I fucking hate you, you motherfucker.
Welcome, Stanster! So you buried Ogged's corpse in the water tower?
1: That I'm even a blip on your high-minded radar is an honor, master ben.
The wild horse of my passion is as nothing to the wild horse on your sweaters, Stanley.
Woohoo! But I can't get to the video for some odd reason
The acoustics of a public shower room are more horrifying than anything. The sounds make my head reel.
5: 99 red luft-commenters.
Beautiful heebie.
Glad to see the oggedster is keeping it classy in the afterlife. Now if it had only been taken at a home for crippled children ... perfection!
Congratulations, Stanley! I always did like you better than ogged anyhow.
99 red luft-commenters.
I think that the only reason this hasn't been nitpicked by ben yet is that he's avoiding this thread out of spite.
Don't worry though, Stanley. I'm sure once you're in your sophomore year at the blog ben will be nice to you and y'all can bond over hazing the new guys.
7 was Ben, who earlier this morning was crawling around on my floor playing with Brio trains, I shit you not. Which immaturity really explains the whole "wild horse = passion" metaphor, don'tcha think?
I'll bet as soon as ogged gets out of rehab though, he'll go straight back to blogging.
I'm just happy that ben has recovered from his tumble at 0:47.
I can't get to the video for some odd reason
Here's a direct link, tweedles.
Can we now rename the blog "UnfoggediStan"? Can we??
Stanley, sorry about Emerson cursing you and yours unto the 3rd and 4th generations. Bad luck, that.
So this means more music blogging, more facial hair blogging, and I'm not sure what other specialties Stanley brings. Either way, woo, hook'em Stanley.
The video makes me sad. At least the last woman, who thinks she's suddenly started her period and is mortified.
21: Maybe some wineblogging? And eekbeat blogging??
At least the last woman, who thinks she's suddenly started her period and is mortified.
Yeah, it was pretty amusing as a whole, but that part was a shame.
Kind of makes you wonder what her normal flow is like, though.
23: No; once PK woke up at about 11:30, Ben got antsy, refused brunch, and took off.
25: See, that's precisely the kind of thing that one does *not* want strangers speculating on.
I would imagine that, looking down and seeing blood on the floor during a public shower, one wouldn't think "huh, that's an awful lot of blood." One would, rather, have an immediate reaction--as she did.
Kind of makes you wonder what her normal flow is like, though.
That reminds me of this story.
See, that's precisely the kind of thing that one does *not* want strangers speculating on.
Well, obviously.
Did anyone hear the Jay Alison public radio show on dads this weekend? There was a really beautiful story about a girl getting her first period while at some sort of weekend house with her dad and other families, with the mom out of town on business. The dad - who was a doctor really into the whole "miraculous body" idea - was scarcely flustered at all, and orchestrated both the acquisition of suitable products and a champagne toast at dinner in honor of this momentous step. And obviously the relationships were such that the girl found this incredibly supportive, not at all embarrassing. So great.
a champagne toast at dinner in honor of this momentous step
Agh. I'm glad it worked out for her, but agh.
Agh is right. That it may have "worked out for her" says something bad, not good, about the family, I think. Because agh is the appropriate reaction.
not at all embarrassing.
OH REALLY?
Kind of makes you wonder what her normal flow is like, though.
That reminds me of this story.
Another one for the "Yay Stanley!" column.
I, too, look forward to the music blogging.
Veronica or Betty?
Mary Ann or Ginger?
John or Paul?
Ben or Willard?
Speedo LZR or TYR Tracer Light?
Unfoggedistan or Amerika?
Stanley or Ogged?
I think the champagne toast is quite a lovely idea, you sexist prudes.
35: Veronica, Ginger, John, Willard, who cares, Unfoggedistan, Stanley.
Agh. I'm glad it worked out for her, but agh.
And how. NO THANK YOU.
The story linked in 28 is funny. I should spend more leisure time RTFA*.
* No I shouldn't.
Does anyone else have the sinking feeling that we're just voting for Kerry because we think other people will like him? And that we're bad judges of others' future preferences? So that, in fact, the stuff we find creepy, but never talk about in public, because it's a little family secret, like the forehead thing and the hair thing and the reputation for basically being Gumby will in fact turn off other voters too, and we'll end up completely screwed in the fall?
Fontana Labs, 2/19/04. I was following some old links around in the archives.
I think the champagne toast is quite a lovely idea, you sexist prudes.
Hell, any excuse to start drinking with my kid when she's 13ish...
I personally can't wait for the torrent of Spanish mustache-blogging this turn of events forebodes. Viva el Bigote!
It is quite a lovely idea, isn't it, B? Will you be having a formal toast for PK on the night of his first ejaculation?
OH REALLY?
