Technically we are above the flood plain, if you're curious about our insurance policy

I'm having biscuits for breakfast.

Linking to Matt's blog is a fairly clunky contraption, but if that's the extent of your household creativity, I welcome it.

The extent of my household creativity is tempting Heebie's aggressive snark.

I compliment Jammies on his robust nipples.

Unlike his belly button, which required a fig leaf.

3: Was I snarky? I thought I was being motivational. Go get 'em, champ!

I thought I was being motivational.

Most ingenious contraption wins a new Cadillac. second place a set of steak knives, third place your banned.
Always Be Commenting.

I went to a house-buying workshop last summer, and the house inspector they brought in averred that labor-saving devices such as this were generationally marked. His example was using an eye-bolt (like from a hook-and-eye latch) to run a string through for a basement light fixture, so that the light could be turned on right from the foot of the stairs. He was very animated when explaining how this supposedly saved wear-and-tear on the switch, and I was think "Not so great, actually."

Around my place, it's more like labor-increasing devices.

thinking

Just yesterday I resurfaced my lazy susan with a granite rhomboid top; I now use this apparatus as a random number generator.

my apartment for now lacks any sense of design or theme, or purpose, there are just the chairs and a table, with papers in the boxes to recycle in the kitchen and the sofa-bed and the arm-chair with TV in the bedroom and no any decorations or contraptions, very unfeminine and unimaginative, unsettled
though i like interior decoration magazines etc and liked to watch HGTV programs where people reorganize and do makeovers of one's apartment, house, on the budget of a thousand $$ or by theme, so very inventive
or some tv programs when people visit anonymously one's bedroom and tell who is the person, his/her personality traits something, interesting
looks a nice house btw, i like the blue ceilings
recalled the joke about what is to live good like have an american house, a japanese wife, eat french cousine, drive a german car, trade like jews, bath like russians etc etc a lot of stereotypes, forget what was else in there
if to shuffle it becomes like a funny joke

u

I'm sitting in the back seat with a laptop, eating wasabi peas, heading for the beach. Not much labor to save.

10 is funny.

I just saw a billboard that said Undress for Success. So there's that.

My father made a hole in the kitchen floor so that we could send the floor sweeping straight down to a grabage can in the basement.

Many years ago I had a problem with the starter on my bug, and rigged it so instead of turning the key, I touched two wires together on the under the car, just by the driver's door.

17 made me laugh out loud.

My most ingenious contraption is BR. I go to work (comment on Unfogged) and magically things are fixed when I come home. Toilets. Garbage disposals. Ceiling fans. It is truly amazing.

Sexist.

Back in impoverished student days, the windshield wiper motor went out on my junker. I rigged a cord loop tied to the left wiper, into the front left window, out the front right window, and tied to the righter wiper. You could drive along steering with one hand and wiping the windows with the other.

Yes, really.

This is interesting. I feel like I spend a fair amount of time around the house rearranging things so that stuff will work better, but on reflection, it seems that none of it is actually ingenious or labor saving.

It's all more on the level of: Let's find perfectly sized containers to fit on this shelf of our linen closet so that the surplus toiletries and first-aid stuff is all nicely contained and easy to get at! Let's put a handy basket near the door so we can drop our paper recycling in it as we sort through our mail! Let's actually keep the rice cooker out on the counter and put the food processor in the cupboard, because that fits better. Let's get little clips that attach the corners of our duvet to the inner corners of the duvet cover, so it stops sliding around inside.

This isn't a "Men are like this, women are like THIS" thing about back on the veldt or anything. It's just that every woman around here within about 50 miles is like this. None of you guys! Not Everywoman!

BUT: my wonderful and lovely sister organizes the kitchen and everywhere else in terms of what looks right and fits the color scheme. Cute little yellow jars to hold the flower and sugar even though we almost never use flour. And the sugar isn't anywhere near the coffee maker, which is where we do use sugar if we ever do. And a nice looking microwave that fits perfectly in its slot, but blows out the circuit breaker a third of the time. And a succession of ever-cuter, ever-less-functional toasters. And a collection of dysfunctional salt-and-pepper shakers, for meals where salt and pepper are not required.

Yes, I'm a fossil.

My best ever idea came when I was about 10, and it wasn't a contraption so much as a repurposing of waste. We were DIYing a new roof on the house. On the back end of each shingle there was an excess of the material in gray that we had to cut off before putting it on the roof. So we had a bunch of little gray stones on tar paper that were going into the garbage.

At the same time, mom was building a table for the train set and wondering what to do for the gravel under the tracks.

My parents' home (the one where I mostly grew up--they don't live there anymore) was riddled with chutes: laundry chutes from both floors, and a milk chute, a halfway point between outside and inside, where burglars would occasionally reach through and attempt to unlock the adjacent door. This would have been a great savings in labor for the burglars, had we not had a semivicious border collie, who rejoiced in the opportunity to bite someone and actually be praised for it.

I don't have any inhouse labor saving devices, but I did just electrify my bicycle so that I can use it to commute to work. My colleague said, "Cool! That seems like something they'd do in India."

ui i meant in cuisine
still no more photos? maybe i'll post my bare apartment photos on flickr, after some good cleaning maybe, though it's not that dirty, just unorganised and soulless, unpersonified i mean
though if there are no contraptions, i don't see a point of posting it too of course

We need to have a dehumidifier running in the basement 24/7 to avoid water damage. We take advantage of the surplus dehumidification by running laundry lines down there.

The former owners of our house were huge gardeners, practically permaculturalists before the word was invented. They raised enough vegetables for seven growing children, gathered rainwater, etc.

We are gradually recreating what they did. The huge disc of daffodils and other perennial flowers just needed a little weeding to become a great display again.

Digging in the backyard is always an archaeological adventure. We find layers of landscaping fabric. Old rotted hoses from the irrigation system and lots of bricks, flagstones, and cinder blocks. We're using the old rock stuff to make little retaining walls and walkways.

I had a bug that was rigged just like Nápi's. When the solenoid started to go out I had to slide under the car and bang on it with a hammer, and then touch the wires together. Then the starter motor went bad, so I had to slide under the car, bang on the solenoid, hold a knife across the starter connections (with sparks! fun!), and then touch the wires together. That was when I got a copy of the idiot's guide and learned how to replace the starter.

Until I was 8, I lived on the top floor unit of an old triple-decker in Providence, RI, near Brown. The front stairs ran along the inside of a square shaft, with an open space in the middle. I rigged up a pulley and string attached to a coffee can so that one could put mail in it, from the first floor where it was put through the mail slot, and then lift it up from the third floor. It was never clear exactly what labor was being saved, but I liked it.

a hole in the kitchen floor so that we could send the floor sweeping straight down

Every place I lived in Athens featured a drain in the middle of the bathroom floor, so that a) shower curtains were not strictly necessary (which was good, because shower curtains seemed not to have taken hold in Greece) and b) cleaning the bathroom was not unlike washing a car. A squeegee on a broom-length handle was standard household equipment.

The main downside (aside from, well, having to squeege the bathroom every time you took a shower) is that in one apartment the drain was apparently linked directly to a hive of massive cockroaches.

Here's a picture of the bike with the conversion kit installed. A little on the over-logoed side, I think. I'm considering duct taping over the name. Making it look a little shabbier might help to make it less stealworthy too, I suppose.

i use pinecones and sometimes old candle stubs to start fires in my fireplace, instead of commercial fire-starters. it works really well. however, this might count as eco-friendly more than labor-saving, because you do still have to gather the pinecones...

I cut a rectangular flourescent lens into pieces to protect the painted shelves in my project area (seen here). I have a big plan for an updated ice-storage system for burning man, but I haven't implemented it yet.

Careful, mmf!. Fire often opens up the pine cones and allows the seeds to take root. You could turn your chimney into a Christmas tree.

You forgot to mention the killer robot, Sifu. That's going to save you a lot of work.

I didn't so much invent as apply. The kitchen in my apartment was laid out for the builder's convenience and not with any eye to its use. To rectify part of the problem with this, I have installed a bunch of GRUNDTAL over the sink: at the top is a shelf with hooks for pots, etc. (it's good my cookware nests pretty well); below that is a rail with a dish drainer. Pot lids are stored behind that rail.

There's another shelf over the stove that gets used well during pot-intensive meal preparation, but just for general kitchen crap piling otherwise. The area over the sink is much more heavily used as I thought it would be.

18 is exactly like one of those defenses of free trade that libertarians like to whip out. "Imagine someone invented a device that turns wood and corn into cars and electronics. That would be awesome, right? Well, we already have that device. It's called free trade!"

34: very true. The lighting system for the Baconator involved a lot of ingenuity; we had to build our own router jig, source the LED modules, program the microcontroller, etc. etc. but it certainly wasn't labor saving.

I painted little red crosses at the bottom of my teacups, so I would know when to pour more tea.

mcmc:

how far do you ride?

25&26: We take advantage of the surplus dehumidification by running laundry lines down there.

Are you living in my house, rob? We do the same and my yard is also a continuing archaeological dig, though it reveals more prosaic objects such as the old coal pile, foundations of a chicken coop or other outbuildings and where they buried the extra shingles etc.

I had a turkey right outside my side door today (a mother with chicks was across the street but didn't come over). In the background of two of the pictures you can see a repurposed turntable cover, now being used as an in-ground bird bath (also some deer-cropped plants). I call the area my "bird garden", in an attempt to turn around family disapproval of my cutting down a huge white pine there that had overgrown the house.

