Never, ever believe anything the Times ever writes about neuroscience. It is all 100% wrong.
What are you, some kind of expert? Don't you run a homeless shelter or something? Anyway, this is by an editor at Nature Neuroscience and a neuroscience prof at Princeton, so you'll have to do better than an argument from notoriety.
It doesn't have anything to do with the authors; it's weird: something about the publication itself turns everybody's words to garbage.
Or, honestly, it has a lot to do with taking more-or-less supported neuroscience conclusions and simplifying them to approximately the point of meaningless (cf. all the articles about the part of your brain that regulates hugging grandpa or whatever).
For one thing, in this article they're equating short-term task persistence with willpower, which is sort of a weird definition.
When I read this article I was all confused. If I brush my teeth with my nondominant hand for two weeks, am I going to be increasing my willpower, or lessening my "store of willpower"? Which one?
This makes me feel like punching you, and I surely lack the willpower to hold off, so it's best that you are so far away.
I'm a little confused--the article seems contradictory. (The full article even moreso than your excerpt.) Should I stop making myself exercise in order to preserve my limited store of willpower to keep me faithful to my wife, or will making myself exercise regularly make my willpower stronger ("like a muscle") and so make me better able to remain faithful?
The idea that "you have a limited store of will power, so be sure to use it only for what's truly important" is hard to reconcile, as a practical matter even if not theoretically, with "you need to exercise willpower like a muscle in order to make yourself better at exercising your willpower."
People who stick to an exercise program for two months report reducing their impulsive spending, junk food intake, alcohol use and smoking. They also study more, watch less television and do more housework.
Maybe exercise of willpower just makes people delusional, you self-reportedly awesome, machinelike person, you.
8: that's because they're all confused about the difference between short term and long term. All the article is really saying is that doing something already-learned in an unfamiliar way takes energy, and you have a limited amount of energy available for complex cognitive tasks. The more you do already-learned tasks in an unfamiliar way, the better you are at it.
You could write exactly the same article about learning to do something new. You have a limited amount of focus and attention, and it's sort of draining to do something unfamiliar.
At least, that's what the drunk vietnam vet told me just now.
The more you do already-learned tasks in an unfamiliar way, the better you are at it.
Is "it" here the particular already-learned task you're doing in a different way, or is it that you get better at doing things in an unfamiliar way in general? Do you get better at brushing your teeth with the other hand (whoop de doo) or do you become more flexible and open to doing things differently in general?
16: the article is arguing the latter, which intuitively makes sense to me (based on my very limited understanding of how the process that strengthens synaptic connections in the brain (or one of them, anyhow, LTP) works) but again, those people are liars and shouldn't be believed.
Is there a field of human inquiry in which Sifu is not an expert? He has an opinion on everything.
He is expert at having inexpert opinions.
In other words, he is an orator.
Is there a field of human inquiry in which Sifu is not an expert?
Heidegger.
I was confused in the same way as Blume and Brock.
|| Blume, as soon as a learned that you studied German your pseud in my head went from Bloom to Bluuumuh.|>
Also the German language.
Also, you know, everything. Still, though.
They should have had participants in the study eat marshmallows between tasks.
I go back and forth with the way I pronounce it in my head.
I think you can think of the short-term/long-term problem as being analogous to strengthening a muscle. Weaker just after a workout, stronger thereafter.
Task persistence is also reduced when people are stressed or tired from exertion or lack of sleep.
Well, I'll be damned. No kidding.
The book The Obesity Myth suggests that it is no coincidence that the Lewinsky thing happened at the same time that Clinton was trying to lose weight, because he couldn't resist everything at once.
This makes me feel like punching you, and I surely lack the willpower to hold off, so it's best that you are so far away.
If you were here, you wouldn't want to punch me or smoke, you know.
Everybody go get a room!
Willpower point taken, however.
If you were here, you wouldn't want to punch me or smoke, you know.
Because she would have already given in to another temptation, that being your smoldering sexuality.
Just accept that you are naught but meat puppets, people. The soylent green goes down easier.
32: clearly you lacked the will not to make that explicit.
Whole post is wrong, should be the Will to Power, of course.
And I read my Schopenhauer, ain't nothing, nothing but the Will...and the Nothing Even representation is will. Increasing will universally is like, like some analogy. You can only suck other's will from them, like a vampire of succubus or trollish blog commenter or youthful candidate of hope.
