I'd like to see Hulk Hogan's moustache oil up Thomas Friedman's moustache.
A mustache with a mustache is the opposite of a mustache.
A mustache with a mustache is the opposite of a mustache.
Wouldn't that be the opposite of a beard?
Okay, the picture shocked me. Because it's not her ass! It's her, um, girl parts!
But on second thought, he might just be doing the inside of her thigh, and the angle is misleading. Better hope Hulk doesn't have the photographer's name.
4: yeah, because there's nothing more dangerous than a slow, aging steroid addict with a boss moustache and the time tested ability to pretend to get suplexed.
Oiling your daughter's crotch: way grody!
No, no, more than that: grody to the MAX.
(read? See, read, that's how you do it!)
I think Obama needs to renounce him.
B, there are about a dozen pictures. Scroll down a bit.
Actually, on looking at the entire picture set, my reactions are (1) she's amazingly pretty, isn't she? and "hot" in the best possible way. (2) actually, Hulk looks kind of charming.
My vote is: admirable and wholesomely loving family.
7: I did. The rest of the pictures show him touching her buttocks, not her crotch. I'm not bothered.
Estimated time until apostropher posts a "Stormcrow thought he was joking" comment with a link to an actual call for Obama to renounce Hulk Hogan: 16 hours.
Squicky and vulgar. If we had a true representative democracy, he'd be president for life.
Denounce Hulk Hogan ? Mais non! The American people trust Hulk Hogan. And Hulk Hogan trusts Barack Obama. Obama's next commercial should just be to buy airtime for this, preceded and followed by "I'm Barack Obama and I approved this message."
I thought the blog became an embarrassment when we had the nth iteration of "analytic philosophy: yea or nay?" but I see now that true degradation arrives with the announcement that Brooke Hogan is "amazingly pretty."
Was it that it was the nth iteration, Labs, or that the iteration took that form?
I think to qualify for "amazingly pretty," one's prettiness can't be so heavily dependent on the camera angle.
On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is Labs posting a picture of his colonoscopy and 10 is Warren Jeffs, this gets a 7.
19: I fail to understand what is being measured on this scale.
"Number of women this inspires me to pursue sex with"?
19: I fail to understand what is being measured on this scale.
"Number of women this inspires me to pursue sex with"?
I just wanna see the pix when he comes back to re-oil in an hour and starts oiling the ass of the wrong supine-girl-in-black-bikini.
--But in any event, yes, gross. Once your kid hits puberty, she oils her own ass.
22: I think badness of post, because Labs' colonoscopy pic was a great post.
21: It is the scale on my ickometer, just like ogged asked for in the original post. Oiling your grown daughter's buttocks rates a 7.
So no, none of these things make me want to have sex with anyone. Not Warren Jeffs, not Labs' colon. What kind of weirdo do you think I am?
Very definitely honi soit qui mal y pense territory, I think. The man is her father for god's sake; the idea that he should therefore never touch her because of the danger that the dreaded uncontrollable sex! will rear its ugly head and then incest! oh noe! - it's asinine and puerile.
I cannot in good faith concur on the "amazingly pretty" assessment, however, as the poor girl looks startlingly like the blind side prop of my old college rugby XV.
AP was not FL.
it's grodier than the other thread's reference
though the patriarch seems past having the earthly desires phase, so he has a little excuse
the patriarch seems past having the earthly desires phase
Well put.
24: Sort of a wimpy, academic, feminist, transgressive weirdo.
Surprisingly pretty, not "amazingly", is I think what was meant.
An incest perv is no threat to anyone else's daughters, at least.
There actually was a horrible story about extended forced incest and slavery in Austria just now. Let's joke about something more pleasant, like the Holocaust or something.
30: if you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family, eh?
I don't think it's his daughter. Don't they always joke about him dating a woman who looks just like his daughter?
Oddly enough, I also date a woman who looks like my daughter. Kinkier still! Her mother looks like her!
34: Mmhmm. And are they the same age?
Taking photographs of a man oiling his daughter's buttocks at his pool is ickier than oiling your daughter's buttocks at your pool. Blogging those photographs falls somewhere in between. I'm not sure where looking at the photographs fall.
I'm not sure where looking at the photographs fall.
Better take another look to be sure.
If it's his girlfriend rather than his daughter, then Hulkamania is about to run wild on this guy.
thinking about it, I look a bit like her son ... I wonder if that's the only reason she went out with me? I feel used.
Were it Jake the Snake Roberts, then you'd have a case.
I once oiled the ass of a girl who looked just like Captain Lou Albano.
'Smasher you've been suspiciously absent from the Bested Thread Evar. I demand to know the details of only-just-second-best establishments.
For a 10 on the ickometer, check out the Austrian guy who trapped his daughter in his cellar and kept her locked up there for 24 years, fathering 7 children by her. One died, three of them were adopted by him and his wife, and the other three had never seen the light of day until one was taken to the hospital.