The commute is only about 10 miles round trip, but I never used to do it, largely because I live on top of a really steep hill, and whenever I took the bike out I always ended up on foot, dragging the bike up three long blocks, at the end of the ride. Not what I want to do at the end of the day, really. The kit lets me bike for 18 miles (my longest trip so far) get all tired out, and then zip up the hill at the end of it.

I've moved beyond Napi's and Jesus McQueen's methods and no longer need to use the wires at all: basically by enabling a ride sharing program that consists of me jumping into people's cars at supermarkets or crosswalks and then showing them a nifty all purpose ride pass I've designed I can get transportation at a fraction of the normal costs.

42: That was you, was it? You owe me $5 for gas.

(Heebie, your house is extremely cute.)

Mine is pretty trivial. Our food/yard waste bin was too stinky to keep in the garage, but the driveway sloped too steeply to put the bin there, and there's literally nowhere else on the front of the lot to put it, and putting in the back yard meant a huge hassle on garbage night getting it through the garage past the car.

Solution: install a big hook in the wall at the top of the driveway and hook the handle of the bin on it to keep it from rolling downhill. It's proven robust against wind so far, but we haven't seen how it performs in a big SF earthquake.

very interesting, mcmc. I had not run across that kit.

I'm buying you a big orange flag for your bike, though. Don't want people to not see you.

OT: it is blackberry season in Virginia. mmmmmm so good.

Are you living in my house, rob?

Yes. Can you pick your dirty socks up off the couch? Its disgusting.

I once saw a wild turkey guy doing his courtship routine outside one of the turkey factories here. Little did he know.

I'm buying you a big orange flag for your bike, though. Don't want people to not see you.

Aww, daaaad!

46: it is blackberry season in Virginia. mmmmmm so good.

Just starting here, I think that is what lured the turkey in 40, it ate a number of them in my "bramble" patch. (For us humans, I have some netted in behind the garage, along with some golden raspberries .. which are fabulous.)

I found my house's backyard kitchen midden (the house was built in 1911) while gardening and retrieved a bunch of stuff, including pieces of a crock lid that I glued back together; one of these days I'll get around to making a coffee table/display case for it and a few other things I've unearthed, including an 1899 dime from the parking strip and a token from the local labor federation. I also found an intact castor oil bottle, but as I found it with my spading fork, it ceased to be intact at the moment of finding.

My house also used to have a dumb waiter, which I'd restore if there were any point in it. I'll have a wall open on both floors when I finishing taking out the chimney, so maybe I'll put in a laundry chute.

47: Yes. Can you pick your dirty socks up off the couch? Its disgusting.

It certainly is, but don't worry, the socks were already pretty dirty when I left them there.

it is blackberry season in Virginia

This morning's bowl of cereal involved a handful of blackberries from the yard. Christ but they were good.

There's a blackberry bush at the bicycle bridge near Alma between Palo Alto and Menlo Park. Fact.

We haven't lived in our apartment long enough to have any proper contraptions. The closest thing I can think of is our strategically placed mirror on one of the bathroom walls. See, our bathroom is a long rectangle, with a shower wall forming an L shape within it. The window and the overhead light illuminate the toilet and sink area, but the bathtub and shower end up being sort of dark. Hence the mirror. It's a bit small, but cute! and sort of functional!

Handle thingie broke on one of the toilets, so I have to reach inside to pull the chain by hand. This washes one hand, the important one, every time I pee! Pretty clever, huh.

You don't need to wash your hands when you pee.

unless there's someone you're trying to impress.

This morning's bowl of cereal involved a handful of blackberries from the yard. Christ but they were good.

I moved to a new neighborhood and there are mulberry trees here and there, causing me great excitement. then what should I find in the New York Times but an article about which trees are considered weeds, listing the mulberry as one of such trees. If they are such a pest, how come I did not see any around, for the seven years I lived in other neighborhoods in this city?

58: It's an insidious plot by the silk cartel.

The parking spot outside CA's parents' condo in Chicago is under a mulberry tree. Our car is coated in jam and the floormats are now purple.

That must be one delicious car.

We haven't lived in our apartment long enough to have any proper contraptions. The closest thing I can think of is our strategically placed mirror on one of the bathroom walls. See, our bathroom is a long rectangle, with a shower wall forming an L shape within it. The window and the overhead light illuminate the toilet and sink area, but the bathtub and shower end up being sort of dark. Hence the mirror. It's a bit small, but cute! and sort of functional!

Also, you can watch your partner shower while pretending to so something important at the sink.

Would that someone would come lick it clean! I was also scooping handfuls of fermenting berries out of the trunk.

mulberries are like a kind of gas--they find their way in everywhere.

I'm not going to mention what subject Salon has an article/interview on today. (Read the one with Alex Gibney on Gonzo instead.)

mulberry pollution?

Naked people with garbage cans? (a wetriffs spinoff?)

I'm not going to mention what subject Salon has an article/interview on today

My mom emailed me about it. I rolled my eyes and was like, god, that's so six months ago.

I made two lamps. Are those contraptions?

||

Could one of the Flophouse people request that ggles either moderate his comments or close them down? Jesus, he gets the morons. Intelligent discussion becomes impossible. I occasionally troll the trolls, but there's no use trying to discuss anything interesting there.

In the blog world, moderation without moderation draws trolls. Probably extremism without moderation does too, but most extremists are smart enough to moderate.

|>

69: So moderation in the face of extremism is no vice?

66 contd.

I finally realized what I was thinking of!

yes, it still exists!

Moderate blogs require moderated comment threads. Drum and Crooked Timber eventually figured that out. Yggles still hasn't. Jesus fuck what a bunch of morons he gets.

Is 57 correct? I wonder about that.

65: The blog is six months ago. The book is right now.

I wash my hands while I pee.

57 is not correct. Even if you don't pee on your hands, they pick up a lot of germs by being around your private parts. EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS BEFORE RETURNING TO WORK

So if someone else pees on your hands, you're A-OK?

I wash my hands after I pee. Otherwise they smell like my crotch. Seemingly TMI, but apparently not.

Ah, but whose hands must employees wash?

I have crafted a felt harness which I slip around the shaft of my penis, with a lead that runs over my underwear and hangs loosely from the button at the top of my pants; when I need to pee, I unzip (or unbutton, as the case may be) and with the same movement draw the lead down and am then perfectly poised to maneuver my penis in whatever wise is most suitable for the total urination situation. Replacing it within its vestment is a little more complex, but I have become practiced in the art and, thus, never need wash my hands after pissing.

79 is both too much information, and yet, not enough.

I have video of the device in action. $24.95.

Are you mad? I would never pay that kind of... Okay, where do I send the check.

I outsourced my urination to Cambodia.

Even if you don't pee on your hands, they pick up a lot of germs by being around your private parts.

It seems as if the reverse would be true. As a man once volunteered to me in the bathroom of an Italian restaurant, "I never touch clean meat with dirty hands."

79: I have crafted a felt harness which I slip around the shaft of my penis
Doesn't that tend to catch on your Prince Albert?

I keep my Prince Albert in your mom's can, minnie.

||

Right now I'm sitting in Earnest Folksinger Cafe working on my online course, and the Earnest Folksingers have just started singing. I could go someplace else to work, but then I wouldn't be able to have beer. The Earnest Folksingers are sweet, but it is hard to concentrate when they make a little canon out of the line "Love will be the war in Palestine." The next song, the promise, will be about peace in Iraq.

|>

Could one of the Flophouse people request that ggles either moderate his comments or close them down?

Moderating Yggles' comments sounds like as much work for as little gratification as w-lfs-n's cock harness.

||

Apparently the revolution is here, and I know its right.

|>

86: Yes, that reminds me that I noticed your mother's refrigerator running this morning when I let myself out, ben, perhaps you'd better go and catch it.

89: Where's Bob when you need him?

||

And: hi from Germany! Mainz is boring! German academics with bad presentation styles are even worse than American ones!

|>

I'm not going to mention what subject Salon has an article/interview on today.

Elvis Mitchell has a television show now?! Huh. [Serious comment.]

"Moderating" just means "deleting". Not a difficult job.

Normal urine is sterile.

John's urine is an entirely different story.

Normal commenting is urine.

Nothing is urine or mine, Minny, it's all ours, because we're all brothers and sisters.

||

The Earnest Folksingers are now performing a song about the giant puppet they made to bring to protests.

It is, for no particular reason I can discern, in Spanish.

|>

Kobe knows spanish is the language of the future, rob helpy-chalk

||

I think Arabic should be the new token foreign language in swipple folksongs.

|>

hi from Germany! Mainz is boring!

But I'm sure you're eating lots of stuff you've never seen on a menu in the States!

(More seriously, what is it with that part of Germany? I've never heard anyone say anything positive about it.)

98: And yet it has no smell.

the house inspector they brought in averred that labor-saving devices such as this were generationally marked

Certainly devices that involve string or wire. My grandfather made something that walks the line between "labor-saving" and "Rube Goldberg." The screen door at the main entrance to his house is located such that it's a bit of a pain to open; since family often comes to stay at his place, there can be high traffic as they shlep luggage.

