Everything you need is here, here and here.

The Johan Pa Snippen recordings I've listened to so far (Sigge Furst and the Adventures) are great.

Ann-Kristin "Grynet" Molvig's takes the cake. It's filled with that trademark Ann-Kristin "Grynet" Molvig brio and joie de vivre.

are there any words 'coffee days' in the songs?

Thurl Ravenscroft isn't too shabby either!

Oh, wait, it was actually Molvig's I listened to. With the little scream partway in.

I just put on the Dies Irae, to cut to the chase with the whole sex-and-death thing. Anyone who's creeped out by that should have thought twice before bedding down with me in the first place.

Reading the linked thread, it's surprising to see so many once-regulars that have now moved on.

1 -- the only song that might not be good for lovemaking is "Santa's Too Fat for the Hula Hoop".

You all familiar with Grace Slick's Across the Board? I'd imagine a copy can be found.

You can't cock yourself, woman . . .

so many once-regulars that have now moved on

I didn't look at the whole thread, but almost all those people still comment.

Since the advice is for Bostoniangirl, I will recommend Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence.

Reading the linked thread, it's surprising to see so many once-regulars that have now moved on.

That was my reaction, too. Where have you gone, NCProsecutor? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you. DaveL, dagger aleph, Standpipe Bridgeplate....the Golden Age of unfogged is truly past.

DaveL is here under a different name. Hot Prince Namlet, I think.

I didn't look at the whole thread, but almost all those people still comment.

Yes but several, like Standpipe, are essentially commenters emeritus

Yes but several, like Standpipe, are essentially commenters emeritus

Is a tenured commenter someone who can't be banned even if Ogged says he's banned?

e-meritus

I'm guessing that The Best of Bread would not be considered a correct answer.

That probably deserves a banning.

18 to 16. I don't know what 17 is referencing; maybe 18 works there too.

17 was probably to the original post.

This would be a better choice than The Best of Bread, yes.

17 was probably to the original post.

I know that. I don't know The Best of Bread.

1: I really like a lot of that stuff on the first Ubuweb link. And the Thurl Ravenscroft too, of course.

I've gotten very lazy and have started downloading monthly "indie mixtape" torrents from the popular Scandinavian site. Dumping 200 or so new tracks into my iTunes every few weeks is good enough for me, now that I'm 30 and can't be bothered to try to keep up with what's cool these days.

Is a tenured commenter someone who can't be banned even if Ogged says he's banned?

Not only sexist, but vastly out of touch with reality (i.e., the commenters Ogged would ban if he could).

Oh B. Ogged could never ban you.

21: I don't know The Best of Bread.

But I'm sure you do and just don't know it. Here let me sing it for ya:

If a picture paints a thousand words,
Then why can't I paint you?
The words will never show the you I've come to know.

and

It don't matter to me ...

Not only sexist, but vastly out of touch with reality

OK, how about "Is a tenured or fixed-term contract commenter ..."

Listening to samples, I kind of recognize Bread.

Ultimately, we can never rise above the rank of visiting commenter.

25: Not any more, now that I have those pictures, he can't.

Reading that linked thread, I'd forgotten how many concerts I used to go to. I'm now jealous of my 21-year-old self.

I suppose the internet canonical and tired answer to this thread's question is "Yakety Sax" on repeat. Some commenter's suggestion of Les Georges Leningrad is just crazy enough to work.

30: You mean the pictures you were supposed to use in order to choose your life partner, Cinderella style?

I've never really been interested in music in bed.

I do remember, though, that as an adolescent, I worried that if I listened to music while masturbating, I'd forever associate that song with wacking off. I don't think I was worried about spontaneous musically-cued erections or the synesthetic smell of Lubriderm. Probably just feelings of shame.

31: Oh, Les Georges Leningrad works.

26: So, just to be clear: Bread's classic soft rock hit "If" has absolutely nothing to do with the poem by Rudyard Kipling?

Does "If" really say, essentially, "if a man could be in two places at the same time I'd spend two times in the same place"?

35: Well, they have the same title, d'oh!

And Wikpedia is telling me that Telly Savalas's version of If went number one in England (and Europe) in 1975. Judge for yourself. Romance!

Telly Savalas's "If" cannot be as romantic as Anthony Hopkins' #75 hit, "Distant Star".