Well, she was narrating the story on the radio*. She must've been OK with it.
* As an adult, of course. Sheesh.
Hell, any excuse to start drinking with my kid when she's 13ish...
When I was in high school, my mother had a rule for me: only one margarita on school nights.
Will you be having a formal toast for PK on the night of his first ejaculationhaircut?
People have talked up the miraculous menarche to me before, and while I've gotten my head around the idea that in some alternate universe that sort of ritual celebration could be cool, I guess, I am so much the product of my (taciturn, embarrassed) upbringing that it just sounds awful awful awful.
only one pitcher of margaritas on school nights.
Tough love, don't you know.
46, &c.: Iris has no sense of bodily shame yet, but I do recognize that 13 is a long way away. I won't put the bubbly in to chill just yet.
We may have actually gone out to the local Chinese restaurant for one of my sisters' blossoming into womanhoods (mine was on a camping trip)--my dad bought the supplies anyway & everyone else in the household was female. But if so we didn't explain to the waiters why, and the idea of a public champagne toast from my dad makes me cringe.
you sexist prudes.
Says the woman who picked Veronica over Betty and Ginger over Mary Ann.
"beyond the O-man's internet grave...." It's the third day - has anyone checked the tomb?
42: Ejaculation is just a wee bit different, marker-wise, than menses. But if and when I am made aware of PK's sexual maturing, I fully intend to be positive and supportive, yes.
51: I picked the bitchy girls.
I think that when guys sometimes imagine how foreign and bizarre it must be to get your period, they don't necessarily realize that that's exactly what it feels like, too, to that embarrassed little seventh grader.
Ejaculation is just a wee bit different, marker-wise, than menses.
True, it stains less. More cause for celebration!
My son, who is fifteen and has been having ordinary wine with Shabbos since he was about five, will occasionally ask me if he can have a beer, which is almost always ok by me. I wish I could take him to events in taverns, as I believe can be done to pubs in Britain.
For the record, the idea of public acknowledgement of my period from *my* dad makes me cringe, yes. But that's because my dad is cringeworthy. The *idea* of a small but formal acknowledgment, i.e., a toast, "to my daughter becoming a woman," strikes me as a lovely thing, if the family in question really is that copacetic.
I do remember calling my grandfather, who was a doctor, once when I was living alone and feeling really unwell, and his asking (among other diagnostic questions) if I was menstruating. It wasn't embarrassing at all.
54: Indeed. I told no one and had the most awkward and hushed discussion of maxi-pads with my mom when she finally caught on some time later. Rory, fortunately, already has acquired a pretty extensive knowledge of menstruation and the available products long before she had any chance to develop any sense of shame or embarrassment about it. Hopefully, she stays comfortable with these things.
I remember when I got my first UTI, in high school. My dad asked me, very clinically, if I'd been having sex. I was sick as a dog, because I'd let it go on so long, and he was not judgemental, but I was still very embarrassed to say yes.
Supportive loving families can still be embarrassing.
Yeah, I really wonder how these things will register for the next generation. PK's a little shy about *feelings*, but he's not shy about things like erections or my periods. Of course, once the reproductive organ functions become associated with feelings, well then.
I really wonder how these things will register for the next generation.
I think I grew up with parents like you're imagining. So speaking as a member of the next generation, still embarrassing. Wait, hold on, let me check...yep, still embarrassing.
Supportive loving families can still be embarrassing.
All families are embarrassing. Most of our everyday interaction is structured around embarrassment and routine-to-deliberate-to-desperate attempts to avoid it.
62: It would probably still be better to explain urinary tract infections early, explain how they occur and can be prevented, then just leave a lot of cranberry juice around the house in his teenage years and not ask questions.
61: I got a UTI after being married, and my mother was insufferable. I can't imagine dealing with it in high school.
leave a lot of cranberry juice around the house in his teenage years and not ask questions.
Minus the explanations, this sounds like my teenaged years. Not like they ever allowed me out of the house or expected me to be having sex, but they sure liked cranberry juice and not having awkward conversations!
Supportive loving families can still be embarrassing.
No doubt. I suspect, though, that being supported and loved, albeit in an embarrassing way, is much better than having your familiy quietly and politely ignore important stuff.
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Buccos are sucko, but Burgh marblers are the best. Both boys and girls champs from here this year; fifth year in a row at least one of the champs was from here.
No word on whether Amber R/cci, 12, has had her first period yet.
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my mother was insufferable
Boundaries? Her idea of your knowledge and experience? My sister has been funny describing her interactions with my mother, but there's a bitterness too.
my daughter becoming a woman
See, this is what I hate. Periods can start anytime between 12 & 17 (and sometimes earlier, I'm sure). Starting menstruation doesn't make a 12-year-old a woman unless the definition of a woman is defined by her reproductive system.
