I read your mother's review. The food was okay, she says, but when are you going to make some babies already?

Standpipe!

Mom, bpl and I

I supposed we better get used to that locution.

Teofilo! How are you? How's the sexx0r going?

I supposed I is semi-literate.

This is the sort of post you'll want to redact when the Revolution comes. In the meantime, it sounds like a fantastic experience.

Here is buckit, makes u happee.

Teofilo! How are you? How's the sexx0r going?

I'm fine. The sexx0r is imminent.

This is the sort of post you'll want to redact when the Revolution comes.

This is the sort of post that ensures that ogged won't be around to redact anything when the Revolution comes.

The sexx0r is imminent grave and gathering.

I almost suspect it wasn't lamb at all, but the flesh of innocent virgins

True to form. Anyway, congrats on the fabulous meal, the menu for which nearly made me weep with desire. Looks like bpl played her cards right.

The sexx0r is percolations are imminent.

The sexx0r is imminent grave and gathering.

This reminds me of a friend who, when referring to dates ending in teh sexXx0r, used to say, "sex reared its ugly head."

I'm trying to figure out what the French Laundry's quotation-mark policy is.

"Yes."

So what does Mom think of bpl?

It seems to be foreign terms, but also "lobster roll."

then I put in a little more for the gratuity to round it up, because we really liked our server and we got a tour of the kitchen.

Are you trying to get him fired or something?

Did the mom and the BPL get it on, or hit it off, or whatever you young people say?

17 - I think that's because they like to do really ridiculous and over-the-top stuff and then call them by a pedestrian name. Like at the fancy place that Ellie and I went to in Vegas where the amuse bouche was foie gras "hamburgers".

Also, I'm really busy these next couple of weeks so if Teo really does get laid, somebody had better email me.

But also "gnocchi." I'm guessing those are honest-to-god gnocchi, which does not require a term so foreign that it requires quotation marks. Same with "flan."

I'm guessing those are honest-to-god gnocchi, which does not require a term so foreign that it requires quotation marks. Same with "flan."

See, that's where the brilliance of Thomas Keller confounds your expectations. The "gnocchi" are actually marshmallows, and the "flan" is a bowl of vapor.

A marshmallow gnoccho? Oh no!

The Laundry quotes precisely those terms used to designate "ever weirder moves".

And the place isn't even a laundromat! How crazy is that?

BPL was smart to get back together with you, wasn't she?

(I'm glad you still have a tummy with which to eat all that food. Lobster without a stomach would be a definite challenge.)

You took the bpl to French Laundry after less than a year together? When's the wedding?

teo, why haven't we been kept apprised of your dating progress??

The sexx0r is imminent grave and gathering.

If those are the historical standards we're going by, that means teo's just about to get a kiss on the cheek.

Come to think of it, what happens at places like the FL? You make reservations like 6 months in advance, right? So what if you make a reservation and then someone dumps you, or dies, or something? Do you just go anyway because dammit, getting a reservation there is HARD? Do you keep it, figuring that by the time it rolls around you'll probably be dating someone new anyway? Do you have to pay a deposit if you cancel your reservation less than 48 hours in advance? What?

So what if you make a reservation and then someone dumps you, or dies, or something?

You just bring them along anyway, like Weekend at Bernie's.

teo, why haven't we been kept apprised of your dating progress??

I've been really busy lately, for one thing, and haven't had time to do a whole lot of blogging or commenting. Also, I'm trying not to reveal too much because things with other girls have tended to fall apart soon after I blog about them. For instance, I haven't heard from this girl since, well, that date. I'm not really superstitious, but why take chances?

30: Note that those aren't the words I used.

Has the British government learned that you've been trying to procure teh sexx0r in Africa?

Shhhh!

Fair enough, though unsatisfying to our prurient interests, er, affection & concern for you.

So what if you make a reservation and then someone dumps you, or dies, or something?

You have 72 hours to cancel, otherwise they charge you $100 per person. I actually put myself on the waiting list a week before I wanted to go, and lucked out that someone canceled.

I actually put myself on the waiting list a week before I wanted to go, and lucked out that someone canceled.

I hate you.

Try it, you might luck out. But I told them that I'd take any time between the 21st and the 25th, so my chances were actually pretty decent, I think. And it's not impossible to get regular reservations, particularly if you're willing to go in the middle of the week, which, why the hell not? Go for dinner, spend the night at one of the little places that's walking distance, and take the next day off work.

You make reservations like 6 months in advance, right?

Two months.

Go for dinner, spend the night at one of the little places that's walking distance, and take the next day off work.

I say again: recant and redact, for the Revolution is coming.

I think I can take McManus.

So what if you make a reservation and then someone dumps you, or dies, or something?

It's like that old joke, with a new variation:

A couple is dining at French Laundry and spies a man across the room eating by himself. Thinking to himself "what a waste", the husband goes over and asks the man why he is there alone.

