This is possibly the best post since the Geraldo smackdown.
Surprisingly Hokey-Pokey like!
(And hey! I just watched some gay porn on my computer that wasn't from Sifu; it's always from Sifu.)
You call that gay? Now here's something gay.
How did you come across this, ogged?
It takes someone secure in his sexuality to obsessively seek out flamboyant gay porn night after night.
Also, even the bad gay way is completely awesome.
That cock-whip is quite a dance move.
Okay, one, that is totally, totally awesome.
And two, I think you should watch that video every single time you want to say or even think that women dancing around with jiggly asses or boobies is hot. Because seriously, my reaction to that video is that awww, the jiggling penises are kind of cute! And also, huh, I know it's ridiculous and silly but it *is* kind of hot....
By the way, the LA Times jumped on the rickrolling bandwagon today. With an interview!
9.2 is funny, because I had the opposite reaction: it's a damn good thing jiggling is normally employed in moderation.
I LIVE.
This kind of reminds me of the Superbowl Shuffle video.
This kind of reminds me of the Superbowl Shuffle video.
If the 1985 Bears had been all white. And gay.
This is where the Yatta video comes up again, right?
13: and as BitchPhD said to me, "with their dicks flopping around."
No wonder ogged doesn't dance.
Well, this particular variety of dance does seem to starkly advantage showers over growers.
BTW, which one was Fontana Labs?
I much prefer the surprise and delight of finding a grower. Just found myself a lovely one recently, too.
And while there's a certain "Aww, wook at the horny widdle puppy" cuteness about all that wang wiggling, naked guys who try to be sexy very rarely achieve it. A clothed or half-clothed guy can pose and dance reasonably successfully, but if a guy's naked, he should either be fucking (or wanking, or getting sucked, or something), or he should just be walking about and minding his own business.
Then again, I rarely think naked women waggling about is all that sexy either. I guess conscious sexual posing doesn't do much for me.
Yep. I'm a voyeur. Who likes growers. Maybe it's because I'm Catholic.
Ooh, Yatta mention. Did people see this when it was making the rounds about four years ago?
Those men, such as they are, who like watching naked or practically-naked women dancing, prefer to see them engaging in slow and sinuous movements, not this Broadway Dreams nonsense. No human being, even a woman, could look other than silly dancing naked in the way these guys are doing it.
Regard the scenes in movies set in strip clubs. The strippers all move slowly.
I much prefer the surprise and delight of finding a grower. Just found myself a lovely one recently, too.
It seems odd that although the body hair on these fellows was all removed, the pubic hair remains in full flower. Not even trimmed to provide that extra optical inch.
I so wanted them to bust a "Lord of the Dance" move.
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The Editors makes his contribution to America's Open Dialogue on Race. Thanks, The Editors!
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I so wanted them to bust a "Lord of the Dance" move.
You mean, like auto-fellatio?
What, had they not heard of erections in 1985?
these guys are surrounded by a bunch of other guys, Nathan. No erections likely in that scenario.
Fatman, it was 1985. People BELIEVED in pubic hair back then. Trimming the pubes was like killing the Easter Bunny.
(Err, just when did our email addresses start getting displayed in comments? Most blogs don't do that these days.)
28: On the other hand, an email address is not required for posting. I'm not using one right now!
28, 29: This has always been the case at Unfogged.
Pecs: hard. Dingers: soft.
Fwippity fwoppety fwapfwapfwap bap phoomp.
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I experienced the most wonderful schadenfreude ever this evening.
Eight or so years ago, I did a bunch of programming work for this guy, and he never paid me for the work I did. This is one of three people in the world against whom I hold a deep and personal grudge. I'd throw a drink in his face if I ever met him at a party or restaurant.
Tonight, as I was listening to the evening news, I heard his name. He's been arrested for fraud.
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So, the post title implicitly divides all people into heterosexual and homosexual males. How 'bout that?
Perhaps it actually divides all people into resident and nonresident homosexual males.
33: not at all!
it implies that even though homolords are the most likely people to find this arousing - because it is intended for them - they still will not find it arousing.
33: I'm pretty sure that at most one can infer from the title a spectrum of human sexuality on which there is an extreme degree of homosexual men so gay we're known as homolords. We ask that you kneel when addressing us, thank you.
I think the lessons to be taken from this video are that:
(a) ogged has a really off-kilter impression of gay porn
(b) The Reagan era really did produce an anti-rhythm area of effect that negated all groove it encountered, even among gay men.
(c) we should all be grateful that the bath house era ended
(d) the apparent central twink of the video looks just enough like Davy Jones of the Monkees to distract.
I experienced the most wonderful schadenfreude ever this evening.
Prolong and intensify the feeling by fantasizing about ways you could kick him while he's down!
I thought for a second that the first solo dancer was Owen Wilson.
32: Congrats, zadfrack. I've got my own heart-warming story of shadenfreude.