I have a friend who has talked about her daughter's "breast buds" on twitter. Which made me wince. No doubt she'll twitter her first period too.
And hello Stanley! Though I am anti co-bloggers lately - my blog is supposed to be a fairly-boring-to-everyone-but-me home education blog. My children have posting rights and the 11 year old seems set on turning it into a manga fansite! Pesky kids.
I would think the difference between "little girl" and "young woman" could be fairly defined in terms of her reproductive system, yes.
71 - yup, the average age is getting earlier and earlier.
73 - as the mother of an 11 year old girl, that sounds really yucky to me. It's not some sort of instant transition. There's a bit more to growing up than sprouting breasts and bleeding - there are plenty of 9 and 10 year olds hitting puberty these days and they're not young adults.
I agree with 71.
And 72 is disquieting in a "call the authorities" kind of way.
A 12-year-old isn't a young woman.
Right, asilon, I forgot about that whole estrogen in the water supply & etc. thing.
Pwned by asilon while typing excrutiatingly slowly on my phone.
And 72 is disquieting in a "call the authorities" kind of way.
I think you may have confused "manga" with "hentai."
There's a bit more to growing up than sprouting breasts and bleeding
Of course there is. Nonetheless, it's nice to fucking celebrate young women's steps towards maturity in decent, dignified ways. A champagne toast isn't twittering about someone's breast buds, it isn't gushing about Oh My Little Girl's a Woman Now I'm Going to Cry! and it's a lot better than the hushed, embarrassed, we-won't-let-daddy-know-but-don't-go-swimming-this-week tradition. It's a nice, conventional, adult gesture of adult moments to be proud of. And yes, sometimes it's embarrassing to be toasted. Nonetheless, it's nice.
I'm as anti 'treating kids as mini-adults' as the next person, but I'm not sure I have a problem with the idea of menarche at 12&up as a boundary line. Bar & bat mitzvahs and all that - while our society wants to push adulthood later and later (drinking age 21?)*, the much older human tradition is that the early teen years mark a passage into an older state - 12-y.o.s babysit outside the house, 14-y.o.s can work in family businesses, etc.
The point, obviously, is not that the moment you bleed, or sprout breasts, you're a grown-up. But it's a real transition, and treating it as a mitzvah, and something significant, strikes me as a good thing.
That said, I have no idea what to do about 9-y.o.s getting menses. My understanding is that overfed children is at least as much to blame as environmental estrogen - skinny girls tend to get their periods later, and of course women at the edge of healthy nutrition (for whatever reason) can stop menses. But the cause is irrelevant - it's hard to deal with, I would think.
* While unofficially sexualizing preschoolers, mind you
leave a lot of cranberry juice around the house in his teenage years and not ask questions.
This was my parents' approach to pretty much everything: make necessary supplies conspicuously available, don't say anything, go off in a corner and quietly freak out. Including the day my father called me up at college, sounding stressy and asking me if he should have the condom talk with my brother. I'm sitting there on the phone thinking, wait, he gets talks?
They're STILL operating this way, as evidenced by my brother's mother-in-law telling me that my mom's completely flipping out over my recent birthday. Not totally clear WHY, though I can hazard a few guesses.
I knew a professional ballet dancer who didn't have her period until she quit dancing and gained forty pounds. I think she was 22 or 23.
83: Have you passed a milestone without producing her grandchild? My mom used to go on about that until my siblings obliged with the necessary.
84: At least she was old enough to buy her own damn champagne.
They're STILL operating this way
My family operates like this, only they didn't leave supplies around. We are on a strictly don't ask don't tell arrangement. Personally, I think it is wonderful.
I really don't know what sort of person I would need to become to toast forthrightly my daughter on her nubility. A different sort of person than I am now, that's for sure.
I agree with 71.
Sir Kraab's not going to sleep with you just because you agree with her in the comments, M/tch.
I really don't know what sort of person I would need to become to toast forthrightly my daughter on her nubility.
For starters, a parent with about 12 years of experience under your belt.
85: Closing in on a milestone, yes. And she would go on and on about the lack of grandkids, as would my dad, but I think we've finally trained them off that.
Oh! Also: I welcome our new blogger overlords! WTF took you so long?
I welcome our new blogger overlords!
There are more yet to descend.
My mom used to go on about that until my siblings obliged with the necessary.
My mom used to go on and on about that until the third time I came out of the closet.
For shame, McManly. Gayness is no barrier to grandchildren.
94: There are more yet to descend.
new blogger overlord:Unfogged::Testicle:ice cold water
There are more yet to descend.
Like young testicles!
