Re: Robbed

1

Probably someone from Cato.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 12:20 PM
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ZOMG! Libertarians are expropriating your stuff!

(But seriously, that is super shitty. And depressing that a friend of a friend would do something like that.)


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 12:26 PM
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3

was this a libertarian-related party?


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 12:30 PM
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4

boo. I'm sorry.


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 12:36 PM
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5

'smasher! Give Becks back her money!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 12:43 PM
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6

The laughter of squirrels. (Now that Catherine has moved.)

Seriously, that rots. I'd want to do bad things to the thief.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 12:45 PM
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7

Try to look on the bright side. You could have bought tainted meat with that money.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 12:47 PM
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8

Why does your money have crab lice?


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 12:54 PM
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9

Aw no. As another hostess I know how jacked that is. I mean, everyone with manners knows how jacked that is. But I especially understand the part about how you let that fucker into your home for the purpose of having a good time and s/he stole your stuff?!!

I'm sorry that happened. I hope the thief has a miserable tortured inner life.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 12:58 PM
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10

8: It's the logical result of the Fed's loose money policies.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 1:02 PM
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11

Probably someone from Cato.

[the poignant scene after Becks hunts down the punk who did it.]

Cato Boy: The lights are growing dim Becks. I know a life of crime has led me to this sorry fate, and yet, I blame society. Society made me what I am.
Becks: That's bullshit. You're a white DC blogger just like me.
Cato Boy: Yeah, but it still hurts.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 1:04 PM
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12

||
Over here. Dooming La Roja right now.
|>


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 1:08 PM
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13

They also stole my cell phone. I keep reaching for it to call or text someone and then realizing "oh, wait". And I lost everyone's numbers and stuff. How will I drunk text Labs now??


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 1:09 PM
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4: If you were really sorry, Cecily, you'd pay back the money you stole.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 1:10 PM
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So just use someone else's phone to call you phone, and when the perp picks up, ask them what their name is. Then you'll know who to exact your revenge upon. Simple.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 1:13 PM
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16

Um "your phone", that is.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 1:13 PM
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17

Exactly how you go about giving said perp an incurable infestation of crabs is up to you.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 1:18 PM
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18

Ugh, that's really sucky, Becks.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 1:21 PM
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19

All joking aside, that is indeed really sucky.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 1:22 PM
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Money is one (++ungood) thing, but stealing the cell phone is like hitting someone over the head. It's like getting hit with social amnesia. I think being carefully flayed alive (can't let the thief die of shock) and then have salt rubbed into the entire body would be a mild punishment for this person.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 1:30 PM
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21

Remember, many have sentimental attachments to their money. For an individual $200 can have a significance far beyond its utilitarian equivalent in rat orgasm units.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 1:40 PM
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22

Gah. That sucks, Becks. I often have ridiculous amounts of cash on-hand in my bedroom, because of gig money and Ron-Paul-ian roommates who don't believe in bank accounts and hence pay me all rent and bills in cash. I worry about being robbed all the time. (Not enough to, like, go deposit that shit, but, like, a lot.)


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 1:56 PM
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23

That is indeed really crappy. Time to start asking around about who's recently gotten a "new" phone....


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 1:58 PM
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24

OMG, that's unbelievable. Once, at a party at my apartment, someone stole my blender, squirted a bottle of lotion out on my bed, and drew penises in Sharpie all over the walls, and I can imagine all that seeming funny to them at the time. Ain't nothing funny about stealing money and a phone.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 1:58 PM
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25

I often have ridiculous amounts of cash on-hand in my bedroom

Party at Stanley's!

Too soon?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 1:59 PM
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26

Be sure to report the phone stolen before the malefactor rings up a bunch of international long distance charges.

Alternatively, write a clever bit of txt script to crack the phone and have it ping you with its location.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 2:00 PM
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27

Be sure to report the phone stolen before the malefactor rings up a bunch of international long distance charges.

Alternatively, write a clever bit of txt script to crack the phone and have it ping you with its location.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 2:00 PM
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Stanley, put it under the mattress. You'll find your virility increasing amazingly, and that's the first place burglars look so they won't trash the rest of the house.

If you get an erection lasting more than four hours, however, you should see a doctor. (A cute, young, insatiable one).


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 2:02 PM
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29

This really sucks. I hope there's some way to catch the guy through the phone theft.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 2:04 PM
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30

i'm sorry to hear about the theft, such a bad karma
the thief will get his reward, that's for sure
27 why you'd assume it should be international long distance calls, it's so biased
besides i doubt foreign students use cell phones for the international calls, most people i know use skype


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 2:07 PM
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31

Sucks, sucks, sucks.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 2:08 PM
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32

why you'd assume it should be international long distance calls

Because they're the most expensive.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 2:13 PM
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33

Ah, Becks, that stinks. So sorry to hear it. As everyone else is saying, it especially seems like a slap in the face given your hospitality.