I got fired from a job because of my union work. I got blacklisted in my industry, and the strain of the situation was a big contributor to my divorce.
I took legal action. After a fight of nearly two years, I won and got my job back.
Not long after my return, the fucker responsible for my firing was killed in a car crash on the way home from work. A drunk driver swerved over three lanes of traffic to smack his car head-on. He left a wife, an adult son, and a teenage daughter.
It still makes me smile to think about it.
Forty comments on the hilariously overdone butt jiggle at 0:59. That was fanTAStic!
Uh, that is: "Forty comments [and nothing] on the hilariously overdone butt jiggle at 0:59. That was fanTAStic!"
I got excited, it seems.
I dance like that for my wife every damn day, and does she thank me? No. No she does not.
I'd throw a drink in his face if I ever met him at a party or restaurant.
Heh. Several years ago in an Arby's, I did dump a drink on a guy who had ripped off my ex for a bunch of design work she did for him. It was an excellent feeling.
YOU DRINK MY JAMOCHA MILKSHAKE!
43: That's weird. She's always pretty effusive when I do it.
46: Laughter is indeed the best medicine.
44, 32: Two friends of mine broke up when she went off to college and he did not. He broke up by ceasing all communications with her without explanation.
Both of them, separately and spontaneously, showed up at my apartment one day. This was the first time they had seen each other since he stopped returning her calls. My roomate and I thought this was pretty ominous, but we got comfortable as the two of them chatted for awhile quite civilly.
I still don't know exactly what happened, but when I wasn't really paying attention closely, she took her glass of water and, quite calmly, poured it over his head.
She later called me to apologize. I assured her that the couch wasn't damaged, and that no apology was necessary.
zadfrack, that's awesome. GW, that's, uh, awesome? and a little frightening.
40: So the wife, adult son and teenage daughter were in on it?
My best girlfriend used to work as a waitress in h.s. and college summer breaks. She comes from a very big, just-getting-by mixed-race family and, b/c of her social and academic trajectory, has had to deal with her fair share of unthinking classism and racism.
Anyway, so once she had this couple in, and the women was apparently bossy and rude as hell. It didn't help my friend's sensibilities that the woman had long sleek blond hair and was apparently quite pretty. Anyway, at some point my friend couldn't take it any more and "accidentally" tripped, pouring an entire pitcher of ice water into the woman's lap.
(I hasten to assure you that this friend of mine is very much the *nicest* person I have ever met in my entire life. She also said that the boyfriend actually left a *huge* tip, so though I have no idea what the woman actually did to deserve a pitcher of ice water in her lap, I feel pretty sure that it was egregious.)
That video just makes me glad to be me; and I don't understand
Also 37- I'm ineligible for homolord too?? crap. that's what I thought I got in trade for full citizenship rights (legal protections and rewards of state-recognized marriage, protection against employment discrimination, etc). I mean, it didn't seem such a bad trade when I thought I'd get homolord status. i've been ripped off.
oops
first line of my 52 should be
'That video just makes me glad to be me; and I don't understand 9"
that SO doesn't have the appeal of homolord. can I be homogod? (in a potentially polytheistic way, of course)
Sure you shouldn't have gone Presidential with 51, B? That's pretty intense.
Non-lesbians are ineligible, unfortunately.
How about "goddyke"?
My point in 9 was that the boys here like to make jokes about ogling the ladies, jokes that are sort of kidding-on-the-square. Whereas this video, to this lady, is mostly silly and a teensy bit hot, so on the one hand I can understand why men think silly ass-jiggling dances by women are hot, but on the other, perhaps watching this video can also help them see why such dances are mostly actually silly and why the ladies generally get annoyed by a lot of humorless focusing on the hottness without the requisite giggling.
Huh. I though it was a no-n lesbian. A lesbia.
57 is almost funny enough to be preferable to homogod. [58 is a joke, no? --just in case, it's "anon" as in "anonymous"]
If you'll dance for me, B, I promise to giggle.
You can be a homolady.
ben, you jerk. You now have me mis-hearing the opening lyrics of this song as "homolady".
62: I'll show you mine if you show me yours first.
lesbaleader?
Bphd--yes, I did get that. Sorry, that was a failed attempt at humor on my part (lesbian anounces that she doesn't get 'swinging dicks as hot' hahaha... i know. head. desk. I should just go to sleep)
59.2: Unfortunately, this doesn't really work. By popular acclamation, jiggling flaccid junk almost always looks way stupider.
a failed attempt at humor
That's okay. You're a lesbian, after all.
66: Popular acclamation is sexist. Duh.
68: Sure. But on this one, I'm not convinced it's wrong.
Well, you're a straight guy, one, and two, our eyes have been trained through a great deal of exposure to find jiggling women HOTT. And jiggling women often have better production values and stylists. Which is why I allowed way upthread as to how I found these guys kinda hot despite the amateurishness of the video. It's a data point, is what I'm saying.
