Re: Not A Question Of If But When

1

Beautiful.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 5:43 PM
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Well if you don't want to risk mixing them up you could bring your own parmesan dispenser...


Posted by: Doug | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 5:44 PM
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I don't want to be a pain, but I asked for no whipped cream on my venti latte parmigiano.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 5:46 PM
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J'accuse!

Becks is abusing her front page posting privileges by posting items that more properly belong as comments in another thread. If they can't be shoehorned into a topical thread, they should be bracketed by the || & |> symbols and posted as comments. I denounce this post for solipsism, want of comment fecundity, and want of cock joke potential.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 5:52 PM
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KR clearly hasn't thought through just what goes into that cheesy froth.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 5:54 PM
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I don't want to be a pain, but I asked for no whipped cream on my venti latte parmigiano.

If you guys hadn't picked up on this by now, ever since the famous 3-hour company-wide training session at Starbucks, where the new "back to basics" gospel was preached, Starbucks has been awfully profligate with free beverage vouchers as compensation for the slightest miscues. All it takes is a complaint that the caramel syrup was not centered properly on the foam, and bingo, you've got yourself a coupon. Don't hold back!


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 5:55 PM
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5: my plane is about to take off, so I can't post a link, but try googling "Eichelkaese".


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 5:56 PM
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I feel like that would make my barista sad, and so I would hold back.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 5:56 PM
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||

By popular* request, my old, melanin-deficient Blues from Wrongshore mix. Track list here.

* for "popular" read "Merganser's".

|>


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 5:58 PM
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Pacing!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 6:04 PM
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@7
DO NOT google that word no matter how much you are tempted. Trust me on that one.
It emphatically does not refer to cheese made of acorns (would cheese made of acorns be even possible?).


Posted by: Tiny Hermaphrodite | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 6:07 PM
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7: That comment is the eighth hit for it, and the first seven aren't helpful.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 6:08 PM
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Starbucks has been awfully profligate with free beverage vouchers as compensation for the slightest miscues.

I got one the other day because the woman who took my order forgot to pass along a cup to the barista, and I had to wait a few minutes before I realized and said, "uh, I don't think you have a cup for me, but I ordered a big-ass latte?" Next time my big-ass latte is free! W00t!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 6:15 PM
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It's just smegma, right?


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 6:15 PM
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Ok, this instant indexing thing is getting a little strange.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 6:17 PM
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Ok, this instant indexing thing is getting a little strange.

I know we have at least one googleplex reader, though IIRC he was in ad sales (and I don't need to RC 'cause I have his card, come to think of it). Maybe we can get a little light shed.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 6:43 PM
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I don't get unfogged in the first page of Eichelkäse results.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 6:44 PM
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I've never understood how anyone could eat grated parmesan. It smells exactly like vomit.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 6:44 PM
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It's probably because I'm logged in, then.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 6:44 PM
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Becks is abusing her front page posting privileges by posting items that more properly belong as comments in another thread.

But the genius of the post lies in the juxtaposition of body and title. It's a little like You Can Count Me in that regard.


Posted by: Zippy | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 6:47 PM
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I am unwise to the ways of the world. Why would there be a parmesan dispenser at a coffee place at all? Do they do pizza or pasta at later times of the day?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 6:57 PM
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17: I do.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 6:59 PM
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15: Yes I've noticed some extremely fast ones lately. Right now this is the #1 result for profligate beverage vouchers (no quotes).


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 7:00 PM
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Your vomit smells like parmesan cheese? You might want to see a gastroenterologist.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 7:01 PM
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Has the hoohole closed, too?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 7:02 PM
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Becks is abusing her front page posting privileges by posting items that more properly belong as comments in another thread.

Balder-fucking-dash.

If they can't be shoehorned into a topical thread, they should be bracketed by the || & |> symbols and posted as comments.

Knecht Ruprecht is banned!