My now more bourgeouis, but once hippy aunt, told me about a retreat where a bunch of women did some sort of circle dance to celebrate a girl's menarche. She said that it was really moving, but it sounds absolutely awful to me.
I have never had a UTI, and I'm wondering whether I shoudl just start taking a Cranberry Extract (CranMax seems to be the strongest, cheapest one) on a daily basis to try to avoid getting one in the first place.
It is about darn time that Virginia took her rightful place of leadership.
There are more yet to descend.
I figured, but I was trying to be patient and accommodating. I'll let you know how that works out.
For shame, McManly. Gayness is no barrier to grandchildren.
If I had more time I'd try to come up with some childish gag riffing on the rhyming of "anus" and "gayness." It would probably involve the phrase "butt baby."
95: Ha! Not an excuse! When the Offspring mentioned that he was gay, I told him I hoped he'd settle down with a nice boy who wanted to adopt a couple of kids. Tho' he's not currently dating, he has been talking about adopting from East Asia and/or Africa. And he's picked out names. I may survive to be grand-maman yet. In an Auntie Mame sort of way.
Congratulations, Stanley! May you not be driven mad by your new responsibilities in the Unfoggedsphere.
A champagne toast isn't twittering about someone's breast buds, it isn't gushing about Oh My Little Girl's a Woman Now I'm Going to Cry!
It strikes me as exactly the latter.
Boundaries? Her idea of your knowledge and experience?
Less mature, more my-daughter-has-a-UTI-giggle-giggle-hehe-you-newlyweds.
102: If you like cranberry juice, it certainly can't hurt. UTIs aren't fun, and mine was resistant to penicillin, and decided that the kidney were even more fun than the bladder.
Sorry about the curse all the way from your great-grandparents down to your great grandchildren, but you showed up way late. Life isn't fair.
The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and their children's teeth are set on edge.'
It is about darn time that Virginia took her rightful place of leadership.
Actually, will, I was born in Chicago and only later moved to Va., but yes, it certainly is nice to see that the Old Dominion is finally on the map after only 401 years of waiting.
Thanks to all the well wishers. I look forward to the coming turn in spirits as you attempt to drive me away!
how do you do, Mr. Stanley!
hopefully if people stop mentioning ogged alltogether, he'll show up someday
works like rejection, psychologically
Can't you post about something different for a change, Stanley?
Would you quit harping on Stanley to post something different , Tweety?
There are more yet to descend.
How few remain? I think the keymasters have agreed that the comments are the best part of Unfogged. So, in that spirit, eventually all but one commenter will be promoted to the front page. PandæmonuiumHilarity ensues.
The onset of my fiance's menarche was greeted with a large bouquet delivered to the house while she was home sick. The delivery man presented the flowers and said "Congratulations!" as that was on the attached balloon. Oh, God, everybody knows, she thought, and slammed the door and cried.
Congratulations on your internet period, Stanley.
I contracted a UTI in college. Explaining to my dad from the doctor's office (I had no fucking clue why Der Schnitzel was suddenly a blood sausage, so had mentioned it to him), I heard, "You been sticking your wicket where it don't belong?"
81 - it's nice if the child thinks it's nice, I guess. But I wouldn't have wanted it, and I won't be doing it. Isn't one of the nice things about being an adult getting some privacy and having some control over what people know about you? I won't be offering champagne toasts when they lose their virginity either.
Stanley:
Please remember that we do not open the curtains for the world to see our tainted non-Virginia blood.
Unless it's your first period, in which case the world will be outside with a magnum.
I think that I celebrated my daughter's first period with "Oh shit, BR!! We need pantyliners!!"
120: Can you get UTI's from electrical outlets?
I saw Thee Pantyliners the other week at the Beat Kitchen. Middle of the road psycho-billy, with a few Cramps covers thrown in.
124: Pantyliners?? I thought you knew about this stuff.
Remember that whole part in Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret with the belts? I could not figure out what the hell she was talking about.
Yeah, that was kind of antiquated but actually I think my mom had an old one stuffed in a closet somewhere.
I still don't have a clear picture of how the belt thing worked. Thank goodness for modern adhesives. And tampons.
Thank goodness for modern adhesives.
Is there a feminine hygiene museum somewhere? Perhaps near the diaper museum, the handkerchief museum, and the toilet-paper museum, so that someone with those interests could make just one trip.
And maybe an absorbent wipe museum.
It would be a tragedy if part of the Ur-mother experience were to be lost to the Ur-granddaughters.
WTF took you so long?
I wanted them to keep waiting, but no one listened.
go stanley. blog like you've never blogged before.
another great "swimming prank": put bouillon cubes in teh shower heads. [this was from an episode of Scrubs. they called it the "soup shower". hooch is kah-razee.]