Department of the Interior is also responsible for the Bureau of Indian Affairs, who have so ably manages the oil royalties for the tribes. Probably the same guys fucking them, too.
http://www.albionmonitor.net/free/biatrustfund.html
"Brief sexual relationships?"
Employees at the Bureau of Indian Affairs are literally whores for industry? LITERALLY?
2: Tragically, the relevant Poorman post - about the unsubtlety of a god who would make a literal whore of a media whore - is inexplicably lost even to the Wayback Machine. Let's just say that I'm laughing at David Byrne right now.
I hear lobbyists are some slippery customers.
3: That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. That was one the great blog posts.
Surely the fundamental purpose of the Bureau of Indian Affairs is to fuck Indians. So business as usual, if a bit more literal than usual...
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Please score this inning, red sox. I want to go home and make lube jokes on the Internet.
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5: The money grafs are still preserved for our children.
I was thinking the money and sex were to be counted among the gifts.
Drugs and sex are about sweet, sweet love, Michael. Has college taught you nothing?
I think in theory the poor man archives still exist someplace in some form or other.
Randall Luthi, head of the Minerals Management Service at the Interior Department, said the public had not suffered financial losses as a result of the employees' behavior.
You know how it is, "bargain hard, play hard". Shockingly enough, Luthi is from Wyoming and was an aide to both Alan Simpson and Dick Cheney.
It's not the sex and drugs that bother me. It's the omission of Rock and Roll.
15: Is there some reason you're posting that on the sex and drugs thread?
Because, duh, he's a doctor now, so he can prescribe drugs.
OxyContin for everyone!
Congratulations, Doc.
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Fucking Timlin.
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20: I'm ashamed to say I left 2 innings ago. Prolly jinxed 'em.
Dr. SEK, would you look at this rash?
21: oh man I hope I end up regretting it, too.
Congratulations! a very funny story, i laughed and wanted like to kill that second reader and the printing people
all's well what ends well :)
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I'm less impressed with JRoth's friend Mr. Bay tonight.
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Since it's slow, I'm hitting pause a second time, just in case the woman who drives the ice cream truck in our neighborhood happens to be a lurker. If you're out there, thanks for bringing delight to my children this summer. You're sweet and cute and, I'm almost certain, totally stoned. But your appearances have gotten later even as summer is waning, and it's well past twilight now when you come down our street. This is not fucking Barcelona; we had dinner ages ago, and we're trying to get the girls ready for bed, so it really doesn't help when the (loud!) strains of the music-box dancer tune get them all hyped up with the promise of kid crack. If you want to turn off the sound and quietly knock on the door, I'll be happy to fix you up with a bong hit. Otherwise, please, for the love of God, stop.
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Dude people don't want to buy weed before dusk.
I have several friends that think the ice cream truck in this neighborhood is a drug dealer. I find the speculation endlessly hilarious. But yeah, no ice cream trucks after dusk. That's when it's scooters and SUVs come out.
I had a high school friend who was a drive in bank teller. More than money got dispensed in those little pneumatic tube thingies.
The mini-motorcycles the kids love sure look like fun, though.
Drugs and sex are about sweet, sweet love, Michael. Has college taught you nothing?
Crumbs. I did it wrong.
I bet some folks formerly employed at the Minerals Management Service are paying close attention to the information in this thread.
I have this image in my head of the coke-snortin' oil-layin' rip-snortin'est minerals management manager ever being brought before Bush for a solemn talking-to (look, it's a fantasy), and sullenly spitting out "I learned it from watching you, dad."
I have several friends that think the ice cream truck in this neighborhood is a drug dealer.
This was certainly true in one neighbourhood I lived in, in Glasgow.
There was also, of course, the Ice Cream Wars.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasgow_Ice_Cream_Wars
he public had not suffered financial losses as a result of the employees' behavior
Right, those losses are the result of the established policy correctly followed.
I have several friends that think the ice cream truck in this neighborhood is a drug dealer.
When the shades of night are falling
Comes a fellow everyone knows
It's the Old Dope Peddler
Spreading joy wherever he goes.