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 7:20 PM
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Apparently the hoohole is still wide open.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 7:28 PM
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Has anyone ever mistaken Egg Beaters for orange juice? I really hope so.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 7:28 PM
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I watched my mom brush her teeth with foot fungus cream once. I got in a lot of trouble for not warning her.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 7:37 PM
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Your vomit smells like parmesan cheese? You might want to see a gastroenterologist open an Italian restaurant.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 7:48 PM
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No, it's true; there is sometimes an odor of vomitus to Parmesan.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 7:53 PM
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9: Thanks, Wrongshore!


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 7:58 PM
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"Bert's Blues" is a great tune.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 8:01 PM
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This place will grind fresh parmesan for you while you wait and it certainly doesn't smell like vomit. (But sometimes parmesan does remind me of that stuff the teachers in elementary school used to sprinkle on vomit.)


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 8:28 PM
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Do people not have graters or something?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 8:32 PM
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While afflicted with a hangover one morning, I started brushing my teeth with shaving gel.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 8:37 PM
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14: Ayup.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 8:40 PM
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I have seen a $1400 block of Parmesan. Imagine how much vomit you could buy for that kind of money.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 8:46 PM
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(But sometimes parmesan does remind me of that stuff the teachers in elementary school used to sprinkle on vomit.)

Sawdust? Man, they age your parmesan waaayyy too long.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 8:48 PM
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38: Or how much smegma.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 8:49 PM
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Do people not have graters or something?

Well, some people are truly puzzled by the question of what type of grater they should have.

I used to (perhaps sensibly, or perhaps naively) think I could get by with an all-purpose grater from Zellers. But I don't mind admitting that the Williams and Sonoma catalogue makes me feel a little bit anxious on this score, even though I try to throw it into the recycling bin without perusing its glossy, tastefully photographed, lifestyle-aspirational pages.

For example, would my life be measurably (or, better yet, immeasurably) improved by the acquisition of one of those dedicated graters that are apparently solely and specifically designed for the handling of parmesan, and related hard cheeses, from Italy? Or should I stick with the 5 dollar gadget that once earned me Club Z points?


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 8:51 PM
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i've tried to have my late supper reading unfogged and all these comments saying vomit are very very inappropriate
coffee and cheese may be ok tasting, cheese'd melt in the hot coffee making it less bitter
but if you add sugar into the mix it'll become undrinkable i imagine


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 8:51 PM
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40: Not much, probably, when you think about it. Produced in small quantities, difficult to source—more like ambergris, except probably less useful in the making of perfume.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 8:56 PM
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41: It depends, naturally, on whether you'd have an extra cabinet to store your parmesan-only grater, so the other kitchen gadgets do not get ideas above their station.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 8:58 PM
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41: The regular grater is fine.

I confess, though, that I kind of want a mandoline.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:01 PM
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Both vomit and parmesan have butyric acid, as does Kombucha. Thus the similar smells.


Posted by: Amber | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:07 PM
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It depends, naturally, on whether you'd have an extra cabinet to store your parmesan-only grater

Christ, I'd give up a limb in exchange for an extra cabinet. Or even for a reasonably-sized cabinet in the first place.

So: cheap, all-purpose grater will have to do. Problem solved!

I'm intrigued by the mandoline, but I'd probably slice off my thumb or something.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:10 PM
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43: JMcQ has obviously never worn "Brut, by Faberge".


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:13 PM
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46: Vindicated! I knew there was some reason like this for it.

47: I only want the mandoline because I made a shaker lemon pie recently and thought, "dang, a mandoline would be handy." I then, of course, came up with twenty other reasons why I "need" one, and the next time Mr. B. went to Target I asked him to buy me one. He came back and said they were $50, and I decided that having lived without one for this long, I can continue to do so.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:18 PM
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i've tried to have my late supper reading unfogged and all these comments saying vomit are very very inappropriate