Romance!

Who loves ya, baby? I always thought it was Telly Savales who did that memorable spoken word recording of the circa 1692 1962 classic Desiderata, but no, apparently it was Les Crane.

Deteriorata.

or the synesthetic smell of Lubriderm

new rollover text.

I was looking for actual mixes. It's an unreasonable request, I know.

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club's first, self-titled album. Intense stuff.

And maybe some Tortoise, but that's just me.

36: yes, which is just a roundabout way of saying that David Gates would fuck his clone.

Where have you gone, NCProsecutor?

Became a father about three weeks ago. He's probably a little preoccupied. And exhausted.

As for teh sexy music, you can't beat this. You'll never see pants hit the floor any faster.

If it's going to be Ween, it better be this.

Here ya go, BG.

45: Which should come first, Unfogged or his flesh and blood? To me the answer is clear, but NCP seems to have made the wrong choice.

I'm guessing that The Best of Bread would not be considered a correct answer.

No, that's for the pathetic post-breakup "take me back" mix.

I was looking for actual mixes. It's an unreasonable request, I know.

I gotta give BG credit: she really plans ahead for these things.

I'm OK with music during sex as long as the song isn't about sex. It's like listening to 'Born to be Wild' while riding a motorcycle.

Will no one rise to BG's challenge?

I can't believe nobody's linked this yet.

54: I do believe that's the first time I've seen a stick-figure depiction of cunnilingus.

For the classical music demographic, Ravel's Boléro is the canonical choice.

Thisseems suited to my experiences, historically speaking...

i hope, BG, you'll enjoy this
my sweet and tender beast
it's a waltz from an old movie

May I drop in to recommend Rush's Farewell To Kings?

I suppose the internet canonical and tired answer to this thread's question is "Yakety Sax" on repeat.

Take my advice, put on the soundtrack to Vertov's Enthusiasm: Symphony of the Donbass and the panties will just start dropping off.

Boris Kovac's Serbian tango music. Also exceptionally good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCXyGHQ0lHg

61 isn't really a joke.

Mr. Ruprecht, linking to both of those comments at the same time was a bit much.

58: hey, I know that tune!

BG this could potentially be among the perils of talking about your sex life on the internet. Besides, that's how Knecht's mind works: if, at some point, you choose to hire his consulting firm for a high-dollar evaluation of your sex life, he wants to have the relevant facts for a back-of-the-envelope calculation ready at hand.

56:I was thinking of the Xenakis Bohor, but probably not since it may not be Xenakis or titled Bohor. What a drag it is growing old.

new wet kojak has been known to work well, fwiw.

If we're not doing a mix, I'd personally recommend almost anything by Gerry Mulligan, specially "Song for Strayhorn". But I accept that I'm weird.

I'm totally doing a mix. It'll be all the raunchiest songs I have, just to move things along.

63: I apologize, BG. I didn't intend any harm.

67 see 37

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club's first, self-titled album. Intense stuff.

SCOFF

69 (hah): Make sure you use the live Pigface version of "Suck", with Ogre 'singing', not any of the bloodless Trent Reznor vocal versions.

Schubert's trio op 100 is nice. Melancholy in spots, so depends on your tolerance. Also Chopin's nocturnes.
Or dub; Lee Perry or Lynton Kwesi Johnson or Sly + Robbie.

If you want intense stuff, you want Tony Conrad & Faust's Outside the Dream Syndicate Alive, or maybe Car Bomb's Centralia.

I was just thinking the other day as I was enjoying the Mustard Truck funky mix from apo that I wanted to return the favour with some mix and now I have a darn good excuse! Don't have access to my song library here at work unfortunately but will come up with something later.

I sent a couple of friends who were going to try and have a baby their own gender-delineated baby makin' mixes: the male version was more like, "Yeah! you can do it!" and the female version was more like "Just shut up and listen to the groove and HIT THAT SPOT AGAIN!" The mingling of genetic matter did happen, though I don't know if it was in response to the magical mixes.

76: Uh... I'm all for a good getting-it-on mix. But if your mix wields that sort of fertility-inducing power, you may want to consider appropriate cautionary labeling.

76: start that sexist stereotyping at the *moment of conception*, baby!

So, turning the question around, what music do you really, really, really not want to hear when boot-knocking time comes around.