I found these guys kinda hot
But not hotter than the pumping video.
Much. Much, much hotter than the pumping video.
And just for reminding me of that, I am so totally not dancing for you, apo.
Apropos of drink throwing above, a friend of mine threw a beer in the face of another friend when he poked her twice with a wiffle bat. In the breast. It was an accidental poking, though, or so he claimed.
Fair enough. But mostly I think what's going on is that women's bodies can visually signify as Sex Object regardless of their state of arousal, whereas with dudes, it's possible to have a hilarious incongruity between, say, sexy dancing and definitely unsexed genitalia. It's not the jiggling that's at issue; I'll bet that video would still be funny but much less obviously ridiculous if they'd kept all the jiggling and invested in a few fluffers.
In re homolords:
No title of nobility shall be granted by the United States: and no person holding any office of profit or trust under them, shall, without the consent of the Congress, accept of any present, emolument, office, or title, of any kind whatever, from any king, prince, or foreign state.
We're not kings, princes, or foreign states, either.
67: oh, yeah. right. well, it's good to have an excuse.
75: feh. constitution didn't stop dear leader, why should it stop me, the great lesbaleader or my fellow travelers the homolords?
74: Hm, interesting hypothesis. I'm inclined to think that dancing around with an erection joggling (as opposed to a jiggling flaccid cock) would at least *look* rather painful, which would cut the hotness, but you definitely have a good argument there.
it's good to have an excuse.
Aw, crap, with a reasonable and good-humored response like that you're not helping me out at all with my contention that my own famed humorlessness is just a sexist plot of Ogged.
This is a title of ignobility.
Bigot.
We're not kings, princes, or foreign states, either.
Are we not the United States? 'sfunny, Unfogged looks like America.
'sfunny, Unfogged looks like America.
Only to a decadent coastal elitist like yourself.
Unfogged looks like America.
So clean! So white!
See the America you want to see, teo.
From the pics I've seen, Unfogged is whiteyville/Salt Lake City.
From the pics I've seen, Unfogged is whiteyville/Salt Lake City.
Look who's talking.
Look who's talking.
No one knows whiteness like me.
From the pics I've seen, Unfogged is whiteyville/Salt Lake City.
Fortunately, I'm here to black things up some.
will someday he build on them? tiny sexist palaces, perhaps?
Only if they're located within half a mile of a Whole Foods.
85: From the pics I've seen, Unfogged is whiteyville/Salt Lake City.
Seeing that video makes me wonder if it was in the minds of the creators of the first "Tales of the City" miniseries to reference it in the sequence where Michael "Mouse" Tolliver wins the dance competition. There's a very similar combination of sexy and cute (although much, much sexier in the miniseries, I would argue), and some of the dance moves are identical. But perhaps its just some kind of homorphogenetic field effect.
You'd think the choreography would be better.
I'm not sure how people got this idea, but even though its kind of difficult to dance around with a boner, its quite easy to giggle with one.
also, this video is my favorite gay one, though not otherwise the same theme http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuVuDwnUNXE
I think this thread also explains why, on the veldt, early Man invented loincloths.
Well you've all moved on, but how about Archdyke?
I'm sorry you feel left out, anonlesbian. I hadn't realized you might want to be included in the list of people who might conceivably be aroused by dudes shaking their flaccid wangs at a camera. Silly fucking me!
geez mcmanly, now who is humorless?
99: I dunno. what do i get if i'm archdyke?
Robusto, if you had just been moving a little more quickly that time I had to skin-check your boxers when we were up at Brown, it could have been you wearing that headband! (ok, with better hair)
Schadenfreude: A boss who royally fucked me over a couple of years ago has since suffered some professional setbacks: first, shortly after I left, he was demoted from a position with many direct reports (including another manager) to a manager of 2 other people, in a much less visible (important) position.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, I heard that he'd not only had his direct reports taken away, they'd taken away his office and busted him down to a cubicle. A friend of mine reported seeing him in a coffeeshop midday, on his laptop and looking mopey. Too bad, so sad.
Today, I hear that my old company has just laid off a substantial number of people, concentrating their canning efforts on our segment of the business and a couple of others.
I anxiously await further developments.
101: Sorry, I vented work frustrations at you.
102: Let's just lock that image away deep in our minds - deep, deep down in the dark of our minds where we'll never consciously think of it again - and never, ever exhume it.
The manager who canned me from my job as a framer last year got canned herself a few weeks back without any prior notice.
I pause for some Loudon Wainwright:
Sheer coincidence you said, synchronicity
Now the woman who should have actually been store manager all along is having to clean up the muck that this other mofo left behind.
Update to 103: Bad ex-boss did in fact get laid off, unfortunately along with many people who didn't actually deserve it.
Here's hoping that ex-boss follows through on his idle promises to leave the country.
luved video, watched it numerous times