read speaks the truth. And smegma. That doesn't help either.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:23 PM
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49: a sensible decision, B. A sharp knife is better than a cheap mandolin, and a good one (hint: not from Target) will be closer to 100 bucks. Unless you're making scalloped potatoes for 60, it's superfluous.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:24 PM
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Unfogged has gotten so weak lately. Used to be the time when people knew better than to read it while eating.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:27 PM
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Hey, we may be complaining but we're still reading. Mongols and Canajuns are a tougher breed.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:32 PM
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We have a mandoline (wedding gift), and I've found that by and large, it's not worth using unless I have a lot of things to slice (or want one of the specific shapes) as it's a bit of a pain to clean and a knife is generally faster.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:34 PM
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Cook's Illustrated recently recommended some super-cheap ceramic mandoline, probably made by Kyocera.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:36 PM
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All these comments saying vomit are very very inappropriate

So says the girl who sings the praises of fermented mare's milk.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:38 PM
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Poor wretches, we read; we don't read and retch.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:38 PM
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shouldn't eat while reading unfogged? sorry
now i eat a peach, amplifying my pleasure to browse the internet


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:40 PM
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Peaches make me want to be outside in the sun, not on the internet.

now Cheezits, that's some internet food.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:42 PM
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airag is nothing like vomit, it's really good if served cold in a hot day, like beer i suppose and some beers i even do not find tasty at all, just bitter


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:43 PM
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I could eat a peach for hours.


Posted by: Cameron Poe | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:44 PM
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Peaches, beaches, and white flannel trousers: so 1920s.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:45 PM
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61 should have been me, another shitty character played by Nick Cage.


Posted by: Caster Troy | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:46 PM
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coffee and cheese may be ok tasting, cheese'd melt in the hot coffee making it less bitter

Parmesan is very salty cheese. I don't see that working well.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:47 PM
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The first time my sister made a cake, she mixed up the salt with the sugar. It did not go well.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:49 PM
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64: doesn't navy coffee have salt in it?


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:51 PM
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perhaps, but it shouldn't.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:52 PM
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maybe the best coffee I ever had was served on a silver platter in a pizza restaurant in Chattanooga.

I tasted cardamom.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:53 PM
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i drink tea salty, so probably salty cheese coffee would be ok too, for me
good night


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:53 PM
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Coffee and soy sauce - and idea whose time has come?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:55 PM
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i drink tea salty

And thus our brief moment of intercontinental accord is shattered.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:55 PM
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d


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:56 PM
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70: I'll let you know in a moment.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:56 PM
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Buttered coffee: that'd be swell. Or coffee with schmaltz!


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 9:56 PM
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75

Even Charles Barkley is complaining about the NBA playoff blowouts now.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 10:00 PM
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I assume read drinks something related to Tibetan Butter Tea.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 10:04 PM
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What, has he always been a big proponent of blowouts?

(I refer to your use of "even"


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 10:04 PM
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Hot buttered Irish coffee.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 10:06 PM
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76: That actually sounds pretty fantastic.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 10:10 PM
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)


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 10:11 PM
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use of even


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 10:11 PM
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76, 79: Yeah, it sounds like it could either be great or the rancid taste might just be a bit too much and it would be terrible. I really wish I'd known about it earlier, I would have sought it out in Bhutan. I don't remember seeing it while there.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 10:21 PM
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Bhutan outlawed that stuff when it started tracking Gross National Happiness.

besides, read has no excuse for drinking it in a place where people are not subject to extreme altitudes and risk of severe lip chapping and energy expenditure and cold weather.


Posted by: peter | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 10:23 PM
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it's a bit of a pain to clean

Okay, that's the kiss of death for any kitchen appliance, and is why I don't own a food processor, either. Thanks, Cala!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 10:26 PM
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I'm afraid that acceptance of other cultures has gone too far. That butter tea sounds really truly vile. I hope Read is not offended.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 10:28 PM
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85: That butter tea sounds really truly vile.

You're just saying that because it involves words like "salt" and "cheese" and "rancid." I can see all those flavours combining into something pretty cool, via the Magic of Dairy.