I believe Sifu's claims to expertise in this regard.
I believe Sifu claims expertise in this regard.
This blog post is trying to suck my life away. Non serviam.
||
My wife was a week early. The baby has arrived! I put a picture in the flickr pool...
We're sleepy, and sore. Excited, too. Oh, and hungry, and terrified.
|>
I regard the claims of expertise as Sifu's beliefs.
If you were here, you wouldn't want to punch me or smoke, you know.
Only because smokers are pariah in that neck of the woods. I'd want a drink I suppose, to fill the void.
Thanks, folks: I harvest congratulations and use them to make bio-diesel. It's a side-business, but I'm hoping to make it big, someday.
I know you took more than one picture, TJ. Post.
baby!!! yay!!! Congratulations, TJ!
TJ, Wonderful, exciting, terrifying, beautiful! Congratulations.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrriUZJ_Qwk !!
What nonsense.
OTOH, the show today on NPR"s marketplace about economic downterms being good for people's health was interesting. It's a little difficult to believe that any positive effect of lower consumption would show up immediately, but at least the *idea* that bad economic times = people behaving more sensibly and healthily is a nice one.
that's a really cute baby shot with the sleeves over the hands. and a funny sleeping position! new babies are yummy.
54: TJs baby is not nonsense, B.
Actually neither is the article, in a 100% about-face. It's just sort of banal.
new babies are yummy
TJ did mention being hungry.
I've been trying not to start drinking until I finish grading, and I am not sure I have enough willpower left to leave off eating babies.
Is there a field of human inquiry in which Sifu is not an expert? He has an opinion on everything.
Now that he's decided to go back and pursue his proper degree, that should wrap itself up quickly.
will, this semester, I teach 19th-cent fiction and only that. which is sweet. next semester i teach a mess of comp and science fiction. that will be a little less sweet.
Brock, I think you can follow the link from the flickr pool to my photostream.
Oh, did TJ have a baby? Congratulations, TJ! I just went and spent like $50 bucks on cute baby clothes today for my best girlfriend's third. (Why am I buying new clothes for a third baby, you ask? It's the first girl, and anyway, wtf.) Welcome to the expensive world of parenting.
It's just sort of banal
Heh. It says that people get burned out when they control or restrain their impulses. Where you go from there is the question: stop restraining all your impulses all the time (I'm talking to you, control freaks), or get into an elaborate self-control game. The neuro-blah-blah seems a joke. "The brain's store of willpower"?
I think you can follow the link from the flickr pool to my photostream.
Aww...
science fiction gets taught in school?
Interesting.
Titties Babies! Hooray!
Congratulations, TJ.
It's the first girl
Little girl clothes are more fun.
Little girl clothes are more fun.
Needless to say, I remain a staunch advocate of buying both "boy" and "girl" clothes for children of all sexes. In this case, I chose a onesie that says "baby sister", one of those little rompers with a beach scene on it and green stripes (which was filed in the "girl" section; PK preferred it to the other option, which was an orange romper with a crab on it, filed in the "boy" section), and a floppy green and pink hat.
So just for laughs, what I think the neuroscience is: arousal and attention in the brain are mediated by a class of neurotransmitter called glucocorticoids via the action of various structures including the hypothalamus, which then directs various other neurotransmitters to the functional areas of the brain most likely to help with the cognitive task at hand. In addiction (and really, any learned behavior) there is a very strong association between a given functional group and a given task, so the hypothalamus actives the heck out of that group. If you try and do something you know well differently than you usually do it, you're going to make the hypothalamus (among others, I suspect) activate in ways they don't usually activate, which means there's going to be less glucocorticoid receptors in those parts of the hypothalamus, which means you'll mean more glucocorticoids to do the action than you would to do the learned action. If you are constantly trying to do things in a different way than you've always done them, it should be possible (via learning mechanisms that honestly aren't all that well understood) to increase the number of glucocorticoid receptors holistically in the hypothalamus (among other places) meaning that it will require less of that neurotransmitter, and thus less glucose -- which comes from blood sugar -- to perform novel tasks.
Or I could be way off. For one thing I'm not entirely sure I'm remember the role of the hypothalamus all that accurately, and for another thing everything in the brain is way, way more complicated than represented by either me or that article.
