And a milk-fed lamb. As with the tuna, one wonders: the whole thing?
I'm amused at the juxtaposition of three ice-creams with seventy-five cheeses. A man after my own stomach (fuck ice-creams!)—until he admits consuming four Guinnesses. Four?! That's a lifetime's worth of Guinness, minus 3.5.
A milk-fed lamb can be quite tiny, and soft. One could conceivably consume an entire lamb, though the feat might indeed be wondrous.
This man did not fuck around when it came to being french. I'm surprised he condescended to bourbon.
Perhaps it was Bourbon and then an understandable error in translation.
I saw that joke coming just barely after I hit post. It could have been executed better.
Someone should give hypnotizingchickens a fruit basket.
It could have been executed better.
I know, right? Here, let me help:
This man did not fuck around when it came to being french. I'm surprised he condescended to bourbon.
Now have at it.
I thought you were going to sleep, Ari.
Eh... um... Let me rephrase; it could have been better set up. I let you down.
No, Teo, I never sleep. I just wanted to make Yglesias feel better about saying he was going to bed. I try not to shame America's youthful bloggers with my superhuman vigor.
Ok, I got it:
So Georges Perec walks into a bar, and Louis XIV is pouring drinks. Louis says, "What'll it be Georgie?"
Perec says, "I don't know, I'm kinda stressed out tonight, gimme your cheapest whiskey."
So Louis XIV pours him a shot of Jim Beam, and G drinks it, and Louis asks him, "Feeling better, pal?"
Georges says, "I still got a lot of problems on my mind, ya know?", so Louis pours him a shot of Jack.
"Any better, son?", says Louis, but Georges says "Still jittery as hell."
So then Louis IV says "Well, I'd give you the Maker's Mark, but lack of alcohol ain't your problem, boy"
Georges: "Yeah well, what is it, then?"
And then Louis says: "Lack of ease."
the feet I doubt.
They might have been pickled.
Why am I still up? I have to help out in a class of 8 year olds tomorrow. And I've just spent the last two hours typing up a goddamn class newspaper for the brats.
But the brats.are the future! And parent involvement, such as typing up a school newspaper, is all that separates the good schools from the awful morass,
And parent involvement, such as typing up a school newspaper, is all that separates the good schools from the awful morass,
Ah, hc knows the California public schools. Actually, given that final comma, he was probably educated in one of them. Given that, I belive it's safe to say that hc is not Margaret Atwood. And by the way, B, I help out in a classroom filled with five and six year olds on Thursday morning.
Somehow that makes me feel better, Ari. Except for the crack about California public schools.
(If I may just brag on myself for another moment, and who's gonna stop me? the ENTIRE REASON I spent so much time on this particular issue of the class newspaper is because the "feature story" is by the girl who can't read yet, and she's such a nice kid, and actually quite smart, but I think a little neglected and awfully insecure and I wanted to make her story--which was as good as any story any of the other kids have done--REALLY STAND OUT so I spent ages looking for fucking clip art illustrations of the various student pets featured in the story. Because I am INSANE.)
On the down side, I forgot to call the two families that failed to Sign up for Snack in order to try to arrange a Snack Provider for tomorrow, so the kids will all starve.
Sometimes that tuition bill really doesn't seem so bad.
You cut me to the quick, Ari, and my head bows low when I think of my typing. Just because my CA public school volunteering mom didn't do anything for me shouldn't discourage B, however. PK could turn out to be Margaret Atwood. Has he won the Booker? You might want to check under the mattress.
because the "feature story" is by the girl who can't read yet
How's that work? She dictate it or something?
the kids will all starve.
Take heart, at recess the free market will work its magic: snacks sent from home will be either commandeered by the bulkiest or traded for influence. Only the few will actually go hungry.
25: I'm not here often enough to know if you're new, hc. But I am here often enough to think that you are. In which case, the Atwood line was an allusion to Tweety's ongoing efforts to unmask DS, whose identity has become a fetish for some of us. And if I'm right, and you are new, you might not realize that any insults I hurl about anyone else's grammar, spelling, or syntax are surely steeped in irony. For I cannot spell, or gramm, or syn. In other words, I was just kidding.