In case Wrongshore reads this thread: really digging that Negro Problem song off the "Bad June" mix, among other things. And not just because of the band name.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 10:36 PM
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82: You went to Bhutan? If you flew into Paro, you are a very very brave man.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 10:39 PM
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There's no other airport in the whole country, that's why all the other airlines refuse to land there.

It was extremely pretty, and kind of freaky, but I'd been prepped by the approach to the old Hong Kong airport, which used to take you BETWEEN SKYSCRAPERS in Kowloon.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 10:48 PM
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87: Holy crap, I was digging my nails into my palms as the plane cleared that last ridge.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 10:51 PM
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DS, send me your email add and I'll send you a few more. They are a great band who deserve more famous.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 10:58 PM
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Well, that's not an offer I'll be passing up; diggity-done.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 10:59 PM
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Technically this post's title should be "Not A Question Of If But Of When".


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 11:05 PM
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87: Heh, I showed that video to Mr. B., who said when we finally spotted the runway "holy fuck!"

It's cool to be able to surprise/impress him with airplane shit--apparently he'd never heard of the airport, even.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 11:05 PM
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93: Yeah, I was watching going "Where the fuck's the runway? Any minute now, I'm ready to see a runway..."


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 11:06 PM
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I was going, "is one of those curvy roads the runway? Obviously not, but..."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 11:08 PM
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Speaking of curvy roads, you should get a load of these.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 11:11 PM
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93: That's because he is undoubtedly just aware of the thriving metropolis that is Thimphu, which is a mere hour-and-a-half drive from the one airport in the country on a one-and-a-half-lane road carved about half way up (ooo... 200-600 feet, depending on where you are) a vertiginous ridge that runs most of the way between the two valley cities. On that raod, on several occasions, one has to pull around extremely wide trucks carrying lumber, so your tiny van has to get within a few inches of the edge of a road with no guardrail and only a couple foot-high cement posts between you and a very scenic death... Yeah, that makes the plane ride in and out seem like even more of a cakewalk.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 11:19 PM
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Speaking of curvy roads, you should get a load of these.

Wow. I thought I had a pretty high tolerance for motorcycle travel on "risky" roads, but that one in Bolivia is pretty damn sketchy, even without the heavy truck traffic. Didn't some American mountain bike tourists just die on it in the last few days?

Those ones in Italy and Norway are amazing, though.


Posted by: water moccasin | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 11:19 PM
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Bhutan looks lovely, but wow.

Altitude sickness is an acute problem for trekkers. Almost all of the designated treks go above 3000 m (9843 feet).

Looks like getting into the airport is just the beginning of the fun.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 11:20 PM
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96: Holy shit. That tourist "hiking path" in China makes me want to cry just looking at the pictures.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 11:28 PM
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96: Yeah, the one on the third page that's the road between Nepal and Tibet, that looks almost exactly like the main Bhutanese road that runs from Paro to Thimphu. It's a really freaky thing to be on, but at least it was mostly paved sometime back in the 70s or 80s. If it was still dirt and gravel, it would be truly horrifying.

99: Yeah, it's not until you get into the foothills in the very south of the country that it gets down as close to sealevel as Denver. Even Paro and Thimphu are both around 7500 feet above sealevel. Most people not used to the elevation have trouble even climbing the stairs too quickly when they first arrive.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 11:29 PM
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Those ones in Italy and Norway are amazing, though.

This is a photo of one of the roads listed in Italy... taken 6 days ago. Guess Magpie and I won't be taking that particular pass.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 11:39 PM
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98: Hadn't heard about the American cyclists, but I'm not surprised. I traveled down the Karakoram Highway, a few parts of which resemble the Bolivian road, on an overnight minibus. In places there were wrecked cars and trucks down in the valley; at one point on a gravel stretch, a stream was pouring across the road, and the driver tried to barrel through it and got stuck, so the half-dozen or so passengers had to get out and push. This was in the middle of the night, so all I could see in the van's lights was the mountain wall on one side, and on the other, the abyss. I was young and oblivious then, but now I wouldn't know whether to shit or go blind. Just the memory of it gives me the chills.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 11:43 PM
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In California that'd be cleared overnight!