Also congrats on the little dude, and may his Hypothalamic-Pituitary-Adrenal Function be, if anything, the beneficiary of the tremendous glucocorticoid surplus enjoyed by your no doubt relaxed and confident wife.
When I wrote 73 I was thinking of this quote from Patricia Churchland which, while it will probably irritate many of you, is at least a better way of thinking about the issues involved than reading pop neuroscience in the NYT.
Yeah, we got a whole bunch of plain white onesies that we're slowly dyeing. A tie-dye job, one hunter green, a tan one, we'll do black and grey, too. But there was an absurd preponderance of blue stuff given.
77: Heh, we had an "inappropriate onesie" painting contest at the baby shower. I couldn't bring myself to put a few of them on the baby once he was born, but most of them weren't too far over the line.
78: we had that too at my baby party! fun. my favorite one had a mock-up of the Juicy brand "Juicy" logo across the bum.
Congratulations, TJ. How 'bout that new-baby smell?
The last babyclothe I bought was a red onesie with Che. For union organizers who had put out a "no pink"* bulletin. Easy.
*Summarily ignored by Latino shower guests, but followed by white people.
The linked quote in 76 reminds of me of the older brother in The Corrections.
*Summarily ignored by Latino shower guests, but followed by white people.
Heh. I really hesitated over the pink "baby sister" onesie, because said baby is a mix of Puerto Rican/Nicaraguan/Costarican parentage (with one white grandmother who isn't particularly opposed to gendering kids' clothing). The green-striped romper was a deliberate "progressive white liberal friend" purchase, though.
Jesus--yeah! And I'm amazed at how soft the hair and skin is.
"Hypothalamus" is a pretty cool word.
How 'bout that new-baby smell?
Very important. That plus several months of low-stink shit plus total exhaustion is important to prepare you for the diapers to come when the kid gets onto solid food, as I was reminded to my chagrin when we babysat friends' toddler all weekend.
76: It boggled me. It reminds me of something a friend told me about her father-in-law, a Skinnerian psychologist: every transaction was framed asa reinforcement curve, so that if he invited his son and daughter-in-law over for dinner he would explain what the payoff for them would be.
Yay baby!
Now I am all sentimental my two little budget-drainers.
My beloved grandnephew is past three and there's still no point in wiping his butt. Their sphincters are more efficient than ours. Indeed, the whole downward path of our lives consists of the degradation of various sphincters and valves.
Just wait until the first time he gets a scratch (most likely from his own fingernails, despite whatever care you put into keeping them trimmed): you can practically watch it heal, it happens so fast. Tiny soft alien being with super healing powers, damn, you smell good!
(most likely from his own fingernails, despite whatever care you put into keeping them trimmed)
Yep, buy extra socks to put on those hands.
Jesus, actually he came out with switchblade-nails. I've got to trim them, and quick--he displays a remarkable desire to swipe them across the face.
87: yeah I mean, I can't quite imagine that acting like that would really be so helpful. Notably, actual neuroscientists don't tend to talk that way.
Speaking of trolling: holy shit, bad things can happen to people like us. As always in the NYT, writer + writer's friend = truth about humanity.
he came out with switchblade-nails
Careful when you hold that kid if you're not wearing a shirt. I almost lost a nipple.
If gonerill is who it just occurred to me to think he is, then he's not who I thought he was.
92: If you're having trouble with nail clippers (which are scary next to tiny baby fingers) you can nibble sharp nails off. This parenting advice courtesy of my Evil Grandmother, but it's worked on enough babies that it's safe to take.
If gonerill is who it just occurred to me to think he is, then he's not who I thought he was.
I am Spartacus.
In psychological studies, even something as simple as masturbating with using your nondominant hand to brush your teeth for two weeks can increase willpower capacity.
Hillary was several times more impressive than Obama in questioning Petraeus and Crocker today. She came off as having a more incisive mind, and her experience showed.
Obama was meandering and sort of confusing. But more seminar/academic and collegial than Hillary.
Hillary (check out her first question to Crocker, it's devastating):
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video_log/2008/04/clinton_questions_petaeus.html
Obama:
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video_log/2008/04/obama_questions_petraeus_and_c.html
Warning: this shit is probably boring if you're not a political junkie.
Pedants! Help me. Would you say a little thing is "one hundred-thousandth" of a big thing, or that a little thing is "one one hundred-thousandth" of a big thing? I believe the former is correct, but am being told it should be the latter. I'm also of the opinion that either one works insofar as neither could possibly be taken to mean anything other than 1/100,000, so maybe it's not a big deal. But I'd like to know what's correct.