By the screen door, there is a makeshift pedal. Stepping on the pedal tilts a tiny wooden shelf on which rests a three-pound iron bolt. The bolt slides off the shelf, and pulls down a string which goes through at least two eye bolts and pulls open the screen door. Since the bolt pulls down continuously, the screen door will stay open until someone resets the device.

103: I should have said "ourn", to fit the series.

104: People in the olden days certainly liked their string, didn't they? My grandmother had an entire drawer full of nothing but string. Of course, you tell that to young people nowadays and they don't believe you!

||

Tyson Homosexual Gay cramped up during the 200. Too bad, since he would've won. Now he'll only be doing the 100 and some relays.

|>

People in the olden days certainly liked their string, didn't they?

Are you telling me you don't have a junk drawer full of string, rubber bands, misc. ribbons (yes), shoelaces, various fasteners ... um, old doorknobs and faucet handles, curtain rod holders, extra shower curtain loop things ... and a couple of those flat rubber discs you use to open stubborn jars?

Phaw, go on!

Phaw s/b Pshaw

Our old apartment was rather on the small side. We didn't really have enough room for our bookcases. We put one in front of the light switch in the bedroom and had to make a string pulley to actuate the switch.

104: That's great. Anything homemade, yet involving a foot pedal, is cool.

Mainz is boring!

Jesus Christ, tell me about it. I spent a year there. Drink a Weinschorle for me!

String and eyes are underrated.

Eyes?

Manual dexterity is underrated as well.

I have just dropped a very heavy glass and wrought-iron candle-holder on my foot.

String : Hook :: Eyes : Eyes

40% of the family (including me) are suffering with intense summer colds, the deer got through my netting and ate the leaves off of some young cherry trees, Gonzo is not playing here for weeks, my head hurts, my feet stink and I don't love America enough. </whine>

(But good Wimbeldon women's final, hummingbird on the honeysuckle, turkeys and living in a time of enough cognitive surplus and the means to inflict my complaints on strangers the world over.)

My father made a hole in the kitchen floor so that we could send the floor sweeping straight down to a grabage can in the basement.

God, my husband wanted to do this in our last house. In the *middle* of the kitchen floor. I told him hell no.

One of our ingenious devices is that the wireless transmitter for the modem and all associated cords are hidden inside a big paper lamp that's like two feet wide by four or five feet high. This is great at hiding cord hell, but shit when the modem goes out and you have to carefully untangle the whole thing without ruining the paper shade. All the cords go through to a little crate that we got from Ikea that I think is supposed to be some kind of outdoorsy end table; in any case, it has holes in the sides and the cords can run inside to where the actual modem and the stereo receiver are.

There's also an ingenious sign on the bathroom door that says "please close bathroom door to keep mice safe from cat." And for a while I had the garage door opener fastened to my bike handlebars, but it's gotten lost or something.

There's also an ingenious sign on the bathroom door

This is ingenious? I have to offer harsh words to my roommate every couple of weeks about closing the bathroom door, since the elderly cat will, guaranteed, piss in there otherwise. Signs do not seem to work.

I'd adore a hose downable bathroom at this point, complete with central floor drain.

And yet! The raspberries are almost ripe. Stormcrow, I don't know how you still have honeysuckle up there; ours passed a while back. You're not that far away.

Today we solved the problem of our kitchen having neither enough counter space for a spice rack nor enough cabinet space for a spice shelf.

Behold!

Huzzah!

104: Certainly devices that involve string or wire. My grandfather made all sorts of gadgets out of string & wire plus the metal from coffee cans, tea containers, and whatever. I remember furnace dampers, weighted things that closed the screen door, and a toy steam shovel he made for me.

I think it was just the mechanics of the times. He owned a silk mill in Paterson, NJ up until just past WW2 and I remember the huge electric motor at one end and the power transmission via shafts, pulleys, and wide leather belts hung from the ceiling. That's the way water-powered industry initially converted, they didn't stick an electric motor in each machine.

I made some swell cd cases.

You know what's good? Toast and peanut butter with fresh raspberries on top. I believe I have smacked my foot something good.

A friend has written with a new tagline, as follows:

"In matters of style, swim with the current; In matters of principle, stand like a rock." -- Thomas Jefferson

I protest. Maybe I should start a blog.

Today we solved the problem of our kitchen having neither enough counter space for a spice rack nor enough cabinet space for a spice shelf.

I could not figure out what was going on in those pictures at all, but then I saw the tags. Velcro! Cunning.

I solved the problem of our house's not having enough smaller houses inside it.

The spice tins are attractive. I confess I use an old 2-tiered lazy susan recovered from my mom (or my grandmother) in the cabinet for spices. Do they even make lazy susans any more?

No. Only industrious Susans are fit for 21st-century capitalism! Twirling, twirling, twirling towards profit!

I enjoy the twirling.

I always thought a "lazy susan" was something that sits on the dinner table so you don't have to pass things, whereas a "turntable" was something that sits in the cabinet so you can access things at the back of the cabinet. But this is probably idiosyncratic nomenclature.

No rube-goldberg contraptions, but we've got a kick-vac in the kitchen. It's the kind of basically mundane household device/feature/thing that people think is neat once they discover it.

My mom has a 3-tiered AND a 2-tiered lazy susan in the cabinets. She has silly things on there, and they're completely uncategorized (you will find the cinnamon next to the "italian seasoning", the "seasoned salt" and the ground cloves, ergh), but still. Though it's hard to cook at her house.

128: That's the way I'd use them and hear them. However, I'm ancient and usages change.

you will find the cinnamon next to the "italian seasoning", the "seasoned salt" and the ground cloves

The horror! I'm glad the labels on the spices in my photos are kind of blurry.

We have a scarecrow in the living room. He takes care of the children. And keeps the crops safe.

something that sits on the dinner table so you don't have to pass things

This I don't think I've seen in many an age, if ever. Perhaps during the summers when condiments were a staple at cookout type events.

Maybe people don't use condiments as much any more. (Butter, salt and pepper?)

You're supposed to have the hydroponic setup in a dark and controlled environment, not the living room.

135: We've bricked over the windows. But thanks for the concern.

132: Did I say something wrong? I just meant that I generally have my spices divided into families, sweet and savory. It's easier.

No, parsimon, people don't use butter, salt, or pepper anymore.

I arrange my spices by race.

Pepper leads to diverticulosis, butter to high cholesterol, and salt to high blood pressure.

Me want.

Why settle for blocks when you could be making wire helices, ben?

I don't divide my spices. Not least because there are a lot of favorites that work with either sweet or savory, depending.

That plus it just isn't all that hard to look through. Plus, it's impossible to get one's partner to adopt the exact same categorizing instincts as oneself, so at some point you just give up.

No, parsimon, people don't use butter, salt, or pepper anymore.

You put them out on the table at each meal as a matter of course, ben?

140: Not necessarily.

140: Not necessarily.

ALWAYS

You put them out on the table at each meal as a matter of course, ben?

I might if I ever had guests for a meal.

Thanks for reminding me of my soul-crushing loneliness.

I am pleased with how this game turned out.

You might have more guests for more meals if you offered to cook for the guests you occasionally have.

143.2: Yeah, I've been lying all along, actually: I have a full cabinet for spices and such, not just a lazy susan, and there is kind of an arrangement. If my housemate buries the jars of oregano and basil and cumin in among the brown sugar and baking powder on the top and middle shelves, I'll get annoyed, and so would he, actually. They go on the bottom shelf. So it works out okay.

Thanks for reminding me of my soul-crushing loneliness.

Were we ever to have dinner together, I wouldn't need to see butter, salt and pepper on the table.

I always thought a "lazy susan" was something that sits on the dinner table so you don't have to pass things, whereas a "turntable" was something that sits in the cabinet so you can access things at the back of the cabinet.

I can tell you that, in western PA, professional usage doesn't distinguish between the two; cabinetmakers build corner cabinets with "lazy susans" in them.

I'm pretty sure - but at the wrong computer to check - that the CAD program I use uses the term "lazy susan" for cabinetry as well, but I could be wrong on that.

Our spices are in racks only 5-6 jars long, and so are carefully subdivided: dried herbs, ground spices (mostly cooking), ground spices (mostly baking), whole spices (baking), whole spices (Asian), peppers, and misc.

The system doesn't quite hold up, due to overlap and the fact that 6 isn't quite enough for some categories, but it's good enough that my (mostly) unlabeled jars don't cause me trouble (usually).

I love parentheses.

PS - AB could drop our baby any hour now. Iris was resolutely late, so this sensation is new to me. Really freaky. I'm starting to understand the scheduled induction.

150: Oh! But that's not a spice cupboard. That's more keeping the spices with the other stuff but just keeping them on their own shelf, which you'd have to do otherwise you'd never find them without hauling all the big things out.

152 is me, as I guess the PS indicated. Anyway, catching up a bit before bed:

His example was using an eye-bolt (like from a hook-and-eye latch) to run a string through for a basement light fixture, so that the light could be turned on right from the foot of the stairs.

We had this! So you could turn on/off a fixture at the bottom of the steps when you were done in the basement. The odd thing is that the fixture in question is a couple feet from a fixture that is operated from the switch at the top of the stairs - so the string was mostly redundant with the switch.

String is never redundant.

OK, last one tonight: RFTS at 20 is me, too! Although I did realize one such device, which I will document and post tomorrow (if no babies arrive).