Are you all doing a motorcycle tour?


Posted by: water moccasin | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 11:43 PM
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Ha! Magpie absolutely refuses to pillion, even when I offered to take her just around the block to see if she'd like it. So no bike tour, but probably the next best thing.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 11:47 PM
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AP Report about the cyclists, with the added tidbit that a new highway was opened in 2007.


Posted by: water moccasin | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 11:51 PM
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At least one of those Norway roads is heavily touristed. It's nice, but doesn't feel dangerous at all.

Same with one of the Taiwan roads, although in that case, it was probably dangerous at one point when it was a through road, but an earthquake closed it a few miles above the gorge that all the tour buses visit a few years ago. One of the interesting things about Taiwan roads is that they've been modernized within the last few decades and you can see the remains of the old roads in various places - often going around cliffs and doing other crazy things they no longer do.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 11:53 PM
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Jesus. Why the fuck would you go biking on that road? Just seeing video from it (one of the "educational" channels had an hourlong special on it a while back) skeeves me out.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 11:53 PM
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As a child and a youth, I was vehemently in agreement with the idea that grated mass-produced parmesan smelled and tasted like puke. Horrible stuff. Eventually I found real parmesan and was astounded to discover it tasted good.

I ordered a big-ass latte?" Next time my big-ass latte is free!

Big ass latte...has Starbucks finally broken the 1000 calorie coffee barrier?



Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 04-24-08 11:55 PM
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Jesus. Why the fuck would you go biking on that road? Just seeing video from it (one of the "educational" channels had an hourlong special on it a while back) skeeves me out.

You feel your life lacks excitement? Your risk assessment ability is amazingly poor? I can see that there's a bit of a continuum, so am a bit hesitant to call it outright dumb, but...

The European Delivery sounds like a hoot. Good luck! Too bad about the dollar.


Posted by: water moccasin | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 12:00 AM
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Seriously, after looking through all the "worst roads" posts, I now feel distinctly ill. Shit, I get antsy just driving down the PCH, dammit.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 12:01 AM
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I can see that there's a bit of a continuum, so am a bit hesitant to call it outright dumb, but...

Yeah, "why the fuck would you ride a motorcycle?" Still.

Too bad about the dollar.

No kidding. Headlines you don't want to see when planning a trip: DOLLAR HITS ALL-TIME LOW AGAINST EURO. At least I'm paying for the car in dollars, not euros.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 12:03 AM
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Shit, I get antsy just driving down the PCH, dammit.

What about Highway 1?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 12:04 AM
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Shit, I get antsy just driving down the PCH, dammit

CA 1 through Big Sur and north of San Francisco is absolutely gorgeous. It's one of the best roads ever created. I say this in absolute seriousness.


Posted by: water moccasin | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 12:07 AM
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No kidding. Headlines you don't want to see when planning a trip: DOLLAR HITS ALL-TIME LOW AGAINST EURO.

And yet Amsterdam is positively crawling with American tourists at the moment, mostly young fratboy and girl looking rich kids; did the colleges have an early spring break or something?


Posted by: Martin Wisse | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 12:40 AM
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Produced in small quantities, difficult to source
Scientists testing the carcinogenicity of smegma got it from horses, partly because it was "available in prodigious quantities." (See under 'animal testing'.)


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 1:10 AM
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117

More here.


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 1:12 AM
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118

another shitty character played by Nick Cage

I watched Ghost Rider with the kids this week, and it was hilarious. Terrible, but hilarious. We loved it when Lee Scoresby turned up. Anyway, I was wondering what was the last film Nicholas Cage did that wasn't total bollocks? Anything more recent than Raising Arizona?


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 1:47 AM
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¦¦
Nothing to do with the above, but here's a classic for lovers of advice columns.
¦>


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 2:48 AM
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I wasn't able to bring myself to watch Ghost Rider. I went and saw Next when it was in the theatres. I guess I've seen worse, but holy christ did Cage look bad in that movie. Could him getting Jessica Biel been any less plausible?