The man replied, "The reservations were for me and my wife. She passed away." The other man replied, "I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't instead bring a friend or a relative?"

The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."

And it's not impossible to get regular reservations, particularly if you're willing to go in the middle of the week, which, why the hell not? Go for dinner, spend the night at one of the little places that's walking distance, and take the next day off work.

Yeah, we'll probably try just this later in the year. Some friends went for dinner in January and made the mistake of driving back to SF after the meal; no way I'm gonna do that.

Thank you everyone. I'll be here all week. Please remember to tip your waiters.

43: You think he'll be alone?

Crap, and you guys give me shit about the damn koi pond.

Then again, come to think of it, why the hell didn't Mr. B. take me someplace nice for my 40th birthday??? Grr.

I liked that they served the Kuroge beef as a tartare.

Beef tartare is God's own food.

You have a koi pond? Those are much harder to redact. Though, when the Revolution comes, you can make gefilte fish.

50: I suppose you think BSE will save you from the Revolution. No, my friend. It will not.

Crap, and you guys give me shit about the damn koi pond.

Nice meals are transient. Koi ponds are forever.

Certainly if you drown in one.

51: It belongs to the landlord. As a renter, I'm down with the gente.

I'll just note that I don't think the Laundry is the most innovative restaurant I've been to.

This may be sacrilege in a thread about such a fine, but seemingly relatively traditional, meal; but have any of the gastronomes* here gone to any of the places that take "molecular gastronomy" to an extreme (hmmm... and now I notice The FL on the list at that site as at least being influenced by it)? The Bigelow Grille here in Pittsburgh operates one ("Alchemy") where I had what will probably be the most intriguingly unusual meal of my life. But my undiscriminating palate makes me totally unqualified to render useful culinary judgment, perhaps one of the P'burgh crew has been there, or can try it and report back.

*Which seems to be most everyone, at least relative to me.

The palate is not important, JP. The meal is conceptual.

48 and 49 provide a neat sort of summary.

I haven't. I'm dying to go to Alinea. El Bulli, too, but that's apparently hard to get to even if you're already in Spain, so I doubt I'll ever make it there.

Oh, hey, ogged, have you been to Coi? Given your tastes, I think you'd like it quite a bit.

There's also this problem at El Bulli.

Notes: As always, the names of these dishes delight me. Did anyone get the "JAMBONNETTE" OF DEVIL'S GULCH RANCH RABBIT (pardon the caps), which sounds marvelous? I've constructed a bizarre mental picture of what it might be.

I am also curious about the SAUTEED FILLET OF PACIFIC KAHALA (what is Passion Fruit Gastrique?)

Did your mom try the VALLEY OAK ACORN "FLAN"?

(Really, I'm sorry about the all-caps pasting.)

Happy birthday, ogged?

And I've been to Manresa: I second the recommendation, y'all. Truly astonishing in some of the textural combinations, ways in which dishes morphed as you progressed through them (this is a plus, believe me), not to mention the best venison I've ever tasted, as well as the best cream of celery soup (it was not called that). Really delightful. And a very inviting, relaxed atmosphere.

El Bulli meetup! June 2012!

Yeah, above besides, I've been wanting to try some inkjet printed foam molecular nonsense for a while now. Sounds rad.

51 to 60.

Minibar appears to be the place in DC for molecular ridiculousness. It sounds cool.

I've been to Manresa

You under-the-radar-jetsetting-bookseller!

It's true though, great restaurant, even if it isn't in the The City.

have you been to Coi?

Have you been there?? It was one of the places I looked at for Valentine's day, but some reviews (at chowhound, I think) put me off. Although I might have just decided that it wasn't a Valentine's day kind of place; I really can't remember.

that given the regular 15-hour days that are required, it's a young person's job.

Also, some may not be getting paid, or may even be paying the restaurant, to work there.

Magpie and I have been thinking about going to this place in May, but it's not clear if our schedule will work out that way. The cyber egg sounds interesting, but I'm not convinced by the idea of the foie gras milkshake. (They also have the most confusing website ever.)

Do it!

Have you been there??

Twice now (and we're going again in late April or early May). It's been fucking outstanding both times. The first time we went was in late December, and the menu was absolutely perfect; it managed to be both inventive and completely suited to the weather. The grapefruit perfume they have you put on your wrist for the first course walks right up to the line of cutesy, but that's not at all representative of the place in general. And it's an excellent place to go for a romantic dinner; the dining room only seats maybe 30 people.

(The only reason the first meal we had at Coi wasn't the best meal I've ever had was that that position was held by the meal we had at Patterson's previous restaurant.)

They also have the most confusing website ever.

Wow, no kidding.

It's been fucking outstanding both times.

Ok, back on the list it goes. It might be a while before I make it there, given how much money I've spent on such things lately.

67:

Pfeh. I can see you aren't going to answer my questions regarding the menu items at the French Laundry.