And no Scandinavian scream-singers, people. I'm thinking "Happy Birthday" or "Our God is an Awesome God." "Hava Nagila?"

79, meet 54.

I'm thinking Billie Jean would be a little disconcerting. Or Paradise by the Dashboard Light.

79: Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

"Momma's got a squeezebox".

Big Bottom by Spinal Tap.

Papa Don't Preach

Diamanda Galas.

On the other hand, it occurs to me that Springsteen's "Going Down" would have some merit.

79: I'm a little distressed now, actually, at my initial reaction that "Awesome God" might have some decent potential.

85: I would totally have suggested her but it seemed implicitly contravened by the terms of 79.

The ballad Pretty Polly or Nirvana's Polly.

89: yeah

Everyone Has AIDS from Team America.

Most show tunes. I'm thinking "Do-Re-Mi" or "525600 Minutes" or "If I Was a Rich Man".

Oklahoma would kind of rule to sing along with during sex.

Lucky for you, Tweety, my turntable isn't working, because I do have that record, you know.

93. Be sure to wear matching cowboy hats. In case your partner doesn't have hats, be sure to bring a few. It's only polite.

Nice, Tweety. Now I've got the Surrey With the Fringe on Top scene from Harry Met Sally stuck in my head...

"Poor Jud is Dead" would be perhaps an even worse sex music choice from that musical.

95 -- Didn't we resolve in a previous thread that it is the host's responsibility to supply the hats?

"Mother" by Danzig would be deeply confusing, and probably bad in most circumstances.

Most?

98. The host should have hats (cawoboy, jimmy, etc.), but just in case*mdash;be prepared. And now, how about some Tom Lehrer?

Stupid qwerty keyboard!

The surprise symphony.

And now, how about some Tom Lehrer?

According to the liner notes, Lehrer's The Old Dope Peddler was originally written as The Abortionist, but this was considered too outré for the era(!).

Most show tunes.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Which reminds me, has any hip-hop artist sampled any Mary Poppins tunes? 'Cuz if not, they really should.

If I was a Rich Man would be pretty wooly.

Oklahoma would kind of rule to sing along with during sex.

With all due apologies for tooting my own horn, I recommend this version.

I think "Oh, Yeah" by Yello, would be the worst for me.

108: some kind of painful formative experience at Ferris Bueller's Day Off?

My first post-high-school girlfriend insisted on going down on me for the first time while we were watching Pulp Fiction at my house. As I saw Bruce Willis's screen-filling grizzled mug explain why, precisely, that watch was so important, I finally viscerally understood the meaning of "cognitive dissonance".

109: I associate it more with Secret of My Success actually.

insisted on going down on me for the first time

You make it sound as though you put up resistance.

I need some examples of these sex hats. Is this a german thing, Di?

You make it sound as though you put up resistance.

I wanted her to wait until the Walken monologue.

110: Never look a gift horse...uh...in the mouth.

Sex hat!

Is this a german thing, Di?

That reminds me: Do you know what comes between fear and sex?

Fünf.

I find that joke works a lot better out loud than on paper.

117: I was going to go with "the judgment of dissolution," but fuenf is a good answer, too.

118: so, like, at all?

what music do you really, really, really not want to hear when boot-knocking time comes around?

Anything by Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Anything by Alvin and the Chipmunks.

My daughters *love* to dance around to a Chipmunks cover of "Funkytown". This is tantamount to a scientific experiment to measure how much distilled awfulness I can process and still find endearing because it involves my own flesh and blood.

I'm thinking that anything off of the Langly Schools Music Project would be startling.

A variety of political songs could be offputting e.g.

"Ain't no new thing" by Gil Scott Heron
or
"Strange Fruit"

As I saw Bruce Willis's screen-filling grizzled mug explain why, precisely, that watch was so important, I finally viscerally understood the meaning of "cognitive dissonance".

You were resisting your own secret fantasy of being sodomized with a wristwatch.

That reminds me: Do you know what comes between fear and sex?

The proper setup is "According to Freud, what comes between fear and sex?", and yes, it works much better aloud.

I like the Imperial march from Star Wars during sex.

Any Einstürzende Neubauten piece with a jackhammer.

"Jesus Built My Hotrod", by Ministry. It's because Jesus really did build my hotrod.