Every evening you will find him
Around our neighbourhood
It's the Old Dope Peddler
Doing well by doing good.
He gives the kids free samples
Because he knows full well
That today's young innocent faces
Will be tomorrow's clientele...
I am thrilled THRILLED that the orgy scandal is coming from the minerals geeks. Yes, I know they're probably all lawyers or bureaucrats----let me dream! Dream of a world of bearded geologists getting in on!
My cousin the lawyer in the Department of the Interior is most certainly NOT caught up in this mess. But I can't wait to tease her about it.
"U.S. government employees received improper gifts from energy industry representatives, and engaged with them in illegal drug use and inappropriate sexual relations"
So these guys did blow with a bunch of hookers hired by the energy industry? That's what this is saying, right? I'm not sure I can really approve of that kind of 'sex'.
Nobody has said anything about your cousin, JM. But now that you have..........
I don't know that anybody's mentioned hookers. I think they had sex with energy industry employees with otherwise non-sexual job responsibilities who were wearing their hooker hats, as it were.
Oh, come on Sifu. You think this was innocent romance that sparked amidst otherwise non-sexual job responsibilities? Please. The lobbyists were hired to get "friendly" with the regulators, and friendly they got indeed. I doubt they had any other job responsibilities. (Other than, perhaps, snapping a few photos for potential blackmail.)
I'm generally in favor of oil industry execs being fucked by the government, but not in this way.
I think the government employees who did the bonedance with the oil people were female, which is a nice change from the usual way these stories go.
43: I don't think anybody wearing a hooker hat is innocent. I don't think lobbyists are innocent, either. But I maintain that lobbyists have many important job responsibilities, including procuring box seats, filling suitcases with cash, buying drinks, paying off witnesses, and reporting back to their reptilian masters.
45: Gill (Steve Martin) from Parenthood:
l´m gonna have to have business dinners.
l´m gonna have to play racquetball.
l´m gonna have to get guys laid.
I hope you don´t mind if l bring home
a few prostitutes...
In discussions with investigators, the report said, Mr. Smith acknowledged buying cocaine from his secretary and having a sexual encounter with her at her home, but he denied discussing drugs at work.
Wait, what?? Is that supposed to be in any way a defense?
I think Mr. Smith must have meant to admit discussing drug use once or twice at work ("in hypotheticals only"), and deny buying drugs and having an inappropriate affair qwith his secretary. But somewhere along the way he got things all mixed up.
I have several friends that think the ice cream truck in this neighborhood is a drug dealer.
Whereas here, the ice cream dealers merely act like they're on meth.
"Yes, your honor, I admit that I robbed the bank and shot Mr. Dennett, but I steadfastly deny that I was wearing dirty underwear at the time."
Silly Brock, they know there's no way they can avoid getting pardoned for any crimes that were committed, but they want to at least avoid saying anything that would make it legally necessary for them to get fired.
I dunno. I gotta say, I'm not all that impressed with the level of corruption involved in this story. The reaction strikes me as being similar to all of shock and dismay over the lying by McCain and Palin. Republicans lie? Republicans accept graft? Who knew?
But hey, if a sex angle can make a Republican scandal interesting to the public, then I'm all for it. I loved this line in the NYT story:
Two female employees "engaged in brief sexual relationships with industry contacts," the reports' cover memo said, adding that "sexual relationships with prohibited sources cannot, by definition, be arms' length."
By definition.
via Pandagon: McCain abused his position in the senate to protect his wife from the DEA.
Jackmormon,
My cousin the lawyer in the Department of the Interior is most certainly NOT caught up in this mess. But I can't wait to tease her about it.
Don't wait. Live in the moment. Do it. Do it now!
And I'll repeat my deprecated puns from before but so what - I live in the moment. It is no coincidence that red America's responses to the oil crisis are "Drill Baby Drill" and "Close your eyes and keep pumping."
And yes, I have a dirty mind but at least I acknowledge it.
Contrary to the inspector general's report, though, I've heard that apo's prodigious length requires him to carry on all sexual relationships at arms length.
51: By definition.
I'm sure Otter from Animal House would reply "Oh yeah, what if your arms were only *this long?"