Oh, sorry. My mom didn't have the "flan," she had the artichokes, and the Kahala was fantastic (fish and bacon: yes!), and the gastrique was, if I recall, just a streak of sauce on the plate and I can't recall precisely what it was like. One of the problems with sharing between three people was that I couldn't linger over the flavors as much as I like to.

Oh, hell, I'm not sure there's such a place as Coi in the mid-Atlantic region; I'm envious.

Yeah, I figured the "gastrique" was a streak of sauce. I still think it's a great way to present your dishes: don't be shy.

I note that the menus of both the Minibar and combal zero use the word "deconstructed," and suggest that it is the duty of right-thinking people to boycott such places.

Looks like this is the place in the DC area.

80, meet 66. 66, pwn 80.

Wow, missed 66 completely.

Not that very good chefs don't do it—a friend served me what he described as "deconstructed ratatouille" at his place—but this use of "deconstructed" must be stopped, along with all the other incorrect ones.

Minibar seats 6. So. Interesting.

Off to bed. Later, y'all.

this use of "deconstructed" must be stopped

I'm not sure what's up with the use of quotation marks around obvious foods: "ravioli", "sun dried" tomato. Both in the Minibar menu. (But the French Laundry menu had some of this weird quoting thing as well.) I'd wonder whether, at the Minibar, we were going to discuss the provenance of "ravioli". Which I guess could be interesting.

Yeah, I figured the "gastrique" was a streak of sauce.

A gastrique is a kind of sauce.

I had dinner at Trio when Grant Achatz was there, before he was famous. So, like, neener neener.

Also, my bicycle seat was stolen while I was at a concert with Wrongshore. I'm certain he was in league with the thieves.

I would also like to know why the latest checkout of exaile runs out of memory when scanning my library.

(Answer: because psyco chokes.)

How was E.A.M.B., Ben?

a totally charming guy named Zion

If he was white, he's almost guaranteed to be LDS.

a totally charming guy named Zion

If he was white, he's almost guaranteed to be LDS

I assumed he has a superhero/villain.

The wife is taking me to Coi next week.

I'm getting the impression that the French Laundry has declined a bit in recent years; when we went in 2002, it was pretty stunning.

If he was white

He wasn't.

I assumed he has a superhero/villain.

Were you thinking of Static? Somehow, that's who I think of when I hear "superhero" in conjunction with "Zion." I couldn't for the life of me tell you why.

has declined a bit in recent years

Emphasis on "a bit," and that's why I wrote the first sentence of the post. I think competition and changing expectations account for about 90% of the supposed decline, and minor slips in service and the occasional bum dish account for the rest.

You make reservations like 6 months in advance, right?

Two months.

Six months is more like it for Eigensinn Farm.

I don't think you get any part of the advance if SWPL links. Just, you know, FYI.

I feel like an enabler of ogged's whiteness.

Was there Kobe beef?

Eigensinn Farm.

Zion's lair.

Seaweed restaurants in Tokyo accept 18-year reservations from newborns for their high-school graduation parties. These reservations can only be canceled by death, which is why so many failing students commit suicide.

96: Some folks also fuss about which coast Keller is on on any particular day, claiming it's only worth eating at FL or PS when he's there. I find these people annoying.

97: Two months is the only reservation window offered. You can't make reservations 6 mos. in advance at TK's restaurants.

Is there a black market in bicycle seats, or is it just sniffer pervs?

103 true. You wouldn't get one at EF in a two month window, but the dynamics is different. They've got very few tables (and one seating). So reservations have a deposit and are months in advance.

A gastrique is a kind of sauce.

I love you, Ben. Menu writing is an art, is it not, and it really does delight me.

I'm trying not to hate you all for reviving my interest in dining experiences that are beyond my budget. Come the revolution, we will trade a glorious treatise on authenticity for a stunning amuse bouche. The trade will be accompanied by a wink and a smile.

How was E.A.M.B., Ben?

Really good.

I think competition and changing expectations account for about 90% of the supposed decline, and minor slips in service and the occasional bum dish account for the rest.

I wouldn't be surprised if it's also due in part to the expansion of Keller's empire. Do you know if he was at FL when you went?

Do you know if he was at FL when you went?

I don't think he was. I didn't see him, anyway.

And no "Happy Birthdays" sung, I trust?

god... sounds so amazing. definitely sealed it for me. i am planning a trip to san fran to celebrate graduating from medical school. my graduation gift to myself is going to be dinner at FL. can't wait...

I'm torn between two thoughts:
1) The meal sounds wonderful. Hurray for food!
2) That's, like, my food budget for the next four months.

yum. I'm going to try to get reservations at minibar!

i am planning a trip to san fran to celebrate graduating from medical school.

Do it. *We* were planning a trip to India, which got downgraded to a trip to Mexico, which got downgraded to a new laptop.

Hm. Between that and the 40th non-birthday....