I have a spice rack which came with spice bottles always already alphabetized (so: not divided into sweet and savoury or anything fancy like that), and then a lazy susan for the overflow. Probably I only use about six spices on a regular basis, though, which makes me feel like Marge Simpson. My goal in life, when it comes to spice storage (yeah: dream the big dream, baby!), is to get Mr MC to stop buying those godawful plastic keg o' spices that you can buy on the street corners of NYC. I mean, what? are we running a boys' boarding school here, or perhaps a summer camp? We just don't need that much turmeric, and it's not as though that stuff doesn't go stale, after all.

Good luck with baby, JRoth!

to get Mr MC to stop buying those godawful plastic keg o' spices

Yeah, trying to get Mr. B. to remember that while he grew up in a family of five, we are now a family of three, is very difficult. Sigh.

(More seriously, what is it with that part of Germany? I've never heard anyone say anything positive about it.)

OK, I lied abut bed: "that part of Germany" defined how broadly? Koblenz and the Rhein and Mösel valleys are wonderful. Limburg an der Lahn, less than an hour north of there, is absolutely delightful. Do you just mean that Mainz and Frankfurt are pits? Because I think that we (as Americans) have to take responsibility on that one.

153: Yes, sorry. But even the spice-like ... okay, okay, spices versus herbs, okay? I still like not to see (in my mother's cabinet) the garlic salt (oh) next to the cinnamon next to the mustard seed. On the lazy susan. I just keep spinning round and round, poking, and finally asking: where's the oregano? Do you have any dried basil?

152: corner cabinets with "lazy susans" in them

Oh, these are great.

Good luck, good luck, with the baby!

Go baby!

Our spices are completely higgledy-piggledy.

OT: There are reasons that I'm not the person to bring this to you. But still, I have an obligation to present, for your viewing pleasure, Super Tool! I think that photo would have won the pretentious quote thread, a picture being worth a thousand words.

159 Written by someone who has never had the bad luck of living in Koblenz. Sure, the setting is gorgeous, but in it is a boring, unattractive dead little city. Frankfurt beats it hands down. Not that that's saying much.

The photo actually makes him look like he's playing dress up. How old is he? He looks so young and chubby.

157: always already alphabetized

After all this time? You're a better man than I, Eugene.

Yoo looks that way in every photo I've seen. But I'm mostly text-based, it seems. I do wonder whether there will be fallout I can possibly follow (text-based as I am) from the Aspen Ideas Thingumbob.

He looks so young and chubby.

I just want to rendition squeeze his cheeks until he screams and loses consciousness.

He's either 40 or 41, I'm pretty sure.

Yoo should be hounded out of civil society, and his name struck off the 'A' lists for all the better restaurants on both coasts. I'm saying, he should have to eat at the Taco Bell in Wichita, Kansas for the rest of his natural life, and that's even before he begins a lengthy sentence in purgatory. Which I suspect would be incompatible with his continuing to hold lifelong tenure at a major university, but hey, what do I know? I'm still struggling with the finer points of spice storage.

He doesn't look it. He looks too young to be qualified to practice law, let alone be all law professory and evil.

I have, on at least one occasion, eaten at a Taco Bell in Wichita. And I'm roughly Yoo's age. And a professor. Coincidence? You decide.

Oh, just stop alphabetizing and you'll be fine, MC.

If we must talk about Yoo, he should be struck off the A lists, yes, which is why I wonder why he's at that fucking Aspen Ideas thing. I haven't worried enough about it to check, but friends of the blog are involved in that affair as well, and so, if they care, it would be interesting to know who organized that thing, who was influential in its invite list, and so on.

Oh Ari, o pulse of my heart, always with the conspiratorial whispers, eh? But then again, just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you, after all. Well, of course I didn't mean you. No, really. Have a doughnut. Maple-glazed. No, really.

I have such a bad reaction to talk of doughnuts. I really do. They're so bad for you, and I do not like them. If someone offers me a doughnut I have a hard time. I think this makes me a bad person or something.

Not a bad person, no, just a bit deprived. Though, if you don't like them (unthinkable, really), I suppose you're not even deprived. Still, what's not to like? They're delicious. And no worse for you than any other treat that's really horrible for you.

why he's at that fucking Aspen Ideas thing

No way, he's at that boondoggle? I expect all our bloggerly friends to heavily criticize him. Or at least ignore him. Or certainly to pause in a significant way before responding to his comments. Or to indicate later at drinks that no more breadrolls will be passed to him at breakfast tomorrow. Unless he asks for one, obvs.

Thinking about Yglesias, who I genuinely admire, being on a panel with David Brooks at Aspen made me glad, and not for the first time, that I don't live on the East Coast. I find it so much easier to write scathing honest book reviews, knowing that I won't happen upon the authors of the books in question at a cocktail party some time or another.

Put another way, I think it will be hard for Yglesias and Ezra Klein and all the other young turks to maintain a critical distance from that which they despise. Especially when there's rolls and butter to be passed to that which they despise, and those rolls and butter are being provided by corporate sponsors at tony resorts located nearly two miles above sea level. It's a tough one, the whole being-embracedcoopted-by-the-establishment thing. Come to think of it, maybe I wish that I lived on the East Coast, after all. Writing honest book reviews doesn't seem nearly as important as eating delicious rolls in Aspen. Coot me, establishment!

"Co-opt." Though "coot's" also good.

They're so bad for you, and I do not like them.

Eh. Of course you're not a bad person for not liking them, but bad for you how? They're less bad for you (less laden in fat and calories, I mean) than a bagel or even a "healthful" muffin, and they bring such joy to your neighbours to the north (who, on average, can expect to live longer, and at higher rates of literacy: just saying!). I remember this girl in grade 11, Mima (Jemima? I never thought to ask) Monaghan ate 11 doughnuts at one sitting, and she was as skinny as a rail, but that was a bit much for me and sort of made me feel a bit sick-like to my stomach. But a doughnut is mostly a thing that is good, and only half the calories of a bagel (which is also a good thing, especially when lightly toasted and spread with cream cheese).

"Co-opt."

Or: "coöpt"!

Surely these claims about the caloric content of bagels and doughnuts are highly situation-dependent.

I recently had half of a respectably-sized glazed buttermilk and I'd be shocked if the whole thing were less caloric than a bagel of modest proportions. (And a good bagel should be of modest proportions.)

Or: "coöpt"!

Oh yes, certainly. Our artisanal ales and lagers are only brewed in small batches, and in accordance with the ancient Bavarian purity laws, jewboy.

Co-opt works quite nicely, I think, young Ben.

They're less bad for you (less laden in fat and calories, I mean) than a bagel or even a "healthful" muffin

Is that so? Okay, I didn't know that. But they taste of empty white sugar. Bad. Empty calories. Like eating a twinky. I just have a really bad response, and would be much more likely to have a healthful muffin if I'm in the market. Possibly I just don't like fried sweet things. I don't really like sugar much.

Ben is less modest than I in his protestations.

Jewboy. Sheesh, MC, please uphold the honor of Canadian anti-Semites. Like the ones that threw a brick through my grandparents' little shop on Rue Cotes-de-Neiges in 1953. They were right, of course: grandma and grandpa were accumulating property (well, not right then, but later).

I guess it wasn't a "Rue" back then, though.

For this, 176:

No way, he's at that boondoggle?

It's a bit shocking, isn't it? Or not. I really don't know much about it. Someone should be tracking Yoo's engagements overall.

The glazed buttermilk I had sure didn't taste of empty white sugar. Mmm, mmm.

Co-opt works quite nicely, I think, young Ben.

Your mom works quite nicely, but I still let her have a rest now and then.

Like the ones that threw a brick through my grandparents' little shop on Rue Cotes-de-Neiges in 1953.

Mother of Ste. Anne de Beaupré, but that's pretty fucking intense. Shit. Well, now I feel guilty, of course. My family is maybe only passively anti-Semitic, though. Better a Jew than a Baptist, is what my RC mother might say.

But seriously, how awful and scary for your grandparents. Wow.

You have nothing to feel guilty about, MC, except using a lower-case "j". And really, my grandparents had been through far worse. Which is why they were in Montreal for that important event. Regardless, they remained, until death (grandpa) and dementia (grandma) would no longer allow it, incredibly loyal Canadians. They weren't too fond of the Quebecois, though, truth be told.

187.1: I admit I keeping thinking chiefly of the puffy Dunkin' Donuts type of doughnuts people tend to pass around with glee. Even the denser ones are just kind of gross. Personal preference, I guess.

Also: Well, now I feel guilty, of course.

This goes without saying, right? I mean, I feel guilty for having made you feel guilty. But we've seen this movie and danced this dance before, haven't we?

191 was me. But I felt so much shame that I had to comment anonymously. After minutes of reflection, though, I've concluded that I must own my comments, I must make them mine.

They weren't too fond of the Quebecois, though, truth be told.

Yeah. Remember that kerfuffle with Mordecai Richler, when he said that back in the day his people were already reading and writing and producing literature whilst the francophones were still wearing animal skins and rooting for nuts and berries in the forest? Ha! I loved how he refused to pander to the PC pieties, and always spoke his mind. For real, Quebec is the most anti-Semitic province in Canada, so.

Eh. Conversation with my mother in New Hampshire a week or two ago:

Mom: Did I tell you the gas station we went to is run by Indians, they have all sorts of spices and foods inside. Nice people, though.

Me: Though?

Mom (long pause, bewildered look): Oh.

