixed in with the tetanus vaccine, though. So if you're due for a tetanus shot, it could be good to get it for both reasons.
177: I dunno, man. My sister's cat had breast cancer, and my sister paid like $1400 for the operation to remove the tumor. And about 4 years later, the cat's doing just fine, with basically no health problems (except for being old and arthritic). I think the money she spent was way more than worth it to her. I'm not a pet person, but I get why people do this.
Trashbag and a taipipe. Cures all pet ailments.
leblanc--some people spend a lot more than that, though. Tens of thousands. Kidney transplants for cats are my particular pet peeve, since you're making another cat donate a kidney. Plus they cost about $10k.
My sister's cat was diagnosed with cancer last winter. Now the cat has only 3 legs but has been cancer free since the operation. She can still run, jump, etc. and doesn't - judging by body language, facial expressions, meowing - seem much different than before. Just older. My family's other cat was diagnoses with cancer last summer. A day later she was gone.
182 is how we know there is no God, because our civilization surely would have gotten the Gomorrah treatment by now.
182: since you're making another cat donate a kidney
All those poor pussies waking up without a clue in bathtubs of ice with a scar on their (side? back? where the hell are cat kidneys?). Oh the felinity!