41: 9.3 on the ickometer, but it was the speed at which the needle hit 9.3 that was the really impressive part.
this thread is grody
if to grade unfogged threads i don't like 1. racist or anti-racist threads coz can't tell which one, 2. hillary vs obama 3. various nudity 4. food 5. swimming 6. modern love
like: 1. music, 2. movies 3. books 4. people's memories or various experiences 5. philosophy threads 6. other than elections political or research kind of threads
Sifu, that was Captain Lou Albano.
Sifu, that was Captain Lou Albano.
Honestly, officer, I'm only here for the Cyndi Lauper video shoot.
Any woman that can bench press me ten times is not attractive. And I just glanced, but I think she's blonde, which is why it was just a glance.
42: grumble grumble grumble. Ask me another time.
D2 and Emerson get it right, basically. And I stand by my statement that Ms. Hogan is quite pretty. Those of you who disagree are assholes.
Or maybe you have weird standards of beauty, I dunno.
49: right after I ask Spack about the second best war zone he's been to -- the one he's not keeping for himself.
In which Bitch, PhD is confirmed as a card carrying member of the Patriarchy
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://images.askmen.com/galleries/singer/brooke-hogan/pictures/brooke-hogan-picture-1.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.askmen.com/women/singer_300/309_brooke_hogan.html&h=490&w=376&sz=49&hl=en&start=6&um=1&tbnid=tgf9dbv_JOrVZM:&tbnh=130&tbnw=100&prev=/images%3Fq%3DBrooke%2BHogan%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26channel%3Ds%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DG
Any woman that can bench press me ten times is not attractive.
Are you kidding? The novelty of a woman with that much upper arm strength alone is arousing.
Also, B is right. Ms. Hogan is very pretty. I'm beginning to think that B and I have basically the same taste in women. There ought to be something lascivious I can say based on this fact, but I can't think of it.
I'll just note that Stormcrow can tell his daughter that the new mouseover text is awesome.
I know this isn't the first example, but the fact that ogged reads something like WWTDD is depressing.
Where's my chorus of "Heebie is right!"s?
I know this isn't the first example, but the fact that ogged reads something like WWTDD is depressing.
Ogged's pursuit of bloggable material is fearless, and causes him to plumb the very depths of the intertubes.
61: marginalize the Heebie right!
I know this isn't the first example, but the fact that ogged reads something like WWTDD is depressing.
The obvious solution is to cover a wall in pictures from WWTDD with your face photoshopped in.
Actually I think at one point Ogged denounced WWTDD forever, because they posted something that offended even him. But I guess he's forgotten about that. (As, apparently, have I, mostly.)
It still offends me regularly, but dude, everyone reads WWTDD (and/or The Superficial) and I don't want to be out of the loop. Ingrates.
That said, WWTDD barely rates on the vileness scale of the sites I check semi-regularly.
62: There is truly marvellous proof of the fact that Heebie is always right which the margin of this blog too narrow to contain.
67: how come you never post links to dailyrotten, huh?
68: Even as I write this, analytic philosophers are feverishly working to produce a more succinct proof. Results expected any century now according to a spokesperson.
though the patriarch seems past having the earthly desires phase, so he has a little excuse
Pure poetry.
It still offends me regularly, but dude, everyone reads WWTDD (and/or The Superficial)
Neighba please.
Heebie is at her very best when she's marginalized. I'm designing some fancy stationary with elaborately crafted heebie margins. It will be used for writing those "special" notes. It will only be sold at the highest-end stores.
The link in 72 is worth following for a little perspective.
I'm at my very best when I'm riding horseback through the Texas sands, hair blowing in the wind, with a faraway look in my stormy eyes. But the margins are nice, too.
77: I prefer the stormy look in your faraway eyes, but either or, I guess.
You know what else a lot of people read? Cute Overload. You should link there more often, Ogged. Also ICanHazCheeseburger.
he's not past the phase, know now thanks to heebie-geebie, so just grody
my excuse is i did not know who he is until i read this thread
78: They're farapart eyes. I'm like a flounder.
We just wish you'd quit fiddling with that revolver when people are talking to you. The faraway eyes don't really help either.
81: your floundery look in the store eyed parties.
Any video that includes the line "Hopefully my nuts break the fall" is a winner.
Heebie, I think you missed our story here about carp fraud. Be very wary of anyone who tries to sell you carp futures.
The link in 72 is worth following for a little perspective.
What perspective is this supposed to grant, again?
The link in 72 is worth following for a little perspective.
Doesn't matter. Nobody's gonna believe you're down with the gente no matter how many fancy charts you find.
77: With "Ride of the Valkyries" playing in the background? Works for me.
What the hell is that mid-Mar traffic spike at WWTDD be about?