118: I don't know how you still have honeysuckle up there; ours passed a while back.

This is red trumpet honeysuckle (Lonicera sempervirens), I don't pay very much attention to bloom dates from year to year, perhaps it is late this year because it has been rainy and cloudy here for the better part of the past month.

We don't have any home-made labour saving devices around the house that I can think of.* This is giving me an inferiority complex.

I've done a fair bit of 'hacking' my various guitars: fitting a piezo and a magnetic pickup to my archtop, Bigsby on my LP copy, heavy rewiring of the latter [active preamp], etc. That's not labour-saving, though.

Our last car but one had been buggered about with quite a bit. It got stolen and trashed, so I had to replace the ignition barrel and a bunch of other parts, however, because it was a 20 year old car, the new bits were from a slightly later model. So I had to cut all the connectors off and resolder on the old connectors [which had different colour-coding and less wires, etc], it worked, though sometimes the central locking went crazy and I had to dismantle the driver's side door to reset it. Ditto the windscreen wipers, which were held together with rubber bands and glue in places glue was not supposed to go.

But domestic stuff, nothing.

* our place is too small to really need much in the way of labour-saving ..

I am disgusted by healthful muffins. I'd much rather have a nice rectangle of fiber rye crispbread. But to each his own.

Cock-opted could be a spelling, for certain situations.

Koblenz and the Rhein and Mösel valleys are wonderful.

Hoping to take the train up to Koblenz sometime in the next week or two. I'm having trouble figuring out how much I should be working/paying attention to the seminar I'm doing here, and how much I should be out seeing the sights.

Do you just mean that Mainz and Frankfurt are pits?

Pits isn't exactly the right word (and I'm talking just about Mainz here -- I don't know from Frankfurt), but there just doesn't seem to be anything of particular interest here. Which is to say: It's walkable, and on a beautiful river, and has great public transportation. Your normal German city. (Yeah, I know, my life sux so bad.) But I asked the students here at this program if there's a restaurant they particularly like, or if there's a bar or cafe that's a student hangout and... they all looked at each other and shrugged.

Maybe the town is delightful but they're boring?

This seems like the time to ask Ari what Leonard Cohen is really like.

From the link in 162: where he worked on issues involving foreign affairs, national security and the separation of powers.

Kinda like sayin': "Vlad Ţepeş ... was voivode of Wallachia from 1456-62, where his work revolved around Ottoman affairs, national security and POW issues."

Blume! Take the bus over to Weisbaden and go to the nudie baths! There's also marginally more nightlife in Weisbaden. There's a decent restaurant in Mainz that's taken over a former church (with vaulted ceilings and everything), not too far from the municipal building. There are a couple of nightclubs near the river, but Jesus they were depressing. Otherwise, see if you can find a wine festival somewhere around the region; at least at those things people go outside, get really drunk, and sing a lot.

Maybe the town is delightful but they're boring?

Everybody in that town seemed to belong to a number of little civic hobby groups, in which they pursued some weird leisure activity with great passion and organisation. Speaking of which, Blume, there are a whole bunch of those strange little garden-houses outside of Mainz.

I think that should've been "Wiesbaden". God, that was a grim year in Mainz.

Minny's subtlety may be over the heads of the honest, simple Unfoggetariate, so I'll just explain: Vlad Ţepeş, aka "Vlad the Impaler", aka "Dracula".

a decent restaurant in Mainz that's taken over a former church (with vaulted ceilings and everything), not too far from the municipal building

Oh funny, I'm pretty certain I went here yesterday. Stopped there because the garden looked really nice, but then when I went inside to go to the bathroom, I was surprised how nice it was. Only had a beer yesterday; I'll have to go back.

An old story: innocents abroad find Old Europe not up to the American standard.

those strange little garden-houses

Schrebergärten! My old host family in Hamburg just got one last year, so I went in one for the first time last summer. All these teeny houses with gardens, and paths winding through the whole area.

My Gastmutter told me they got started after the war. They were subsidized by the government for people to have a place to grow fruits and vegetables. By law you're still supposed to plant a certain percentage of your little plot with consumable plants, though it certainly looked to me like a lot of people only had flowers.

Old Europe not up to the American standard.

Au contraire ! If only American cities were boring in that clean, organized, beautiful, well-connected way.

My Gastmutter told me they got started after the war.

A friend of mine from Mainz was writing her master's on them. I think they date back further than that, that they were part of the late 19th-c return-to-the-land ethos, but that vegetables grown on them did keep a lot of people from starving post-WWII. Totally adorable; I really wanted one.

Flowers are often edible.

Just stay inside and drink distillates of fruit.

Of course, the interesting parts of German culture were all Nazi, and when they were repressed after WWII , all that remained was the boring Kantian stuff Nietzsche complained about.

I'm good at explaining things.

As soon as I went inside I wanted one, for similar reasons to why I wanted a an RV camper as a kid after I went in one at the county fair: so teeny and cute, with everything miniature and in its own special place!

all that remained was the boring Kantian stuff Nietzsche complained about

You think Kant had nothing to do with the Nazis? Someone needs to brush up on his Horkheimer and Adorno.

(Obnoxious comments get obnoxious responses.)

The Kantians fooled the occupation authorities. Adorno's music criticism disqualifies him anyway.

The Kantians fooled the occupation authorities.

Schlau und diszipliniert, I tell ya.

Speaking of donuts, muffins and crispbread, I guess we all come up against our limit eventually, and must admit to sincere disgust. Anyone who's been around Boston is probably familiar with those carts that sell Richie's Slush. Dubious enough. But at the chapterhouse in Everett they have a sign out on the sidewalk offering a delicious Bucket o' Slush. Mmm.

I mean, eewww!

a bagel (which is also a good thing, especially when lightly toasted and spread with cream cheese)

Toasted? Oh hell no.

I like doughnoughts.

Also, while I have junk drawers, I sadly do not have a drawer devoted to string.

Speaking of food, I continued my halfhearted quest to learn to cook Asiany food by buying various items at a local Thai market.

Dinner tonight will be either mmmmmmmgood or yuuuckkkky.

Serious string savers tie the longer pieces together and rol them into a ball, and put the ones too short to tie into a cigar box or shoe box.

put the ones too short to tie into a cigar box or shoe box

Labeled "Too Short to Use".

yinz are watching wimbledon, right? Epic.

I wish we had a local Thai market. Today I am making a huge batch of Parsi-style green curry, which bears a striking resemblance to Thai green curry, from scratch.

that is awesome rfts.

I am shocked that you don't have them.

We have Thai markets/Indian markets (of various types)/and other Asians markets on virtually every corner.

I want redfoxtailshrub to come and visit so she can cook for us (and explain detective stories to us).

I just got 1.4 pounds of fresh sour cherries! Hard to find in the city! Excitement!

The farmer dude said there might be more on wednesday, but probably not next sunday, alas.

Also, while I have junk drawers

Heh. He said "junk drawers".

Virginia and Maryland seem to have many more Asian markets of every kind than Ohio does. There are a few around, but not conveniently located, and the moderately convenient ones are pitifully stocked.

Do you need someone to draw your junk, ben?

Does it surprise you that Virginia and Maryland are better than Ohio in every way?

The solution is to move back.

Hook me up with a tenure-track job and I will be there in a flash!

233 to 231.

I just made a Thai red curry last night; it was delicious, but not nearly as red as in the picture. Maybe they meant big red chillies, not Thai red chillies? That wouldn't make any sense, though.

Also, a really good noodle and vegetable salad thing.

234: Forget tenure-track, I think drawing ben's junk actually has an endowed chair by now.

tennis tennis tennis tennis

I am making Thai Jungle Curry. But, I forgot shrimp paste. Gotta run back out later.

Back to tennis!

Wow! What a match.

236: It depends on whether he's sitting or standing.

I forgot shrimp paste

OK, question: is shrimp paste the same thing as ground shrimp? Does it come in a jar?

My local stores have nothing labeled "shrimp paste," but they have "ground shrimp" that seems like it would be the same thing.

Wait, is the tennis over?

"Shrimp paste" is edible. "Ground shrimp" are akin to "land sharks".

So what do shrimp use to glue paper together?

prawn epoxy. I guess you Yanks would call it shrimp paste.

if baby oil is made from shrimps, then what do humanitarians eat?

Humanitables.

tennis is still going.

It is an amazing match.

tennis is still going

Well, apparently it's not on the channels I get on tv. ESPN2 says tennis highlights, but it's competitive poker or something. What a drag.

nbc

basic nbc

nbc

basic nbc

nbc

basic nbc

nbc

basic nbc

okay
okay
okay

Earlier it was something else. Thanks!

That wasn't a reload error. Will was describing the game. The score is 30-love, and NBC is kicking Basic NBC's ass.

I was chanting.

That was an amazing game. One of the best ever.

Boy, that Nadal is one sexy dude, eh?

Nice game, also. The half hour of it I managed to see. It's enough to make you take up sports in some semi-serious fashion.

I think my only labour-saving set-up is to have 4 washing baskets, so the washing gets sorted as it goes into the baskets, rather than me ever having to do any sorting. That, and making the children do as much as possible. My plan is that one day their helpfulness will outweigh the extra work they cause.

257: My mom started getting ahead of the game when she was about 65.

257:

I like to think the care they will give us when we are feeble will balance things out, but...

My five year old has discovered a new way to goad me when I don't give her what she wants.

