"in rear" would have been funnier.

Edwin Meese is, in fact, STILL ALIVE!

So I suggest we get a pool going on whether this blog or Edwin Meese will die first.

max
['Also, someone should spray-painted, 'Only for Camille Paglia' below the sign.']

An "Enter in Rear" joke, Ogged? I'll stick to my "All Will Ferrell" torrent.

So y'all can't handle my mordant wit either, eh?

So y'all can't handle my mordant rancid, asexual creampuff wit either, eh?

I don't know, try us.

Here, I've got a joke for you guys that's actually somewhat clever and original.

As I said in the other thread, earlier I feared PK had scalded himself. He hadn't; he'd merely fallen.

Later, once he'd recovered, he said to me, "so you thought I had a PhD burn?"

Me: . . . a what??

PK: You know, a PhD burn. First, second, third degree.

That's exceedingly clever. He's doomed to a life of misery.

Misereeeeeee!

9: Helium! That's funny, B. Turns out you're not humorless after all.

10: In the kingdom of "Rear Entry" humor, a one-joke woman will be queen.

10: Well, at least the offspring isn't

"Kids say the darnedest things!" is a much better humour subject than "Oooh missus, look at the double entendre on that official sign!". So ...

Me, in one of my spasmodic fits of trying to do dad stuff: Watch this, Napoleon Adolf, a real miracle! See this ordinary chocolate coin! Behold this ordinary hat! ...

Little NA, not even looking up from his colouring book: It's in your other hand, Daddy. It's always in your other hand. Or it's up your sleeve. I don't care. Can I have the chocolate please?

That boy, as I have mentioned, is going to be all right.

(I swear that I have not changed one single word of his dialogue there.)

You want funny? Try Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell in an old Dana Carvey Show clip.

A notorious local cathouse had a "Parking in Rear" sign prominently placed on its front façade. If I could ever have worked up the energy to set down the bong in my collegeeee years, an "a" would have become an "o."

15: One of the classier redneck bars in my old neck of the woods sold tee-shirts emblazoned with "[Name of bar]: Liquor in the Front, Poker in the Rear"

OT:

Jack Balkin (against Ambinder) explains why American war crimes prosecutions are unlikely. Procedural liberalism does not stop Americans from committing war crimes, but does stop us from prosecuting our own war criminals. Thus, there will be no way for us to convince the rest of the world that the U.S. isn't just a war criminal nation.

You may return to your previously scheduled wankery.

A notorious local cathouse had a "Parking in Rear" sign

This is a standard design convention for houses of ill-repute. Customers don't want their vehicles and license plates to be visible from the street.

There is, of course, the canonical good advice.

17: See, that's a total downer. Balkin can't expect to get decent traffic if he's going to be all depressing all the time.

Like, you know what's not a downer? This fucking amazing lobster-brie risotto I'm having for breakfast. With pan-seared sea scallops. Sweet Jesus, I'm enjoying this civilization for as long as it lasts.

Overfishing is laying waste to the biosphere, JRoth.

23: Maine lobsters are, in fact, booming because all of their upstream predators have been overfished into near-local-extinction. Scallops are highly amenable to aquaculture, with whatever problems that may cause.

But I think JRoth should be allowed his small pleasures, since eating that way will have him dead by 40.

Your concern has warmed my heart.

Actually, I'm just still basking in the afterglow of that food. Stuffy, Old-School Fancy Downtown Restaurant Makes Good, says I.

JRoth, that sounds delicious.

God, but I love scallops.

Cala, it was The Carlton. Never would have thought to go, but it was really superb. A couple of tiny flaws magnified by the extraordinary prices, but plainly one of the best meals* we've had.

* Price-independent, Snooty Food category.

The strip club across the street from my office has a big sign on the front door that says "Try our discreet rear entrance." I don't think there's any other reason for anyone to be in the alley behind the building, so it doesn't seem all that discreet to me.

The Jiffy Lube in Berkeley used to have a ginormous "ENTER IN REAR" banner hanging on it. Helpful arrow and everything.