81, 83: things white people like: non sex-sterotypical colors!
101: "a one-hundred thousandth"?
On the specific question I think the people telling you are correct.
But I'd like to know what's correct.
Is the person you're disagreeing with senior or junior to you?
On the specific question I think the people telling you are correct.
Sorry, I should have been more clear--the "former" meant the first option, the "latter" meant the second option. You still side with them?
The person disagreeing with me is not technically junior or senior. Nor opposing. It's collaborative.
I do, but the more I think about it I don't have any reason for that. Whatever you want, baby. Whatever you want.
Congratulations, TJ! That's a gorgeous baby.
Also, I just saw a couple of photos of Sifu and Blume all dressed up with, presumably, somewhere to go. Holy crap! Blume looks absolutely stunningly beautiful. Oh, and Sifu looks good too, of course.
What's with all this wiffle-waffling? Where's a goddam pedant when you need one?! I need an answer now folks, and I need an answer with some fucking conviction to it.
Then the correct answer is your last one: "Either works, and why are you being a prick about it?" (Which I think is the right answer anyway; "hundred" and "one hundred" mean the same thing, and no one would ever say "one two-hundred-thousandth." And "one one-hundred-thousandth" is kind of ugly. OTOH it looks more uptight and pedantic, which is always a plus in legal writing.)
Whatever you want, baby.
As I said to Dolores Montenegro in 'Calling All Quakers!'-- have it your way, baby!"
Would you say a little thing is "one hundred-thousandth" of a big thing, or that a little thing is "one one hundred-thousandth" of a big thing?
I would either say "a hundred-thousandth" or "one one hundred-thousandth" with a strong preference for the former. If real numbers are involved -- e.g., an actual measurement of something -- then use numerals.
Wow, if I were Sifu, I would be pissed at TJ upstaging my moment of expertisalosity by having a baby.
Fuck it. I don't think there's a "correct" answer. To be clear, the text actually already says "one hundred-thousandth (1/100,000)", so I can't imagine how anyone could think this confusing, and am frankly a bit annoyed that's it's even being raised as an issue. I think I'm putting my foot down and leaving it the way it is. "[O]ne one hundred-thousandth" is ugly.
I miss Troy McClure.
Also, "one one hundred-thousandth" sounds awkward, and for most people (myself included) is all but meaningless (unless you have a pie graph or some similar visual aid).
am frankly a bit annoyed that's it's even being raised as an issue
Think of it as a sign that your writing was good enough that your colleague couldn't find anything non-chickenshit on which to meet his red ink quota.
112: I'll have my revenge.
113: change it to "a li'l teeny tiny bit thar" just to mess with them.
116.2: Isn't that unit correctly referred to as a "red one"?
I would call it "Ten to the negative fifth".
The more I think about it (damn it) the more I think it should be "a hundred thousandth".
"A hundred thousandth" is natural, but--for reasons vastly too complex to go into here--it's important this numeric phrase starts with the word "one".
Babies are cute and non-stinky because being otherwise would ensure none of them survived infancy.
(Be careful with the nail-clipping. For some reason a lot of people find it difficult not to CUT THE BABY'S FINGERTIP which AHHHHHHHH. No, I never did, but Mr. B. did once. Though come to think of it I think he did it on purpose so as never to have to cut PK's finger or toenails again, the bastard.)
121: Ah, it's an acrostic legal brief.
FWIW, Google favors "one hundred thousandth" over just "a" and "one one" by ten to one.
what's wrong with 10 micro-whatevers ?
Yeah, I took about 20 minutes to just clip the big pointy ones. Fraught! I'll try LB's hint next time.
123: Actually since "one one" is included in all of the "one"s it is 9:1 over "one one".
For some reason a lot of people find it difficult not to CUT THE BABY'S FINGERTIP which AHHHHHHHH.
I did that to my daughter's finger when she was about ten days old. WORST FEELING EVAR.
Is there a field of human inquiry in which Sifu is not an expert?
Ahem, well, I've just returned from The Poor Man, where he revealed that he hates Leonard Cohen. So the answer appears to be yes. In fact, with that one comment, the magnificent edifice of Sifu's expertise crumbled into dust before me. I trusted you, man!