She yells "You're being mean to me! When you are in a wheelchair I am totally going to be mean to you!"

My trash can/porch arrangement looks mysteriously like Heebie's, sans the string. Reminds one of Kuhn's thesis in The Structure of Scientific Revolutions.

Heebie's in a whole nother paradigm from you, bill.

rob, in 257 you have just provided the best argument possible for Biblical parenting.

Its terrifying, Walt.

I think I need to go beyond Biblical parenting and embrace Confucian parenting. That will teach them some fucking respect.

I've always interpreted "spare the rod and spoil the child" as an injunction.

Ben! you should make sour cherry khoresh! It looks soooooo good in the book.

I've always interpreted "spare the rod and spoil the child" as an injunction.

Spoken like a true non-parent.

Is Biblical parenting like Biblical knowing?

I am enjoying this blog.

Anybody got any good kohlrabi recipes?

I believe the latest Michael Chabon book is all about "the Frozen Chosen."

Hook me up with a recipe, JM.

Anybody got any good kohlrabi recipes?

I second this emotion.

1. Feed kohlrabi to pig
2. Butcher pig
3. Cook and eat bacon, ham, etc.

As I very sensitively mis-posted in the shot-friend thread, you can always chop it up, toss it with olive oil, season with salt and pepper, and roast it. Garlic and onions both go well with it, as does thyme. It's also a good vegetable to toss into mixed vegetable curries.

Edible raw?

I'd use it in almost any kind of stew where you might include potatoes, really. Pare off the outer stuff, cut up, add to simmering thing. Supposedly they make a good slaw, too, but I've never tried that.

Yes, edible raw.

I miss having a CSA.

I imagine it would be good in a stir fry, too, since it's sort of reminiscent of broccoli stems (by far my favorite part of broccoli). In fact, now that I've realized that, I'm really kicking myself for not seeking it out more often. And given that resemblance, this recipe would probably be excellent with kohlrabi substituted for the broccoli.

277 to Abraham Lincoln.

Thanks, foxytail. We get one or two every season, and I've yet to do anything interesting with it.

Again, here's my favorite fact about kohlrabi.

I still remember the day when I offhandedly asked my eldest as a toddler to bring me the newspaper from where it was lying on the hearth, and he did! I realized it was the first direct use of my children for my benefit and was exultant. Since then, not so much.

A pretty ordinary "house" contraption we have is a tennis ball hanging on a rope to determine how far to pull the car into the garage.

Kohlrabi appears to be so miraculous a vegetable it's a wonder the inhabitants of Okefenokee Swamp feared it as much as they did.

162: He's trying to disguise that distinctive Frankenstein jaw of his. Probably so it'll be a bit harder to pick him out of a crowd, in the hope of evading the war crimes police at the border next year.

"Hey! Hey, Yoo! Step outa line."

"Who, me?"

"Yeah, you're that abominable villain John Yoo, aren't you?"

"I don't know who you're talking about. No, no, my name is Wang. Fred Wang. See my ID? I used to run a computer company. Going on vacation in Vancouver."

"You're not fooling anybody, Yoo. I reckanized ya right off, saw your picture on Unfogged."

280: wow it is

Wow! I knew they were all "brassicas," but I didn't realize that meant they were as closely related as that.

Turnip = bok choy - another relative

Rape - similar as well

But not Bok Choi!

rape -pwned.

The TRIANGLE OF U explains all!

Yeah but Bok choy isn't the same goddamn species.

Bok choi Brassica rapa
The others: Brassica oleracea

Not to brag, but I love our CSA. So far this year, we've had three straight weeks with strawberries and garlic scapes, some fantastic lettuce, and some surprisingly good radishes. And it's not even tomato time yet!

Goddamn but I want some fucking scapes.

Sure, the central valley is really fertile and all, but why doesn't it grow what I want? The farmer from whom I got my sour cherries confirmed my suspicion that they're much easier to get hold of in the midwest, which is also the last place I saw the scapes.

RAGERERSREGBSLKH'

I always thought kohlrabi was the same thing as broccoli rabe; what the fuck is broccoli rabe?

CSA around here is swell, but grows, as yet, no Cherimoya. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Emerson and I had a nice conversation at UnfoggeDCon 2.0 about the central valley. He pointed out that is is fertile for the same reason that it is water starved. Environments that get a lot of water (rain forests) keep most of their nutrients in living plants. If an ecosystem is dry for a long time, all that good stuff builds up in the soil. So when agriculture starts up in a place like the central valley in Cali, you are essentially mining nutrients that were deposited years ago.

I knew that the nutrients in rain forests were all in the plants and not the soil, but it never occurred to me that the converse was true also.

In any case, Cali agriculture is going bust in the next 10 years, and all you motherfuckers are going to have to move back to the NE where there actually is water.

Broccoli rabe is a leafy green with florets that look a bit like very loosely packed broccoli florets.

Isn't it late in the year for garlic scapes?

CSA around here is swell, but grows, as yet, no Cherimoya. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Someday they'll invent a Massachusetts-friendly cherimoya tree!

They say that if you eat lots of Brassica you greatly reduce your cancer risk. But on the other hand, you're eating the Brassica. Calculating the net mouse orgasms is not easy, and there are those who claim that the advantage is on the side of cancer.

Above all, brussels sprouts.

I like our CSA well enough, but I wish they would grow stuff that costs a fortune at the grocery store, like endive and radicchio. Bok choy is fine, but I can get it for a buck a pound at the Asian market. So what if those fancy things are more labor-intensive? Work for me, farmer Bill!

Brussels sprouts are great, though.

Isn't it late in the year for garlic scapes?

Possibly. This week we also got garlic for the first time, so that should mean the end of the scapes.

One thing that bothers me about the revelation that these are all the same species is that I *love* broccoli and *loathe* cauliflower.

Fortunately taste is not required to follow species boundaries.

Belgian endive is the most poignant vegetable there is. That splendid white flesh, surmounted as by an accountant's visor by alovely pale green or yellow rim—the product of being grown in complete darkness, lest the slightest sunlight despoil the purity in which you so cruelly delectate.

GREEN FINCH AND LINNET BIRD, NIGHTINGALE, BLACKBIRD, HOW IS IT YOU SING????
HOW CAN YOU JUBILATE, SITTING IN CAGES, NEVER TAKING WING????????/

Ben is high again.

the Garlicscape is my favorite Second Life continent.

Brussels sprouts are horrible, and not just because they make you stink.

I freakin' love brussels sprouts. I'll be intimate with them, if that's what it takes to prove it, but man do I love 'em. I'll even eat them raw; I don't give a fuck.

Thai Jungle Curry turned out well, despite my efforts at ruining it by spilling much of the sauce onto the floor.

Thank you Thai market for all the delicious ingredient!

I *love* broccoli and *loathe* cauliflower.

Cauliflower is so, so loathable. Especially raw. Seriously, who the hell thinks raw cauliflower will be a hit on the veggie dip sampler?

Pickled cauliflower is very good, as is roasted cauliflower.

Romanesco cauliflower is great, however it might taste.

ny times says we should eat beets.

Romanesco cauliflower is great, however it might taste.

"Tripperfruit," we used to call it.

Brussels sprouts totally bring down the reputation of Belgium.

313: live the stereotype, that's what I say.

312: UNG made me a three course dinner once, composed entirely of beet courses.

314: Rory loves Brussel sprouts.

Tweety's heedless depravity is made manifest to the whole world in 307.

thanks for ruining beets for me.

My sil makes a delicious beet salad.

And Rory's in 317. Poor child, set on the fatal path at such a young age. If I had the eloquence of Cotton Mather I would say more.

Tying in Germany with food, a good thing to do in that area is to hit the local vineyards. They're very generous with their free samples and they sell you bottles at the same price the wholesalers get it. That works out to between a third and half the retail price in the US. It also means that local wine stores don't carry all that much of the local wine. And there's not much else worth spending your money on, so you might as well spend your evenings getting buzzed on great wine.

319: I don't know how a beet could be ruined. I always already hated the things. And I take no responsibility for Rory's depravity with the brussel sprouts. I certainly didn't expose her to them.

I'm pretty sure Rory doesn't feel as strongly about brussel sprouts as tweety (307) does.

Pickled cauliflower is very good

You could replace "cauliflower" in that clause with any vegetable, and it would remain true. So, uh, that's not saying much.

my kids love odd stuff. curry. squash. zuccini.

||

I don't know why they're doing it, but I'm just tickled at the way Joe Morgan and whatsisface keep talking about "Jabba Chamberlain".

Also LOL at Sox rockin' his ass like Leia in a bikini.

|>

Perhaps Rory can be saved. In any case, her mother shall not be blamed for her fate.

Perhaps the next meet-up should have a special Brussels sprouts section to protect those of us who want to avoid pollution.

You could replace "cauliflower" in that clause with any vegetable, and it would remain true. So, uh, that's not saying much.

My sister makes pickled mushrooms, which she evidently finds good, but I'm a bit skeptical.

Di has a perfectly definsible reason for hating beets, but the rest of you philistines ought to know that I have recently converted two non-beet-eaters with my stunningly simple steamed-beets-with-garlic-and-balsamic-vinaigrette dish.

Also, rob, one likes broccoli because it is delicious and loathes cauliflower because it it disintegrates so unpleasantly on the tongue, even uncooked.

the next meet-up should include a cooking portion.