26: Don't worry about it, I'm not bothered. I suppose I am sort of new. In any case, I'm just amused at your trying to argue with dsquared in the other thread. (hint: you won't win).
27: I suppose not, particularly since I'm not sure what winning looks like in a situation like this. Fortunately, the stakes -- in the argument, not in broader question at hand -- are very, very low.
Wait, I just saw 16. And now I feel terrible for not having expressed my admiration earlier. But, as you've noted, I'm busy having my ass handed to me elsewhere on the blog. Still, very well done.
Keep on it though; I'm just bitter because no one liked my joke.
Ack! Cross-post! I don't need your pity.
Maybe that was a bit harsh. Your pity is duly noted and appreciated. I thought I'd catch a ban for that one, and I may yet.
Perec! He had crazy hair.
Every time I fly I think of his little piece about living for weeks on end in an international airport. (Is it in a single airport or in multiple airports? I can't remember, and some bastard borrowed my Perec book and hasn't given it back.)
Also, I somehow group Perec with Gordon Matta-Clark in my head. I know, it makes no sense. Maybe it's a group of kinda small, cool-as-hell guys from the 70s?
Extraordinary list. I read it and formed four conclusions almost simultaneously, videlicet:
1. I should read more Georges Perec.
2. I should try to eat better. My own inventory would be embarrassingly low quality. No ready-made food on the Perec list. OTOH, very few green vegetables, and a truckload of red meat.
3. Dude drank 183 bottles of wine that year. That's impressive. (I suppose he probably didn't drink them all himself; "one bottle of Beaune 61" was probably drank between a few people at dinner.)
4. I suddenly feel really hungry. Time for lunch.
What does it mean that he ate "one asparagus"? One piece of asparagus, in the entire year?
Oh, looking at the later part of the list, it sounds like it's more "one serving of asparagus."
Dude drank 183 bottles of wine that year. That's impressive
I'm pretty sure I've matched, or at least approached that tally in each of the last four years. And that's despite a 40-day period of abstention each spring.
It's pretty sobering (smirk) to think of all the money I've spent on that particular habit.
1. Rabelais is wonderful.
2. The catalog has become a neglected figure in contemporary literature and that's sort of too bad. (Unless I should write an article on the US Weekly listicle as heir to the Catalog of Ships.)
This would be as good a thread as any for a small and easily accomodated bleg.
I am hosting a dinner party on Saturday for some work people, and I still haven't figured out what I will serve for a first course. The ideal dish will fulfill the following criteria:
1. Does not need to be made at the last minute
2. Contrasts with the main course (Bœuf à la bourguignonne)
3. Is homemade (i.e. no ready-bake mini quiches from Costco)
Fleur has counseled against my original idea, which was to make a terrine of poultry livers, on the grounds that people might find it disgusting and, being my subordinates, feel nonetheless obliged to eat it.
The joke in 16 needs an Archie Shepp soundtrack.
Dude drank 183 bottles of wine that year. That's impressive
About half a bottle of wine a day? That's only a glass or two of wine at two meals each, daily. My own consumption isn't much less and I'm not even French.
#40. A terrine of poultry livers would be yum! A terrine of gizzards would be disgusting.
I don't follow the punchline to 16 at all. Annotation for the uncultured?
His double Bourbon, Minivet, did him sore disease.
40: yeah I think you'd want to make sure they find it disgusting, otherwise you couldn't really adequately revel in your abuse of power. Fry up some crickets.
I'm pretty sure I've matched, or at least approached that tally in each of the last four years.
Yep, me too. Last night, because our state tax refund arrived and I was feeling rich less broke than usual, we pulled out a 1990 Chateau Montelena estate cab that had been in the cooler for about five years. It was delicious.
46: Nah. I observe the maxim "Don't make enemies on the way up, because you'll need friends on the way down."
48: homemade White Castle sliders, then.