*insert your length here.
pwned by 54.
Goddammit politicalfootball!
including procuring box seats, filling suitcases with cash
I read this as "including securing sex boats, filling suitcases with hash," the first time, and it didn't at all seem like a typo.
A lot of the Minnesota Vikings employees who were implicated in the sex boat scandal were pursued by Interior Deparment headhunters pretty shortly thereafter.
I actually, for real, don't like the double standard on government corruption where smoking pot or having sex is so much more press-worthy than, say, having lobbyists write your legislation and fund your campaigns. This kind of thing will reduce the total amounts of sex and pot-smoking in America while doing nothing to reduce government corruption. Exactly the opposite of the direction we should be going.
Indeed, if public employees want to frolic naked in mountains of cocaine with members of the oil industry, I say more power to 'em, as long as they pay for their share of the coke.
*insert your length here.
That's a kind offer, Tripp. I didn't know you swung that way.
The story with the one or two female employees who had sex with industry reps seems to be that they went to a lot of industry sponsored parties and got really drunk. The Times article describes them as getting so drunk at a daytime golf outing sponsored by Shell that they had to be driven to a hotel (paid for by shell) to sleep it off. The same two women had sex with industry reps, although it is not clear if this was at the same party.
It looks like female-driven sexual corruption takes on a different form than male-driven sex. This isn't a case of a client hiring hookers for the regulators. Nor is it a boss harassing a subordinate into having sex with him. (Although we have one of those, too.) Instead, it looks like people got loaded with their best buds and wound up in bed with them. Just like college.
So seriously, though, I think what's most fascinating about this scandal is that it's almost certainly a window into how Bush was spending his time when he was running Harken Energy.
Indeed, if public employees want to frolic naked in mountains of cocaine with members of the oil industry, I say more power to 'em, as long as they pay for their share of the coke.
Look I have nothing against nudity and drugs, but I think frolicking naked with the people you are supposed to be regulating is still a problem, for exactly the reason described in the report. The relationship is supposed to be at arms length. You can't be best buds with the people you regulate.
58:
I think the Viking sex boat scandal was mostly players, who I suppose are employees but a special class of employee.
They are covered by a union.
What got me about the Viking sex boat scandal was in addition to the exploitation of women it was where it happened and how it came to light.
Near as I recall it was traditional for a rookie to host a party for the veterans, and for years that party was with family and pretty much just a party.
Then some rookie, or maybe newish player, took it a step further and made it more a 'bachelor' party with strippers, and hosted it on a family-oriented cruise boat on a family oriented lake.
So the cruise owner, a regular guy, complained cause some of his servers were under 16 and were expecting to serve meals and not see lap dances.
None of the servers were propositioned or harassed, but still they were exposed to, um, exposed things.
So as sex scandals go this was pretty tame, which is damning with faint praise, but the players were really really stupid about where they had the party.
Really stupid.
Exploitation of the strippers in front of kids is doubly, triply bad.
Instead, it looks like people got loaded with their best buds and wound up in bed with them. Just like college.
rob,
Are you calling me a homo?
I don't think the article says the employees who got drunk at the golf outing were the same ones who had the "brief sexual relationships". Or even that the employees who got drunk at the golf outing were female.
It does seem unlikely that the Interior Department itself would hire hot female employees for the sole purpose of flirting with and possibly having indiscretions with the lobbies for the industries that it's regulating. The lobbies would hire such employees, of course, but why would the regulating body?
Are you calling me a homo?
We know it was just 'till graduation Tripp. Nobody thinks less of you.
A lot of the Minnesota Vikings employees who were implicated in the sex boat scandal were pursued by Interior Deparment headhunters pretty shortly thereafter.
"Dude, we have got to party with hire these guys."
It really was the Vikings of the mind that made that sentence scan as valid. I had no idea my quiet glee at the Vikings' embarrassment had managed to leave behind "sex boat" as a valid concept in my feeble brain.
continued from ...67? Why would the regulating body? Even in a Republican administration where the sole purpose of the Interior Department is to make giant corporations as rich as possible, they still need to choose which corporations to make rich, so the corporations need to do things to gain their favor, even if they are all best buds.