What perspective is this supposed to grant, again?
Apparently we're supposed to be shocked or enlightened or something to learn that a journalistic endeavor gets more traffic than snarky entertainment news. Ogged doesn't yet realize that in America we have something called "junior high" in which we have ample opportunity to learn this for ourselves.
The link in 84 has definitely given me a little perspective.
a journalistic endeavor gets more traffic than snarky entertainment news
Actually, you big homo, the very popular political blog gets about half the traffic of the snarky entertainment news.
The GF and daughter presumably both look like the mother when she was young.
Hang on, they don't look at all alike on that picture at least.
Swedes can tell one blonde from another.
To us, blondes are exotic and vaguely threatening. To the hardy Swedes, they're no more frightening than bears or wolves.
Actually, you big homo, the very popular political blog gets about half the traffic of the snarky entertainment news.
I meant "less," oppressor, but even second-hand entertainment news made me too stupid to type good.
Belatedly:
Woo-hoo, heebie!! Woo-hoo!!
Kobe looks askance at heebie's self-aggrandizement.
You think this is something? I read on Jezebel about a family that went on the Tyra Banks show earlier this week to talk about how Dad gives Daughter her Brazilian bikini waxes.
I just want you all to know that I was fondling my son's naked ass just this morning as he was waking up. Because it's a cute ass, goddammit.
Do you have separate 529 plans to pay for PK's college and his future therapy bills?
I'm at my very best when I'm riding horseback through the Texas sands
That drifting, shifting, Texas sand.
Do you have separate jacks of shit for both of those future obligations?
I believe that PK will inherit Mr. B.'s credit card debt when he goes to college, and mine when he starts therapy, yes.
(Joke. We aren't carrying assloads of cc debt. But we have some, because we are spoiled moron Americans.)
(Full disclosure: my insurance company's been dicking me over and I've been out of meds for two days, so I'm a bit ranty at the moment.)
You want me to start a thread where you just get to disagree with people?
Help, my mom fondles my butt when she goes off her meds!
Kiddie butt is the opiate of the missus.
(More self-indulgent ranting: Mr. B. switched jobs, from his Evil Corporate Defense Contractor employer to civilian employee of the US military. Which is awesome, b/c working for the military means that his 12 years of military service will "count" towards a pension rather than just having been thrown away since he got out before retirement. But it does mean that we're going this week--the week in which rent is due!--sans pay, since the military pay schedule is one week behind the one he was on before. So in addition to being irritated with my insurance company, I've been stressing over digging into our tiny savings to cover shit like my extortionate insurance company's bullshit copays as they string me along with one week of prescription medication at a time. Also, to pay for PK's spring soccer pizza party dinner tonight. Etc. GAH.)
The commenters with children of their own will vindicate me on the butt-fondling.
Just make sure you don't give PK any lemonade
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2008/04/when-life-gives-1.html
(NB my wife is always going on about how cute our son's butt is.)
Sometimes you make me wish I had a kid, B. Only a few other people have spoken of their kids in ways that make me feel that. (This does not in any way mean I don't like kids or don't have them because I can't stand them; nothing like that.)
Thank you Parsimon. Your saying that, Ogged's offering me a thread to fight with people in, and fondling PK's butt are the only things that haven't completely sucked today.
Yeah, kid butt is pretty great. So are chubby cheeks!
115: Meh, that stories not quite as awful as the one a few years ago about the family whose kids were taken into foster care because the mother was breastfeeding.
B is definitely one of the top doting gargoyles here at Unfogged. Apo and LB also do their share.
But, I hasten to add, LB is not as gargoylish as Apo and B.
I know this is predictable, but I fondle my kid's butt whenever I can. I have also discussed at length with real life persons my analysis of the postpartum sex-drive crash - hormonal, sleep-deprived, overworked, etc, account for the bulk of it for awhile. But around 18 months-ish, after a brief rebound, I started to feel so enamored of my daughter's perfect form, that I could barely imagine dealing with a hairy grownup.
We do, I might add, have a 529, so I assume that makes the former ok.
Also I had to spend $400 on my dumb car today and am maybe getting screwed out of a job and my kid's butt is not coughing, like her mouth STILL IS, so it's basically the greatest thing in my life.
Little kid butt is irresistible. It's enough to make you keep having babies.
The commenters with children of their own will vindicate me on the butt-fondling.
Eh, to a point. I think Rory's got a year or so on PK, so not a comparison, but we've rapidly advanced on the point where butt fondling seems questionable. I mean, a pat on the fully clothed tushy, fine. Fondling of the naked bum, no, probably not. The idea of her dad fondling her naked bum, well, that's approaching the sort of scenario that might arouse my frightening and violent side.
Naked tummy, though, irresistable.
And I'm not just saying this to offer B an opening to rant at someone.