I did that to my daughter's finger when she was about ten days old. WORST FEELING EVAR.
I did too, and YES IT IS.
TJ, you should totally try that thing where you put your fingers in your baby's graspy little hands and lift him up by them! I saw it in a movie once! Totally safe and the effect wears off a few days after they emerge!
And congratulations!!!
I cut one of my fingertips off with a bread knife a few years ago. No big deal. Babies can handle it.
I'm thinking we should install strobe lights and entrain his blinking.
128: WHAT? This is outrageous! And shocking!
Geez, TJ, what was I thinking not bringing the wee one a gift? Welcome to the world, little TJ hatchling!
I cut one of my fingertips off with a bread knife a few years ago. No big deal. Babies can handle it.
You're right. I just told my baby son that you sliced your fingertip off; he gave me a big goofy smile and appeared to care not a whit.
128: You could have found out the same on this here very blog not more than 3 weeks ago. Boy, I just don't like Leonard Cohen very much.
(I am informed by shivbunny that I have a new nephew. His brother's kid. It's apparently baby season.)
139: Compare the Unfogged version:
Boy, I just don't like Leonard Cohen very much.
to the Poor Man version:
Oh man I hate Leonard Cohen so much.
I thought the dude was real, man. Fuck. Long live NOLA!
It's actually less painful than circumcision. And you don't need support groups for people who sliced off fingertips the way you do for the unhappily circumcised. .
On the terror of a new baby: it's best to remember that people far less capable than you (well, really your wife) have, in the past, raised their children to adulthood. Babies are, in other words, much less fragile than they seem. That said, it really is best not to eat them. Unless you're very, very hungry.
And congratulations. You've made me incredibly misty over the fact that we'll never have another newborn.
it's best to remember that people far less capable than you
Ten million years on the African savannah. Eating carrion. We're not nearly as fragile as the parenting books would lead you to think.
It's apparently baby season.
140: Just people getting carried away in paroxysms of patriotism around the 4th of July. (And "The Queen Still Fucking Rules" Day or whatever it is in Canada.)
I make a delicious carrion and baby stew, Napi. You should come by for dinner next week.
144: We're not nearly as fragile as the parenting books would lead you to think.
Yeah, tell that to stras.
People who drink a glass of lemonade between completing one task requiring self-control and beginning a second one...
They should try alcoholic beverages. I know full well why I am master of my universe.
Carrion was after we graduated from eating live ants. Bet you don't use live ants in your stew, Ari. I'll pass.
BTW, it may be farther off for you than it is for me (and I'm in no hurry, mind you), but grandchildren are likely a-comin', and you get the new baby smell without having to get up in the middle of the night.
It's actually less painful than circumcision. And you don't need support groups for people who sliced off fingertips the way you do for the unhappily circumcised.
Temple?
people far less capable than you (well, really your wife) have, in the past, raised their children to adulthood
I did enough with my baby brother and sister that I have most of the necessary technical skills. But back then if I screwed up, I could just rat out my parents to protective services.
145: "We want a holiday too and if we put it near the Americans' holiday, we will have time to go over the border and hit their sales."
On the baby thing: my grandma just informed me I can no longer use the name "Julius" (a paternal grandpappy) for any future child of mine, because my uncle just used the name "Julia" (named after Julius) for his newborn daughter. What?! I was going to use it (um, way way eventually) gender-neutrally to boot! Jerks.
My dad snipped off the tip of one of my fingers shortly after birth (truly).
See, I turned out just fine.
ahem.
152: Gah. My brother and my best friend from high school both stole my best-ever baby idea name. It's probably for the best, since I wasn't gonna use it anyway. But it is sort of awkward that both of them used it.
That sucks, Stanley. You could, way eventually, use "Brutus."
152: Use Orange instead. Then you can come back from prison on parole years later and tell him how you arrived at that name in an intense father-son conversation. [cf. He Got Game]
Congratulations, Cala, on your new nephew!
When I was about 8 years old, my mother taught me how to change the baby's diapers. Disposable diapers with sticky tape were still an American novelty item that we marvelled at but couldn't yet buy at the store, so we're talking cloth diapers with diaper pins ... And my mother taught me how to put my middle finger precisely behind the pin while closing it, so that if anyone's flesh got pricked, it would be your own... But one time I lost focus or something, and jabbed my baby sister with the pin, and she objected quite strenuously and cried so much that it made me feel quite awful...