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 2:52 AM
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I was wondering what was the last film Nicholas Cage did that wasn't total bollocks? Anything more recent than Raising Arizona?

The Rock was entertaining, but I think that was despite Nicolas Cage rather than because of him.

Bringing two subthreads together, Captain Corelli would definitely have been better with a sharp knife than a mandolin.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 3:07 AM
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118: Adaptation and Lord of War are both excellent recent Cage films, and to his credit I couldn't see anyone else pulling off the gun-runner role in the latter film as well as he did. Cage just has the requisite smarminess. The Weather Man wasn't so hot but certainly a cut above his action films.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 3:25 AM
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(I guess Adaptation is a stretch for "recent," but it's post-millennial so I think it counts.)


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 3:30 AM
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re: 121

Con Air, is, I think, a work of genius. It's the climax of the whole Simpson/Bruckheimer madness.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 3:33 AM
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124: They should have taken Malkovich and Buscemi's characters, handed them over to another director and made a whole other movie about them.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 3:39 AM
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re: 125

Con Air is pretty great, as it is, as a huge dumb movie.

But that other movie would probably be interesting, too.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 3:58 AM
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Friends and colleagues of an animal trainer killed by a performing bear called it a "freak accident" Wednesday and said the 700-pound grizzly should not be put to death. The animal, they said, did not intend to kill the bear expert.

I foresee a long trial. Bear intentionality is an uncharted field, granted that even human intentionality is still up for grabs. Surelt PETA can afford a few analytic philosophers and defense lawyers to save this poor bear. A self-defense argument also might work; WTF would you do if some hippy kept playfully wrestling you? If you were a bear, I mean? Bears do not have a concept of "talking things out".


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 5:03 AM
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I once brought my Milanese ex a half kilo of really good parmesan, nicely packaged in a gift bag with a bow, as a peace offering after I did something really toolish. She was absolutely not in a forgiving mood, but I could tell that she really wanted the cheese. In the end, she grabbed the cheese and stormed out, saying "The cheese is guilty of nothing."

A day or two later, I was sitting in a cafe talking with someone else when the Milanese suddenly approached my table, slammed down the cheese, muttered an epithet at me, and stormed off, to the utter bafflement of my companion. Apparently her pride had won out over her appetite. All the same, she had eaten a good fourth of it.


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 5:33 AM
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109: As a child and a youth, I was vehemently in agreement with the idea that grated mass-produced parmesan smelled and tasted like puke. Horrible stuff.

As a child I was once so overcome by the odor arising from a couple of dozen canisters of Kraft parmesan at a spaghetti luncheon that I was not only unable to eat, but had to be removed from the premises due to nausea and whining. This was at a large extended-family gathering, and my behavior was considered so notable that a skit was produced parodying it. Still, I maintain that Kraft parmesan smells nasty.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 5:42 AM
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Many kinds of cheese smell like bad things. The best gorgonzola I ever had had a whiff of cowbarn. Yoy have to learn to like it.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 5:45 AM
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And yet Amsterdam is positively crawling with American tourists at the moment, mostly young fratboy and girl looking rich kids; did the colleges have an early spring break or something?

To be on break right now would be a pretty late spring break.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 5:52 AM
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128: This is a wonderful story. The picture of her circling the cheese resentfully, cutting little slices and eating them, and then finally deciding, "The cheese is guilty" and slamming it into a bag, is priceless.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 6:29 AM
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132: The satisfaction of having brought a small ray of joy into your day, LB, gives me the strength the carry on commenting.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 6:42 AM
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Best anecdote ever.


Posted by: David Weman | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 7:07 AM
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This Obama in 30 Seconds ad was submitted to MoveOn by the sister-in-law and nephew of a good friend and former coworker of mine. All in all, I found it pretty entertaining.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 7:22 AM
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113: erm, aren't PCH and Highway 1 the same in number?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 9:02 AM
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Ben, weren't you supposed to bring Frege into this?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 9:05 AM
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134: It is great.