DS, whose identity has become a fetish for some of us
All in due time, DS will be unmasked.
Jenny Davidson posted this essay (?) by Perec on her blog a while ago.
I didn't get it then and I don't get it now.
I'm not sure if it's because I'm a vegetarian or because I'm stupid. Maybe it's because I'm a stupid vegetarian.
The catalog has become a neglected figure in contemporary literature
Blogrolls and media lists from mp3 blogs to Amazon lists.
Perec's Les Choses and La vie:Une mode d'Emploi are both incredibly wonderful, though La Vie's French exceeded my reading ability. It's incredible-- an apartment building, a life, no definite plot, but full of events, with a clear beginning and ending. Donald Knuth liked the book.
Maybe it's a local effect, or maybe I don't know enough, but it seems to me that French wines bought with dollars haven't made much sense for a few years now.
Perec's autobiography is also worth a look.
52: La vie:Une mode d'Emploi
I have been halfway through the English translation for about 5 months now. Not that I didn't like it, I just lost momentum and it is daunting to pick up again, I suspect that I lack willpower.
KR--
How about seared scallops in a brown butter/cayenne sauce, served over a fennel/cabbage slaw. Serve with champagne?
Eh, let me withdraw that-- you would need to make the scallops at the last minute.
Have you considered soup? Depending on the weather, you could do a nice cream of carrot soup with ginger or a nice chilled pea soup with mint.
If you want to do soup, you could do a room temperature fennel soup with orange rind. With little fennel fronds for garnish! So elegant!
The bœuf sounds, while delicious, rich. Maybe something less rich for the appetizer?
Soup is definitely an option. Blume, do you have a recipe for the fennel soup?
I might also fall back on my old standby of celery root soup garnished with croutons and lardons.
Some nice person got me Life a User's Manual for my birthday.
This just occurred to me: until he admits consuming four Guinnesses. Four?! That's a lifetime's worth of Guinness, minus 3.5.
A lifetime's worth of Guinness is 7.5 Guinnesses?
2. The catalog has become a neglected figure in contemporary literature and that's sort of too bad. (Unless I should write an article on the US Weekly listicle as heir to the Catalog of Ships.)
I have here an advance of The List: The Uses and Pleasures of Cataloguing by Robert Belknap, with chapters on lists in Emerson (p 000), Whitman (000), Melville (000) and Thoreau (000) and one on "The Literary List" in general (000), all topped off by a List of Literary Lists.
What about a small quiche? Or a vegetable terrine? God, I love vegetable terrines.
64: followed by pudding, and finished off with an aspic.
To drink: crackers.
I'm contemplating making a tarte à l'oignon and serving lukewarm with a nice cold Mosel Riesling.
Is the appetizer/first course necessarily sit-down, or could it be more of a with-cocktails snack? Some kind of smoked/cured fish with a dill/creme fraiche dip would work for the latter. Julia Child has a pretty good gravlax recipe.
Julia Child has a pretty good gravlax recipe.
And that's not a euphemism.
I have here a recipe for tarte tatin aux endives. Not sure how not-rich it is, though.
64--depends on your implementation of the BB. I've done it with large chunks of meat and minimal served veg (several sources reccomend discarding the braising vegetables, similar to what one does with stock), such that it's essentially braised beef in an intense, meaty red wine sauce.
Oh, well, in that case.
I still think the endive tart is the way to go.
Soup followed by stew?
Yes, I had considered that, but the bœuf à la bourguignonne has more the character of a meat with sauce than a stew (i.e. the liquid is strained and thickened, and the side dishes are cooked separately).
Is the appetizer/first course necessarily sit-down, or could it be more of a with-cocktails snack?
A first-course at the table. There will be an amuse-gueule of gougères before dinner. (This also means the oven will be in use in the minutes immediately preceding the arrival of the guests.)
67: Quiche with caramelized onion, anchovies, and stilton?
Quiche and stilton, Chopper's idea of less rich.
This week I'm determined to make labskaus for breakfast.
Robert Hass's song My Mother's Nipples gives good list.