Cutting my own baby's fingernails was as child's play after that childhood incident. But baby's fingernails grow too quickly, and it's a source of stress to new parents to deal with that.
156: Orange you glad I didn't name you Banana?
"Orange" and "Brutus" are both hilarious suggestions. I'll remember them. Way eventually. When my family disowns me for using "Julius" anyway.
I tried devising all sorts of creation myths about how my parents came up with my name, pulling from pop songs, novels, historical figures, etc. But it turns out they just chose it because they liked it. It was a really popular name in the late 70's, and there ended up being three of me in my fifth-grade class. On the upside, every time we went to a store that had those little doodads with kids' names on them, like keychains and stuff, it was sort of nice to see my own name among them.
160: My name is so nondescript that I've been accused of using an alias. We determined that though he's probably doomed to bad vision and both genetic and environmentally determined dorkiness, at least his name will be very nearly one-to-one.
On the upside, every time we went to a store that had those little doodads with kids' names on them, like keychains and stuff, it was sort of nice to see my own name among them.
Rub it in, anti-Semite.
Also, per Mary Catherine's 157, nibbling really does work. Plus, for an inveterate nail chewer/cuticle tearer like me, it's a kind of instant gratification (just bringing us back on topic).
Hey, this is kind of related to self-control: An update on that guy who threatens the people around him into shutting up while he's riding the train.
Basically, he was taken to court, but got off.
163: Sorry, Ari. I don't have the will power to stay on-topic.
160: I'm pretty sure my parents never agonized, or even gave it that much thought. They just named me, their first-born daughter, after my father's mother. Easy-peasy! if unimaginative...
Whoa, I just finally saw the video attached to the song my mother finally admitted might have had something to do with my (similar) first and middle names, and it is, like, rilly trippy.
Temple?
Did the Messiah show up? If so, nobody told me.
160: My sisters all have a name that is very popular for their year of birth. My mother says she knew that and that was part of the appeal. (I got the name she had wanted to name a little girl since she was an eighth grader. Eighth grade! It's a good thing my mother wasn't a nerd, or else I'd be Raven Skylar Galadhriel or something.)
165: No problem. I wouldn't want you to delay the gratification you derive from pulling us off topic.
people far less capable than you (well, really your wife)
Totally sexist.
It's weird, I do not think I would like to nibble baby fingernails. Perhaps an emory board (but really, I've always used the clippers and just been careful and it's been fine). And cloth diapers with pins are pretty easy too, though perhaps not for 8 year olds.
for an inveterate nail chewer/cuticle tearer like me, it's a kind of instant gratification
Jesus Christ, Ari, not to pass judgment or anything (which I'm told we're not supposed to do, nowadays, on the blogs), but that's a bit interesting, I guess, and what would Budge McFarland say? Just asking, is all I'm saying.
Also, congrats! (I realized I hadn't said that yet.)
I don't remember anything about finger-nails - I don't remember anything at all about being a baby - but apparently for my sister and I my mom sometimes pre-chewed our food.
Oh, and congratulations Cala! Aunthood is the best.
PK's middle names are for Mr. B.'s father (who died shortly before PK was born, so his name got thrown in there as a second middle name) and for me. ORIGINALLY his middle name was supposed to be a simple anagram of my own first name + last initial, but NOOOOO Mr. B. had to insist on the german spelling. Bastard. I should probably go have it legally changed.
Not really related to self-control, the NYT has a neat interactive explanation of the Monty Hall brainteaser.
This puzzle calls up bitter memories for me. Almost 20 years ago, I posed it to a managing director at the investment bank where I was a summer college intern. When I told him his answer was wrong (he said your odds of winning are 50-50 if you switch doors), he proceeded to browbeat me into conceding that he was actually right, through a mix of yelling, threatening, and invoking the authority of his master's degree in mathematics.
I lacked the guts and confidence to withstand his assault then, but it makes me feel good to think that every now and then he sees an explanation of the problem like this one in the Times, and realizes what a dumbass he was. (For good measure, his bank got taken over a long time ago, and he almost certainly lost his job in the post-merger streamlining.)
I remember one of my sisters as an infant wore little mittens to keep her from scratching her face.
Accidentally hurting a baby is awful, because they howl, and that little howl sounds so betrayed.