One way not to ruin beets is to roast and peel them, then toss them with lemon juice and tarragon, meanwhile heating cherries and thyme with a little water over low heat, covered, until the juices start a-flowin', removing the pits of the cherries, then adding the lemon, beet, and tarragon to the cherries and letting the whole thing get happy together.

And I have a perfectly defensible reason for not being able to spell, if only I could think of it.

I totally love Chinese, Korean, and Vietnamese pickled turnip, radish, cabbage, etc.

You'll want to cube the beets somewhere in there.

ok, witt. give it up. or make it and ship it to me.

And I have a perfectly defensible reason for not being able to spell, if only I could think of it.

If the reason is drunkenness, that would also explain your inability to remember it.

Rory also will not eat peanut butter and jelly. Unagi, she loves. But PB&J? No way!

331 sounds frighteningly good. Put it on the recipe wiki!

Is w-lfs-n a cook???

what is the wiki address?

"Good morning, Dear Wiki, Good Morning."

See, 331 sounds rather tasty, enough so that I am tempted to think the beet could be redeemed. But then, I've watched Alton Brown roast beets on Good Eats, and thought they looked delicious. I tried to eat the three-course-beet-feast because I liked UNG then and didn't want to hurt his feelings. But the things are just gross.

the next meet-up should include a cooking portion.

Excellent idea.

338: to be honest, that's about as much of a recipe as I've got. I've got some beets left over, though, and I'm going to do it again with sour cherries (were sweet before) and I'll throw something up after that.

The next meet-up should have events and medals. Including, yes, a cooking portion.

341 has put the tune of "There's a Hole in the Bucket" in my head. Thanks a lot, heebie.

I'll throw something up after that.

Are you feeding your young?

I'll throw something up

Goodness, I hope not.

By the way, Ben, a colleague of mine just saw Tom Waits perform in Knoxville. I hope that makes you as envious as it did me. (36 hours of back-and-forth travel, three airports, one missed flight, et cetera. But still!)

Thanks a lot, heebie.

And then I went and pwned you. Have I no social grace??

The only beet recipe I ever make is a risotto with beets, pancetta, and watercress. Yummy. My aunt makes a great porcini borth based borscht for Christmas Eve, also good, particularly with cabbage and porcini dumplings.

249:

No!

350 was me

My sister makes pickled mushrooms, which she evidently finds good, but I'm a bit skeptical.

Tsk, ben. Mushrooms, as you (should) well know, are not vegetables.

350: As long as the beets are big enough to pick out, that sounds great!

Mmmm beets.

348: that makes me very envious indeed.

ok, next meet-up needs to include w-lfs-n, witt, rfts, m/tch, and....who else is a cook??

Jesus brings the delicous wine.

Jackmormon cooks. Blume was asking for cookbook recommendations a while back, so I assume she does.

(Ben, not sure if it will make you feel better or worse, but she reported that it was fantastic, and lasted 2+ hours. Also that he played early as well as later stuff. And his 14 y/o son joined in for a song.)

249: No!

And then I went and made fun of will because he can't count. FOOL!

List of tour dates. I am sure every show in the US (all in the South, oddly) is long since sold out, but perhaps there might be something left for the European leg....?

Cauliflower is delicious with a sauce of tahini, lemon juice, parsley, onion and garlic (karnabeet bi taratour, a Lebanese dish). The sauce is delicious, at any rate.

w-lfs-n, I would type up the recipe for sour cherry khoresh but for my second-degree-burned fingertips; i blame you, actually, since i was making pecan pie, remembering how delicious looking your pie photos were. Fucking caramel, fucking humidity, fucking impatient stirring. God, my hands! Another day.

Beets are yummy. I'm jealous of any of the New Yorkers who gets to see Die Soldaten while it's happening.

mmmm pecan pie. With chocolate chips???

My sister is crazy, but she makes a delicious chocolate chip pecan pie, so I stay in her good graces.

No.

357: There should be an Iron Chef style cook-off. I will graciously volunteer to serve as one of the judges.

(all in the South, oddly)

No, see, it all makes sense.

Right now I'm making a huge batch of meat sauce. Later this week I'll put together some spinach pasta and turn part of it into a lasagna. The rest goes in the freezer in convenient one serving portions for when I'm feeling lazy. No beets, no cauliflower.

There should be an Iron Chef style cook-off

Leave it to unfogged to make it competitive.

Oh my God. Snark has just revealed to me that we have actually used EVERY LAST DROP of our bottle of Angustura bitters. I didn't think that happened.

You should get some grapefruit bitters!

I made some rhubarb syrup but I underestimated how much rhubarb I'd need. Too bad they're basically out of season.

I will volunteer to help Di judge the competition as long as she acts like Mary Murphy on So you Think You Can Dance.

370: buy peychaud's online! One of the greatest decisions I ever made! Speaking hyperbolically!

(369: It was the only gimmick I could come up with whereby all these talents do their best cooking and I eat without doing any of the work. Shhhh!)

Oh, we have Peychaud's too! And Fee's orange.

If you all elect me to the judge's panel, I'll bring blue ribbons for everyone.

They had rhubarb at my greenmarket yesterday. (Yuck)

We should get some grapefruit bitters, though, I agree. Both Angostura and Peychaud bitters are a great addition to grapefruit juice, by the way.

If you elect me as a judge, I promise to sit between Heebie and Di.

Poor Ben, you are out of whack with your local time and climate.

371: Really? Rhubard is out of season? Damn. Rory planted some in our garden because UNG's new girlfriend apparently makes a delicious rhubarb crisp. I still haven't figured out how or when I'm supposed to harvest it...

I promise to sit between Heebie and Di.

Heebie Will Di sounds very threatening.

I love Pechaud bitters and I love rye, but I've never had a real Sazerac.

383 may be the most hipsterical thing ever written.

Does Will Heebie Di sound better?

383: Why not?

384: just wait.

383: visit Boston!

384: see?

Rhubard is out of season?

I think so, anyway. Maybe that's totally wrong; maybe I'm just misjudging because I've always been told that it's much better earlier in the season. Cursory googling suggests the season runs until the end of summer at least. Huh.

381: ZOMG Di! Do not be UNG's sharecropper!

>i>Beets are yummy.

I think we have a troll.

Raw rhubarb is really quite good.

386: obviously he's waiting to get his hands on some real absinthe.

390: who hates on vegetables? Beets are great.

390, 391: indeed.

Does Will Heebie Di sound better?

Well, it's more open-ended at least.

How about Heebie Di Will? You could say it in a Kermit voice: Heebie Di Will reporting live here. Hey-ho.

Hush oudemia. Let's see what zany things jealousy makes Di do!

Sazerac's are a pain in the ass to make, I tell you what.

I could make a sazerac right now!

389: Oh! No, no, no, no, no. He will not eat the fruits of my harvest. No, no, no, no, no. For Rory. She will get the recipe and bring it home. Maybe we will send a piece over for the girlfriend, the poor thing.

Oh wait, no I couldn't. Fuck.

394: I understand I'm an outlier on the rawbarb score. It really is good, though, if you like things that are extremely sour. I used to eat it all the time as a kid. It's a little cloying with all the sugar, eh?

398: it might help you cope with the apostropher in 397. I know I need a drink.

400: suck's.

People, growing seasons depend on climate/geography. I don't even know anything about anything, but I know that.

398: Me too!

Rhubarb leaves are tasty too, Tweety, and good for you, in a sense.

What's such a pain in the ass about making a Sazerac?

I have a super-fantastic Indian recipe for beets and the greens that you cook in butter and spices until they practically melt in your mouth.

Jesus brings the delicous wine.

Why can't he just make it on the spot?

Let's see what zany things jealousy makes Di do!

You jest, but it's kind of true. "Oh, you like Bertha's rhubarb crisp, do you? Well does she grow her own organic rhubarb like your mother? Does she?"

Granted, the strategy won't work if I don't figure out when or how to harvest it.

Don't leave us in suspense, Sir K, hurry up and post it!

(Unrelated: I don't know why, but this post of Catherine's just made me want to hug her.)

Yesterday I had a taste of the port we made last fall. The verdict: fabulous.

406: I dunno, the whole coating-the-glass thing is an extra step beyond "dump a bunch of crap in a cocktail shaker". It struck me as a pain in the ass when I tried it, anyhow.

Give it up, Sir Kraab.

mcmc:

He can but he wont share

The Sazerac has been proposed as the official cocktail of New Orleans. It has been rejected several times as the official cocktail of Louisiana. Breaking.....

402: "-r"

Coating a glass isn't really that hard.

I'll put the beet recipe on the wiki, but right now M/tch is hogging the computer and I'm using my phone.

412 to 416.

410.2: (Unrelated: I don't know why, but this post of Catherine's just made me want to hug her.)

Agreed, but why wouldn't you know why?

I'll put the beet recipe on the wiki

Do!

why wouldn't you know why?

Well, reading about medical maladies rarely evokes that reaction in me. Also, I don't really know Catherine, so the sisterly emotion/protectiveness sort of came out of the blue.

Actually, maybe it's just because her blogging-voice sounds like my little sister's would, if she blogged.

419: is that really so mysterious an idea?

I can't imagine any of the bars I frequent managing to make a Sazerac with the bitters and Herbsainte coated glass and the ya-ya. On those occasions when I've gone to a fancy schmancy bar that could probably pull it off, I haven't thought of it.