Jesus didn't create your penis. In fact, even God didn't. He merely created the environment in which it would eventually occur.

Jesus ate my hotdog.

Mr. T ate my balls. On a hot dog.

God didn't literally create Chartres or the Sistine Chapel, either, but it's traditional to give Him some of the credit.

OK! so finally I have 2 bigass mixes ready for consumption. Extra long for your pleasure (or wide as is your preference).

Doin' It, Pt. 1

Slide and Dip It (zydeco mix) Beau Jocque
Jungle Man The Meters
Always There Rebirth Brass Band
Goin' Down Allen Toussaint
Use Me (Till You Use Me Up) Bill Withers
How To Operate With A Blown Mind Lo-Fidelity Allstars
Don't Explain (Dzihan & Kamien Remix) Billie Holiday
Blind Man, Blind Man Herbie Hancock
Take Five Al Jarreau
Spanish Grease Willie Bobo
Come on in My Kitchen Scott Ainslie
Ndiourel Gestu De Dakar
Roots, Rock, Reggae Bob Marley & The Wailers
Summertime (UFO Remix) Sarah Vaughan
The Orange County Lumber Truck Frank Zappa
Keep Your Dress Tail Down Boozoo Chavis
Babe I Dig You The Countdown Quartet
Paul Newman Lefties Soul Connection
Attention! The Apples
83 GLC The Countdown Quartet
I Get Money (I Dap Money Remix) 50 Cent
Incense And Candles Prince
Let's Do It Again Rebirth Brass Band

Doin' It, Pt. 2

Theme From Blinking Lights Eels
Spread our little wings The Delano Orchestra
Sail Away Ladies Stillhouse Bottom Band
It's Not The Liquor I Miss Luke Doucet
The Man Who Loved Beer David Byrne
Blue Skies Lyle Lovett
Tu Moi Aussi? Urbs
Dark Shadows Charlie Parker
Only You Portishead
Can't Stop Thinking Bout You Martin Sexton
Everytime We Live Together We Die a Bit More Hooverphonic
C'est Bien Mieux Comme Ça Soha
Oh ! Micky Green
Spring In Your Heart Panic Ensemble
Papa Legba (Pops Staples Vocal Version) Talking Heads
Cye (Feat. Kasia Kurzewska) Smolik
It's A Beautiful Day Club des Belugas
Sympathique Pink Martini
Soul salsa soul St Germain
Situation (Remix) Yaz
Afro D'Mercedes Addys Mercedes
27 Jennifers Doughty, Mike
It Could Be Sweet Portishead
She Only Sleeps David Byrne
Santa Cruzin' Soul Rebels
Fill Me With Your Light Clem Snide
Heaven's On Fire Hayseed Dixie

Find em both here

http://www.hungryphotographer.org/files/music/doin_it1.zip

http://www.hungryphotographer.org/files/music/doin_it2.zip

And yes, the Hayseed Dixie cover is entirely ironic.

Comments welcome!

Thank you KJ! Although that Mike Doughty song is extremely half-assed even by his standards, the rest contains many things I know I will enjoy!

Re: 134 - but the rhythm was what I was going for. :)

OK, I've also made a s3xx0r mix.

program_music.zip

Miles Davis - Chez Le Photographe Du Motel
Nearly God - Poems [full length]
Boris Kovac - Slow for Julia
Bobby Womack - That's the Way I Feel About Cha
Carla Bruni - Quelqu-un M'a Dit
Carla Bley - Death of Superman/Dream Sequence #1 - Flying
Bobby Bland - Black Night
The Electric Prunes - General Confessional
Dusty Springfield - So Much Love
Frank Sinatra - Willow Weep For Me
Bjork - An Echo, A Stain
Guy Barker - Pamina's Portrait
Portishead - Glory Box
Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings - Stranded in Your Love
Gil Evans - Las Vegas Tango
Rod Stewart - (You Make Me Feel) Like a Natural Man
Shuggie Otis - Pling!
The Delfonics - Didn't I Blow Your Mind This Time
Goldfrapp - Pilots
Charlie Mingus - I X Love
David Crosby - I'd Swear There Was Somebody There
Charles Rosen - Var 25 a 2 Clav

136 - mixes with Portishead in them promote extended booty time, I am convinced.