Nothing more adorable than little kid butt. Except when its covered in poop.
Hulkster was using the back of his hand, so I don't think it counts as "fondling."
The fact that he used the back of his hand on her crotch indicates a recognition of the carnal nature of the act--an attempt at innocence which only damns more fully.
But what kind of father would let his little girl get a sun burn down there?
But what kind of father would let his little girl get a sun burn down there?
Right question, wrong conclusion drawn. A father should rely not on chemical sunscreens, but on generously proportioned garments to cover those parts. This will protect them from the suns rays and the lecherous gaze of mean all at once. Oh, and wipe that makeup off your face before you leave this house, young lady, I'll not have you cavorting about town looking like that!
Inner thigh. Inner thigh.
Can someone else make the intercrural joke? I'm too tired to look up the link.
Oh, Knecht, glad you're here. Just wanted to reassure you, if you were still feeling that grad students dine too well—tonight I had stale bread for dinner.
naked kid butt = lovely. Sometimes I can't help sticking my hands down trousers in search of it. But I don't think the 9 year old or the 11year old would be too impressed, so I suppose that means I've only got about another 3 years of it. Wah!
tonight I had stale bread for dinner
And you'll like it!
IAS, w-lfs-n, I don't begrudge you your culinary explorations. I spent most of my abortive forray into grad school honing my culinary skills. There is no doubt that the cooking skills* I acquired in that two-burner-stove-no-oven kitchen have been more valuable than anything I learned in the classroom or library.
* living with a Belgian, an Italian Swiss, a Persian, and two Chinese was a real bonus in this regard.
The exquisite Belgian cuisine was obviously the real treat. Everyone can eat Italian, Persian, or Chinese any old time.
A father should rely not on chemical sunscreens, but on generously proportioned garments Crisco to cover those parts.
Sometimes I can't help sticking my hands down trousers in search of it.
After UnfoggeDCon, I can vouch that this is true. She does this.
And did you have a naked kid butt down there to oblige?
And then she says "Ish! This one is hairy and stinky!"
And remember, guys, Crisco is shortening. If you use it for an inappropriate purpose, you will get the oopposite result to the one you're hoping for.
The journey is more important than the destination, Nakku.
It may be shortening, but it's fattening.
I will never, ever understand straight people.
Nobody does really. We're a special little mystery.
I will never, ever understand straight people.
Certainly not if this is your sample.
To which part of the thread does 142 pertain?
The exquisite Belgian cuisine was obviously the real treat.
I can't tell if you are being sarcastic, Emerson, but Belgium has a perfectly respectable culinary tradition. It's not all moules + frites.
From my Persian friend (this one) I learned to make a kind of frittata (kuku sabzi) that is mostly leafy greens and herbs. Yum.
To your butt, I think, Apo.
I share his mystification.
To which part of the threadblog does 142 pertain?
All of it.
"And I mean mean your whole blog, not just your bloghole!"
It's not all moules + frites.
Nothing wrong with them either, for that matter. I suggest we take umbrage at Emerson on behalf of Belgium, and declare him anathema.
148: All of it.
Indeed. I think National Lampoon did a nifty bit of recontextualization back in the '70s with a themed issue on "Heterosexuality".
I'm sorry to be joining the thread late, but this conversation is all wrong: Hulk Hogan is the very essence of American society. If Hulk's behavior seems strange, that just indicates that our norms are about to change. For instance, America's turn against the labor movement can be traced to the precise moment when Hogan betrayed Jesse Ventura's union-organizing effort to Vince McMahon. Look it up! (on the internet, preferably)
Consider the theme song. Consider his Florida residence and grotesquely tanned hide. Consider his wife and son's affiliation with illegal street racing. Consider the reality show.
Mark my words, soon a daughter-crotch-oiling float will feature prominently in every small town Fourth of July parade in America.
This has got to be way higher on the father/daughter pervo scale:
http://jezebel.com/384994/father-gives-daughter-bikini-waxes-rides-to-work-at-a-brothel
(obligatory demurral - I don't read Jezebel regularly but saw this link on Feministing)
Pwnage of 154 by 101 is mitigated by the addition of the link.
On second thought, no one click on the link in 154. I feel like vomiting now.
On second thought, no one click on the link in 154. I feel like vomiting now.
That's a terribly defeatist attitude, KR. Why, I click on vomit-inducing links several times a day.
That's a terribly defeatist attitude, KR. Why, I click on vomit-inducing links several times a day.
This is vomit-inducing in a totally different way. They father and "manager" is pimping out his daughter. When she has second thoughts about going through with the job at the brothel, he browbeats her into it, all under the guise of being supportive. I can only hope this is a made-for-tv story and not for real. I'm having a rare, NattarGcM-like "I want to punch that dude, and hard" moment.
Often daughters don't understand their own best interest and have to be persuaded.