I am peculiarly reminded of my favorite Peanuts strip in which Snoopy is overcome with grief at the melting of his friend, the snowman, but still cannot refrain from eating the carrot that was his nose.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 9:07 AM
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Frege and Aristotle are the same in number, but different in being, John.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 9:10 AM
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Frege and the Gottlobs will soon be releasing their first EP.


Posted by: Auto-banned | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 9:14 AM
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"The cheese is guilty of nothing."

So awesome, I just had to repeat it.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 9:35 AM
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Bears do not have a concept of "talking things out".

And you all wonder why my relationships are so short-lived.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 9:38 AM
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Many kinds of cheese smell like bad things. The best gorgonzola I ever had had a whiff of cowbarn. Yoy have to learn to like it.

No, no, no, no. The stench of Kraft grated parmesan has nothing to do with the funky biological smell of a great cheese.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 9:39 AM
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AWB, I don't think that the "I'm just a bear, I didn't mean anything by it" defense will work for you if a dead guy in your bed.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 9:44 AM
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Daycare supervisor: "Use your words, Bear!"

Bear: "????"


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 9:47 AM
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I don't think that the "I'm just a bear, I didn't mean anything by it" defense will work for you if a dead guy in your bed.

That's right. It's not enough to prove you are insane; you have to prove that your insanity left you unable to appreciate the criminality of your actions. Maybe if you argued that you are a polar bear driven by uncontrolllable carnivorous instincts...


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 9:48 AM
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Many kinds of cheese smell like bad things.

Hence the phrase, "le pied de Dieu."


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 9:50 AM
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I've never gotten Lord of War fandom, but I also can't remember my own critique of the movie right now. Also, by discussing Ghost Rider and Nicholas Cage, unfogged is eating itself.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 9:51 AM
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120 - well, I certainly wouldn't have paid to watch it, but when it was on telly, I Sky+ed it, thinking the kids might like it. Lots of motorbike stunts, which is always entertaining.

122 - thanks, I'll look out for them, for next time I have an urge to see Nic Cage's gurning face and hear his stupid voice.

124 - Con Air is indeed fantastic, but undeniably also total bollocks.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 9:53 AM
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Wild at Heart counts as an excellent Nicholas Cage film. Valley Girl isn't bad, either. Are we not counting his early work?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 9:55 AM
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Well, I was trying to work out when he stopped being ok, and turned shit. A while back, I think.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 9:57 AM
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Are we not counting his early work?

If we are, I'll put in a word for Birdy, with the caveat that the ending is focus-grouped bollocks. If you hit stop 30 seconds before the end, it's a nice piece of work.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 10:02 AM
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On the topic of Nicholas Cage (and also tying in with the post title), I'm surprised no one in Hollywood has yet thought of casting him as Bobby Fischer.

Seriously, when I saw that video, that was the first thing that came into my mind.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 10:14 AM
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erm, aren't PCH and Highway 1 the same in number?

We've had this discussion before.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 10:34 AM
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152: Birdy was awesome. I liked the very last line in the film, though I'll agree with you that what leads up to it kinda sucked.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 10:35 AM
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154: actually, that discussion seems to be about using articles before numbers.

Anyway, I'm right, and PCH names a subsection of Highway 1.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 10:51 AM
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This is the movie thread now, right? I'm strangely disappointed to learn that Danny Leiner didn't direct the Harold & Kumar sequel, as it lowers the chances of it being good.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 10:55 AM
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Anyway, I'm right, and PCH names a subsection of Highway 1.

Except that no self-respecting Sureño would ever refer to it as "Highway 1". CalTrans is irrelevant for the purposes of this conversation.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 11:21 AM
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am -ing, on
i'm afraid it's a little early for me to try to interact RT
about strange tasting teas, i remember i got quite a shock when opened first the arizona green tea and i poured somethink pink out there and it was sweet, i thought they'd msitaken the tea bottle labels


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 3:16 PM
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g


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 04-25-08 3:17 PM
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