Read, in addition to what teo says in 32, I'd consider that stolen phone are not generally stolen because someone wants a new phone -- they're stolen to be resold, usually very quickly. A phone that is still "active" is more valuable, because expensive calls such as long-distance or 900-number calls can be made from it.

On the topic of storing numbers in one's cell phone, a friend of mine was robbed one night while closing up at a restaurant. The robbery was bad enough, but the group who robbed him went on to go through the cell phone's memory and call members of his family, pretending that they had kidnapped him.

Of course it was 1 a.m. and he didn't even know the thieves were doing that, so he didn't think to call his family to warn them that he was fine. Ugh.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 2:59 PM
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34

Becks, that's horrible. Very sorry to hear it.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 3:02 PM
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35

I went to a party in high school at a kid's house whose parents were out of town.

He wasn't supposed to have a party while the folks were away (of course), so my buddies and I got a kick out of hiding empty beer cans in unlikely places: behind the cereal boxes, in the clothes dryer, etc.

I regret that I never heard of any negative consequences.


Posted by: mistersmed | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 3:06 PM
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my buddies and I got a kick out of hiding empty beer cans in unlikely places: behind the cereal boxes, in the clothes dryer, etc.

I was that kid. Except that instead of hiding beer cans, people tossed them aside in the yard and the field in front of the house. "No problem," I thought, "I'll pick them all up in the morning by daylight, and no one will be the wiser."

Then 6" of snow fell while I slept. D'oh!


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 3:17 PM
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Cato Boy: The lights are growing dim Becks. I know a life of crime has led me to this sorry fate, and yet, I blame society. Society made me what I am.
Becks: That's bullshit. You're a white DC blogger just like me.
Cato Boy: Yeah, but it still hurts.

[later]
Becks: I'm glad I tortured you.

Can your cell phone company track the rough location of the phone, Becks? Does it have GPS?


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 3:23 PM
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38

Sorry to hear about this, Becks. If I were there, and drunk, I'd offer to dance for money until you made it all back.


Posted by: Neil the Ethical Werewolf | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 3:37 PM
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39

Aw, crap, Becks, that's extremely shitty. I hope the thief uses the money to buy something that only brings them tsuris.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 3:57 PM
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40

That sucks profoundly, Becks. I sympathize; as it happens, I was robbed lat night too. I was having a cigarette on my porch after coming home drunk from a party, and a woman passing by persuaded me to smoke her up. She was insulted when I declined her offer of a blowjob, and after she walked off in a huff I discovered that she'd nicked my pot.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 4:05 PM
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41

+s


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 4:13 PM
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42

A woman scorned, Jesus. Your own damn fault. And we thought you were a courtly gentleman.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 4:19 PM
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43

24: Once, at a party at my apartment, someone stole my blender, squirted a bottle of lotion out on my bed, and drew penises in Sharpie all over the walls,

"Avoid people who go to AWB's parties" must be our watchword. AWB: do you think they were neoists?

That's a drag though, Becks. I know I don't need to tell you that calling your phone and screaming at whoever picks up (like the frat boy I saw once at a bar, who had lost his phone, was doing) is probably counter-productive.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 4:19 PM
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44

40: She was insulted when I declined her offer of a blowjob
41: +s

Declining infinite fellatio? Standards are slipping.

Seriously though, JMCQ, that sucks about losing your pots.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 4:22 PM
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45

41 hates it when people nick his pots. Or his post. Lat night was the worst, both at once.


Posted by: U | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 4:26 PM
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46

pwned.


Posted by: U | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 4:27 PM
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47

I hope you get an incurable infestation of crabs.

Forget hope: they should get herpes.

Hrmm. ALL cells should have GPS, effectively.

max
['Hrmmm.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 5:07 PM
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48

That sucks, Becks. I didn't come, I swear.


Posted by: Sybil Vane | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 5:11 PM
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I've been very fortunate in that this is all getting resolved quite easily. Sommer happened to have a backup Sidekick of Tom's that I can borrow until I buy a permanent replacement and the people at T-Mobile were awesome and resolved the whole thing in 5 minutes. They bricked the phone remotely so whoever stole it is SOL about reselling it. They said that nobody had made any calls last night or today. We'd tried calling it but it went right to voicemail and instead sent the theft a bunch of vulgar text messages.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 6:01 PM
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That sucks, Becks. I didn't come, I swear.

I sure am finding it impossible to read this non-sexually.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 6:03 PM
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51

So now we get to the crucial question: what are you going to buy to replace it?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 6:03 PM
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52

51 - That's why I'm borrowing a phone for a few weeks. Gonna get an iPhone when it comes out. Was trying to figure out if I was gonna splurge on one or not but now that I need a new phone anyway...