Accusations of hipsteria are going to drive me to drink only rain water and pure grain alcohol from now on. Or just drive me to drink, I dunno.

Agreed, but why wouldn't you know why?

To make her boobs hurt?

I'm just glad 424 made the joke I kept myself from making out of some misguided sense of "good taste".

423: totally visit Boston. Deep Ellum has a swell Sazerac.

(Although Deep Ellum needs to keep up the quality control on its new bartender hires; I worry.)

397: No, they're really not. Except when the bar is crowded and kitchen orders are stacking up, then they're annoying. Otherwise, they're a fun drink to make. Who doesn't love muddling?

I forgot you had to muddle things. What a hassle! Rye Manhattan is so much easier.

Titties! Alas!

Hey ari, I tried to comment like three times over at your place on the Wall-E post, and none of my comments showed up. Did I get caught in a spam trap or something?

Bartenders almost never get to be artisanal. Sazeracs are, therefore, a bartender's friend. Except, again, when the weeds are high and growing.

Heebie, is it for real that you are teaching an English class? How did this come to be?

430: No, we just aren't allowing any more Jews for the moment. In honor of Helms and because we're worried about property values. (Seriously, I'll go check.)

433: And here I figured it was 'cause I disagreed with you and Eric about the movie.

422: is that really so mysterious an idea?

The post is about giving things up for health-related reasons. Giving up thing after thing, with deep regret but a sense of necessity. Makes you want to hug someone who admits to the grief therein. So.

As for hugging someone who reveals that being hugged hurts, but not as much lately, well, I don't know. There it is.

430: Yeah, you were in the spam queue. Where you fucking well belonged with a comment like that. I just deleted it. Asshole. (Now that's how you direct traffic! I'm just saying is all.)

,

I forgot you had to muddle things.

Not if you use simple syrup, though, no? (Perhaps ari will now look down on me.)

438: ah. That would explain it. I had the syrup made already.

436: Glad to see my original guess was right.

Also, goddammit, now I tried to respond to Tweety and my comment didn't show up. Always knew you professor-types were stifling dissent.

432: It is for real. Kind of. The class is called the Freshman Experience, and teachers from every department are expected to teach it, and while it's not quite an English class, it sure as hell isn't a math class. We read one (terrible, awful, mandatory) novel, one book of our own choice, and a bunch of mandatory readings on the philosophy of higher ed. They write essays. (I have to grade essays. How weird is that!)

438: Simple syrup is one of the labor-saving devices we keep around the house, actually. BUT IT'S NOT ARTISANAL. SO KEEP IT AWAY FROM MY SAZERACS, YOU LAZY YOUNGSTER.

Regardless, most tourists customers in NOLA want their fruit muddled. Which always struck me as overkill. But hey, what do I know? I'm just the guy pouring the drinks. And you're from...where again? Tuscaloosa? Oh, it's nice there (if you like the Klan). I'll make your fucking drink however you fucking want it. You fuck.

By the end, I got kind of tired of tending bar.

Sazeracs have fruit in them? The wha'?

What, not even if you make it yourself? Do you make a cold-process or hot-process syrup? What ratio? What kind of sugar? Either vol. 1 or vol. 2 of this fine scholarly journal has an article about simple syrup, but since they don't seem to make the TOC known I can't say which.

440: I had to de-spam both of your spammed comments. That's how the filter learns that we love you. If I allow even one of your gratuitous and self-aggrandizing bloviations pearls of wisdom to wallow in spam hell, the filter's learning curve steepens.

440: Also, you pwned Weiner. And come to think of it, it's pretty Jewdy over at the Edge, isn't it? I think it's about time for a good pogrom. Who's available? Emerson, I know you're in.

I infer from this post that it must have been the first issue. I'm kind of amused in a snide, supercilious, elitist way that one guy in comments went to the trouble of making his own 4:3 turbinado syrup with the addition of some cream of tartar (evidently this breaks the sucrose into glucose and fructose) and announced that he'd try it out in ... a cosmo!

443: That was my point in 442. Try to keep up, okay. We're not going to dumb down the banter for your benefit. Sheesh.

Apparently, I'm in a bit of a mood. Apologies.

he'd try it out in ... a cosmo

Forget the pogrom; we should just go kick that guy's ass.

Must be all the jewry.

448: I like them banter they got on the houses this weekend all red white and blue. Makes me proud, yessir.

Wha'?

451: I'm heading to Sag Harbor tomorrow. And then, after that, to Boston. We're all set to stay with you, right? I mean, Blume's away and everything. You'll love my kids. Seriously, they're great. You don't have anything breakable lying around, do you? Like electronics?

452: yeah, sure, no worries. The kids like orgy parties, yeah?

A synagogue on the way home from my elementary school had a sign out front that read "SAVE SOVIET JEWRY." I was convinced for quite some time that it was supposed to be an exhortation about rings and necklaces.

452 - Speaking of, check your email, Ari.

I'm heading to Sag Harbor tomorrow.

Look up Judith Miller and say, Howdy!

455: You're such a tease; there's nothing there! Silly.

456: God, I so totally love her work. I wonder if I can get an autograph. Also, I'd like to note, for the record, that I'm old enough to remember when Sag Harbor was for black people. Like me.

454: The synagogue near my house had that same sign! Everyone (Jew and gentile) had the same reaction! What made it better was that that was actually rev. 1a. The first sign Temple Beth El put up read "FREE SOVIET JEWS."

459: But they were: free, that is. Millions of them could be had for nothing at all. At the time, it was a great bargain. Now, even with the deflationary spiral, a good Jew will cost you at least a few hundred bucks.

What made it better was that that was actually rev. 1a.

I don't think the predictions of the Soviet Union come until later in the book of Revelation.

what is a synagogue doing using that book, anyway?

The first sign Temple Beth El put up read "FREE SOVIET JEWS."

"Free as in beer!"

what is a synagogue doing using that book, anyway?

It's a new John Hagee initiative.

Tweety is absolutely right about raw rhubarb. That stuff is great. Tweety has very good taste.

458: I'm old enough to remember when Sag Harbor was for black people.

So where are you usurping vacationing at? Nineveh? Azurest? Sag Harbor Hills? Easttown?

Next revelation from Tweety: Raw quince is great!

I was convinced for quite some time that it was supposed to be an exhortation about rings and necklaces.

You and Emily Litella.

Judith Miller started her career with "The Progressive", which is more weenie liberal than "The Nation", though less weenie liberal that "Z". What happened? Jason Epstein's schlong? No one knows.

If Tweety is talking about raw rhubarb suppositories, he may be right that they're exactly right for him.

466: never had it. I did, as a child, eat corn-on-the-cob whole.

Jew cock, of a certain vintage, will turn even the best lefties right.

Peretz's is worth millions.

re: artisanal bartenders: Any DC locals who haven't yet (which might well be none, in this crowd) should hie themselves hence to PX. Clinton never got the chance to stop and chat the night we were sitting at the bar, but watching him is enough.

And oh yeah, the drinks are sublime.

I realize y'all have moved on, but wtf kind of frou frou sazeracs do you high maintenance lot make anyway?? A little simple syrup or sugar in a glass, your rye, your bitters, your absinthe. Boom. Done. Tasty. Maybe an ice cube or two if you like a little chill. "Herbsainte coated glass" and muddling?? What now?

Maybe an ice cube or two?! And you left out the lemon. Very important, the lemon!

You're supposed to coat the glass you'll be serving it in with a very thin layer of absinthe. I'll show you.

I'll show ALL OF YOU!

Could someone post a definitive sazerac recipe? I have all the stuff, I just need proportions and process.

Thing is, how do you define "definitive?" I am operating out of a 1920's bar book I found at a garage sale years ago, but it neglects all this fancy schmancy stuff like coated glasses and lemon.

Here's Dave Wondrich's recipe from the embarrassingly-titled Killer Cocktails:

Put an old-fashioned glass in the freezer. In another one, muddle 1 sugar cube with 2 dashes peychaud's bitters and 1tsp water. Add several small ice cubes and 2.5oz rye. Stir well. Remove the chilled glass from the freezer; pour in 1tsp absinthe (or substitute), swirl it around to coat the sides, and spill the excess out. Strain the chilled drink into this glass, twist lemon peel over the top, and then smile.

(I've altered this by putting the ingredient quantities in the body of the instructions, Joy of Cooking-wise.) You'll want, of course, to make sure that you're using a reasonably fresh lemon that still has plenty of oil in the skin.

"Spill the excess out"??? Spill the excess out?!!!

480: In this case, your mouth counts as a drain.

Raw rhubarb, and a small bowl of sugar to dip the end in. The best when you are a little kid and there's rhubarb in the garden.

The Puritans made a rhubarb-rum-maple sugar cocktail. I've tried it and it was horrible.

How horrible? It was more horrible than hanging Elizabeth Amerson by the neck until dead after making her listen to an hour-long sermon by Cotton Mather which was all about her. That's how horrible.

Emerson.

The aforementioned beet recipe.

sazeracs have absinthe in them? Does that mean they have an anise or licorice flavor?

Yes, and a mystique -- of insanity!

487: a very subtle one. Sazeracs are more than the sum of their parts, mcmc!

Peychaud's bitters have a subtle anise flavor as well.

Insanity, I tell you! E.G., those two guys.

And blindness!