I was kind of kidding, rob. I actually don't think anybody should be frolicking naked in mountains of cocaine with business associates. It's just too confusing.
CN: The lobbies would hire such employees, of course, but why would the regulating body?
Jesus Christ CN. Stuffy white men in power. Hot female employees. You know what they say - hindsight is 50/50.
My point is that only the lobbies would hire hot female employees qua actual whores, whereas the Interior Department would hire them for other reasons. Therefore since the alleged brief relationships were between female regulators and male regulatees, we can classify them as probably not sex qua lobbying, but merely sex qua conflict of interest.
Of course, the lobbies could be branching out into hiring gigolos as well, what with feminism and all.
You can't be best buds with the people you regulate.
Nor can you smoke buds with them, apparently.
I feel sort of sorry for the women involved because they will suffer greater approbation for being sluts than men would in that situation.
71: I'm mildly humor impaired. Sorry.
74: The guy who had sex with his secretary and then asked her and her boyfriend to score coke for him strikes me as a big huge dick.
5: The money grafs are still preserved for our children.
I want the bit about how God is about as subtle as David Byrne. "We get it, David. It's a giant suit." But I need to read the whole thing.
76 - agreed. Him I'd very much like to see doing hard time.
I wanna take a sex boat to the sex grotto.
CN,
My point is that only the lobbies would hire hot female employees qua actual whores, whereas the Interior Department would hire them for other reasons.
Ah, well I think whereas the Interior Department would hire them for other reasons. is an assertion with no evidence to back it up.
Put bluntly, I wouldn't put it past the corrupt Bush bastards to simply hire whores. Bush re-invented government. Well, actually he more turned it back to about a hundred years ago, he didn't invent anything new. He is too stupid for that.
Corrupt assholes do what corrupt assholes do.
big huge dick . . . doing hard time
I'm serious this time. Are you guys calling me a homo?!
Cause I have medical reasons for my erection.
Tripp, why do you insist on thrusting your personal genitalia into the thread?
84 essear,
To pump up readership, you hott physicist you.
Were they able to direct the 'beam' through the 'target rings?' Is Hadron a typo? Will they slowly increase the speed until they finally 'impact' with an explosion of 'subatomic shrapnel?' Is a millionth of a second a long time to a particle physicist? Come on, spill the beans and give us the inside scoop.
I wanna take a sex boat to the sex grotto.
Baby, my bed is made of moss.
You have no idea how difficult it is to run someone over using a sex boat. They steer like a fucking brick.
Running over someone with a sex brick is even tougher.
Plus you can sink 'em pretty easy with a flesh torpedo.
Good lord, is every thread just peurile double entendre now?
now
What makes you think anything's changed?
It didn't used to be puerile. Or even puellile.
90: All except my comments, which are witty double entendres.
Good lord, is every thread just peurile double entendre now?
This is just people doing what people do when under stress. I seen it before baby. In the late sixties and early seventies. Laughter is better than the alternatives. You gotta go with the flow baby. Get with it. Righteous anger meet the fart joke.
what i recalled, when i was graduating, Japanese they are so very ceremonial, they need the graduation ceremony to be very nicely arranged and all, so they teach the undergrad and grad students receiving their diplomas how to walk and turn at what degrees and bow towards whom and at how many degrees etc
the japanese female students they wear their kimonos at the graduation ceremony, looks nice
i was wearing our traditional dress, but without any head-wear
and i touched my hair trying to get it behind my ears with both my hands just before receiving my diploma at the ceremony, when everybody were watching me, a very unhappy reflex, it was so uncalled for, i felt like i was going to disappear from shame or what
so that spoiled my graduation joy
Perhaps, given the degeneracy of the American political establishment, particularly under the Bush administration, our politicians should give Kant a read:
"For the moral principle in man never dies out, and with the continuous progress of culture, reason, which is able pragmatically to apply the ideas of right in accordance with the moral principle, grows through its persistence in doing so, and guilt for transgressions grows concomitantly."
I have to wonder what our government would look like if politicians followed their moral duty?