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 6:07 PM
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48,50: That sucks, Becks. I didn't come, I swear.

And she wasn't at the party either.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 6:51 PM
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54

Ditto what everyone else said: it sucks. Becks and Jesus get robbed in gratitude for their hospitality. Becks, do you have any suspects? I'd totally want to talk to them about my stolen cellphone and what a low down, dirty, scumbag asshole they are...whoever they might be.


Posted by: Annie | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 7:43 PM
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43: Well, they were art students, anyway.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 7:51 PM
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Gonna get an iPhone when it comes out.

I was afraid you were gonna say that.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 7:54 PM
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57

56 - Why do you say you were afraid? Do you think they suck?


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 8:02 PM
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58

57: All cell phones suck, Becks. Those ones suck less.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 8:11 PM
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Becks got robbed and didn't even reject a free blowjob offered out of the goodness of someone's heart. She didn't deserve it at all.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 8:19 PM
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|| I just made a really delicious dip out of green split peas, chickpeas, olive oil, herbs, and cheddar cheese, but it looks, sadly, exactly like vomit. |>


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 8:27 PM
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57: They do, but mostly because I'm so very very sick of everything to do with iPhones. (That said, I realize that the reasons I think iPhones suck make absolutely no difference to 99% of cellphone consumers.)


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 8:27 PM
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I really, really wish somebody would make a cell phone shaped like an old-fashioned handset, or frankly any other way that would actually fit comfortable against the human head. The flat rectangle is so unbelievably inconvenient that I keep being surprised that it endures.

(Yes, yes, technical requirements, blah blah.)


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 8:33 PM
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That sucks, Becks. I didn't come, I swear.

Like others, I feel worse for Dr. Vane than I do for Becks.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 9:20 PM
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64

How about an IPhone shaped like a capital I?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 9:57 PM
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Hang in there, Becks, you'll love the iPhone. Josh is probably a bad person.

Seriously, though, unless the party was unfathomably huge, start asking around and then start shouting around. Find out who did it and then grind their name into the dirt.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 06-22-08 11:57 PM
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I really, really wish somebody would make a cell phone shaped like an old-fashioned handset, or frankly any other way that would actually fit comfortable against the human head.

Your desire can be satisfied in a myriad of ways, Witt.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-23-08 12:03 AM
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This is one of the more graceful solutions.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-23-08 12:04 AM
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Josh is probably a bad person.

"[P]robably"? Clearly I've failed.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 06-23-08 12:04 AM
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I wonder if it was even a party guest. If it was a large party it'd probably be easy to just walk in and act like you're a guest and then sneak off and nab a wallet. With houses with lots of people everyones happy to assume you know one of the other housemates. Sucks either way, but at least this way you don't necessarily have an evil friend.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 06-23-08 12:16 AM
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Witt, I have one of these. The sound is not the greatest, although I got an earlier model, and they may have improved since.


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 06-23-08 12:27 AM
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71

Not only is it hands free, but the antenna is more then twice as far from my head reducing my exposure to harmful cell phone rays by a factor of four!

Alas, it sounds like it's already too late.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 06-23-08 12:52 AM
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72

71: Radiation decreases as the square of distance.


Posted by: W. Breeze | Link to this comment | 06-23-08 5:39 AM
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I really, really wish somebody would make a cell phone shaped like an old-fashioned doughnut radio.

stealing the cell phone is like hitting someone over the head. It's like getting hit with social amnesia

I was surprised how much it bothered me when I lost my cellphone. I felt as if I'd carelessly let a pet run away.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 06-23-08 9:33 AM
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Radiation decreases as the square of distance.

I know, but thanks.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 06-23-08 9:35 AM
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75

Thanks to subsequent posting, I'm now imagining a thief with an incurable infestation of carp.


Posted by: Rah | Link to this comment | 06-23-08 11:26 AM
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76

Late to the thread (per uszh (how to spell first syllable of usual?)), but this whole idea of theft-during-party has been on my mind since we're opening up the SF flat to a bunch of GLBT folks from the GF's office this week. I was worried only because I'd been at a party a few years ago where someone nabbed the hostess's fancy and very expensive Laguiole corkscrew and someone else entirely managed to break a LAVA LAMP which spewed hot red oil all over furniture and, impressively, the ceiling.

That said, I'm worried about people giving into the dogs' entreaties for, well, treaties.


Posted by: Moira | Link to this comment | 06-23-08 12:55 PM
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Shit, why couldn't they steal my cell phone instead? I hate that damned thing. Never get any calls that aren't bad news. Annoyance increases with the square of the distance. Plus I didn't pay for it myself anyway, my employer did.


Posted by: W. Kiernan | Link to this comment | 06-23-08 1:40 PM
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