A selfish rapist walks into a philosophy class. On his left is a hot young thing in sexy attire, on his right a young boy is prepped for surgery, and needs some bone marrow, STAT. Our selfish rapist is a near perfect match.
He has only enough willpower to resist performing one evil deed......
...but wait! There's Chuck Norris with a tall, cool glass of lemonade! Good deeds shall be done!
The evil analytical philosopher and his mind-bending ethical dilemma's are vanquished. Hooray for Chuck Norris.
For the Kiwi sheep among the commentariat, you might avoid naming your child Sean. But if not, there's not anything wrong with that.
apparently for my sister and I my mom sometimes pre-chewed our food
What, were you raised by vultures?
167: That's trippy! God, my parents were so old-fashioned.
But at least they didn't name me after a shrine, or a female holy order.
Celestina Loreto is a name held by more than one unfortunate female in my family tree. Bridget Loreto is even more common...
173: If anyone is going to pass judgment on me, Mary Catherine, I would hope it would be you. And honestly, the fingernail nibbling thing, though I can't stop doing it to myself, grosses me out when applied to the kids. But it does mean that I don't have to use the clippers. Emory boards, as B suggests, are another option. But with my teeth, I always thought that I knew if I was getting too close to skin. All of which is to say, this is totally disgusting. I'd like to be banned now.
Further 182 (or whatever house style demands in such situations): Also, you're just not allowed to pass judgment on me for my pro-torture politics and racism. On my past history of biting my kids nails, I think you're on firmer ethical footing. Judge away!
183: You plagiarized B's misspelling of emery. Kiss your academic career goodbye. (Of course I have no standing, I am presuming that the appropriate committee at your institution will file all of the correct forms in triplicate and faithfully execute the correct procedures.)
People think biting a baby's nails is gross? Remember, there's worse.
184: Actually, it's not a typo in Ari's case. Notice the capitalization. He gets these guys to cut his kid's nails. It's how they convinced him to stop nailing undergrads on their desks after he got tenure.
186: Again, I teach at the UC. If I want to nail anyone on any piece of UC-owned furniture, there are appropriate forms to fill out. By the time I've filed the necessary paperwork, the mood has usually passed. This is how procedural liberalism protects the youth of today.
Emory, whatever.
Re. the link in 185, I was gleefully upsetting my husband yesterday over dinner by asking him, if he were given a choice between a relatively simple sucking-the-eyeball-out-of-his-child's-head-by-mouth procedure, and an imaginary Very Complicated and Scarring Surgery to remove said child's eye, which would he choose?
This was prompted by the *child's menu* at Chili's (yes I know, leave me alone) which had a "heartwarming"? corporate charity story about an employee's toddler who had EYE CANCER and whose EYE WAS REMOVED and who is "doing fine now."
Thank god PK was too busy drawing a complicated picture of a mouse avatar (as in the kids' show, not the broader use of the term) on a different page, and did not read the uplifting pre-meal news story about TODDLERS WITH EYE CANCER.
I admire the man who peed on his son's mouth to free his tongue from a frozen metal pole.
Would it be bad if I didn't ever warn my children about the dangers of licking metal poles so that I would have the opportunity to perform such heroics?
Also, from the Book of Stupid Questions: Would you rather slide down a razor blade into a vat of turpentine or drink a bucket of monkey snot?
Also, from the Book of Stupid Questions: Would you rather slide down a razor blade into a vat of turpentine or drink a bucket of monkey snot?
Can I slide down the broad side of the razor blade, or do I have to slide down the edge?
I've always assumed that if you decide to have children, you decide for grossness, and chewing others' fingernails will be the least of your problems.
Stanley needs to use Gaius. That'll show 'em.
189: One of the most cringe inducing stories I ever heard was the (probably apocryphal) method that the Inuit used for killing wolves, secure a very sharp knife by the handle, coat in fat/blood/something tasty in wolfworld, the wolf comes and licks it and continues licking up the blood from his own tongue and eventually bleeds to death. Just the mental image of licking a very sharp blade gives me an almost physical involuntary shudder.
I've heard that they also put spikes inside hunks of meat or fat, and then after the bear eats it track it by following its bloody feces.
I've heard they killed Christ.
they killed Christ.
Walt Someguy is a Mormon, too?
This is a Mormon blog, Knecht. We tolerate you because we expect to convert you any day now.
Even if you don't we'll baptize you when you're dead. Might as well join the party.