72: Is it really asparagus season yet? I don't knw where KR is, but if it asparagus season in his neck of the woods, this is a really nice way to go. Especially if you grill/char the asparagus. A local restaurant does this with an out of this world Mahon sauce.
I do like the aparagus idea! You could even make an aparagus quiche!
76: Ah, but the quiche lets you serve a sparkling wine to cleanse the palate. As long as portion size is small, you shouldn't be too weighed down.
an out of this world Mahon sauce
"mahon sauce" = mayonnaise?
Asparagus is a promising idea. It's not really in season yet in New England, but the California product will be OK at this time of year.
labskaus
dat would be "lob scouse", wack.
La Vie: Mode d'Emploi is a great book but it does go on a bit - frankly, halfway through you find yourself wishing that someone would come along witha wrecking ball and get rid of a couple of fucking storeys of that building.
Although come to think of it, if you served the asparagus cold, a nice homemade mayonaisse might be just the thing.
halfway through you find yourself wishing that someone would come along witha wrecking ball lever
I just had another idea. The restaurant Le Grand Colbert in Paris serves an outstanding salade de haricots verts et foie gras that I think I could replicate. If I go with a small morsel of foie gras for each guest, that should preserve their appetites for subsequent courses.
Thanks for the advice, all. You have supplied some good ideas.
KR -- Maybe just des haricots verts? Foie gras + BB seems de trop to me, but what do I know, as I too am a stupid vegetarian.
My favorite catalog is Hesiod's (fragmentary) Catalog of Women. And if one Googles "Catalog of Women," one actually gets catalogs . . . of women!
I also think foie gras is not a good complement to the boeuf. Also is it not a bit fussy and over-the-top for a relaxed home dinner? I think yes.
Just be sure to let the foie warm up to room temperature before serving. I had a foie gras appetiizer at Craft in February that was served chilled. It was like eating a stick of butter.
The latter part of 91 does nothing to confirm the former part.
Is a stick of butter, full stop, not an option? Or, in service of preserving appetites, perhaps just half a stick? Or even only a quarter?
I got through about a third of Les Choses, scratched my head at all the references to furniture and shit, and decided I didn't really care. Seemed like the author was determined to follow up on all of the most boring strands of Flaubert.
Footnote to food thread: I've just returned from buying my first cherimoya. $2.99/lb.
That had better be some delicious fruit.
BG is a frugal yankee. Ogged paid $6/lb or something.
May your cherimoya be less disappointing than my first mangosteen last summer, Jesus.
98: Oooh. You had a mangosteen! Where?
In Germany. It was alright. A little slimy. Though I'm willing to believe that a mangosteen eaten in a place to which they are native might be a totally different experience.
98: That's what I'm dearly hoping, but I think if it's not all that, I can make a smoothie with it.
BG, a quick search shows that Unfogged commenters have seen cherimoyas as costly as $8/lb. It would probably be helpful if there were a widget—the Unfogged Cherimoya Price Tracker, or some such—that a person could install in Dashboard.
93: Is a stick of butter, full stop, not an option? Or, in service of preserving appetites, perhaps just half a stick? Or even only a quarter?
A number of years back I read a piece by an outdoor writer on his most "profound" moments in his travels. One of them was his first meal after he had come back from an extended trip in the backcountry without any fatty foods. He was cooking with butter, found himself with a massive craving for it and ended up blissfully wolfing down the whole stick by itself.
At some friends' wedding reception, another (perhaps rather stoned) friend congratulated the bride's mother on the lovely cheese. Yes, she was slicing off chunks of butter.
tunas: feminine, plural, accusative, direct object of "ate".
100: Mangosteens are slightly slimy, so you may just not like the texture at all. They're still my favorite fruit though, probably because I so rarely get to have them.
Even in the southeast Asian countries where they're native, it's a short season when they're available relative to most other fruits.
Someone is obviously lying in one of the comments 26-32, unless an old joke has been reborn anew. Since I'm not sure why they'd be lying, I won't say more about this.