Fontana Labs, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be: Chevy General Palin.
You should start Chevy General Blog.
(I would be Comma Liberty Palin. Which I slightly resent.)
Hmmm,
I saw the ad at Ezra's here and I wasn't impressed.
I thought that, while everything he said was accurate, it lacked a sense of urgency. In particular, I thought the line
Here's what I believe we need to do. Reform our tax system to give a $1,000 tax break to the middle class instead of showering more on oil companies and corporations that outsource our jobs.
and the closing
I approved this message because bitter, partisan fights and outworn ideas of the left and the right won't solve the problems we face today. But a new spirit of unity and shared responsibility will.
I think that this ad will appeal to independent and swing voters. But you will only hear about it from the wing nuts and moonbats, so it will be hard to judge its effectiveness.
I would be Comma Liberty Palin
I would be Ammo Canal Palin.
Reminds me from Matt Santos' ad in The West Wing though this is less persuasive.
So there's a Palin name generator?
http://politsk.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah_13.html
Me: Snooker Hinge Palin. Awesome!
If Sybil loves it, I love it. But really, I think Obama's ads have been horrible. And I can't understand why that is. Is it so hard to make an effective political ad? Where are Wellstone's people? That said, I'm not sure that ads matter very much these days. I do, however, suspect that an unprecedented number of voters will tune in for the debates, which will matter. I hope Obama has a good debate coach. And I hope McCain falls asleep at a critical juncture.
Actually, I rather like my Palin name/
11: Hinge is a great name. More people should be named Hinge.
2: That closing line was exactly what I feared.
I'll never hate Democrats as much as I hate Republicans, but what a bunch of lame, worthless shits they are.
"The American People disagree with me about most things, and beggars can't be choosers." I'll chant that until I feel better.
Of course, Rove, Gerson, Brooks, and Crook say that we should move to the center and avoid attacks, so obviously I'm wrong. **slaps self**
I think I would go by Snook Hingey Hinge.
Going from "ben w-lfs-n" to two more levels of fullness of name ("benjamin", then adding my middle name), I get, successively, "Shaver Razorback", "Bullpen Cola", and "Mangle Blue". I'll take the last.
I am Thump Hummer Palin. Sounds like a sex act.
Barrel McRaven Palin! I think I'm going to change my pseud to McRaven. If I add my middle name I get Strike Chipper Palin. I think that sounds too preppy.
I-- impartial observer that I am-- find it riveting.
I found Al Gore riveting in the 2000 debates.
It's a good adult ad for adult people. It is presidential. But I do think ari is right about ads v debates.
Give Franken credit. He produced a wonderfully bloodthirsty ad in which two small-town parents blamed Bush and Coleman for their son's death in Iraq. I have no idea how well it's playing, but cautiousness hasn't proved to be a winner in recent decades.
Coleman's ads feature distorted photos of Franken and clownish defectives comparing themselves the Franken. Hopefull the Democrats will use this. It really brazen for Coleman to dig up embarassing things from Franken's past, when he is recorded as having said "These conservative kids don't fuck or get high like we do".
Link. Unfogged archives is being a jerk.
I really liked the ad, at least up until the unity bit. Then I clicked on the link in 2 and watched that other guy's ad and now I don't like this one nearly as much. It's on the right track, though. This has to be about the economy.
I agree with Ari that the ads haven't been great. However, the new pay equity ad is really, really good.
That closing line was exactly what I feared.
For better and worse, politicians are liars. George W. Bush was a uniter, not a divider, who intended to conduct a humble foreign policy.
Me, I'm waiting to be appalled until after the election.
I wasn't talking about lying. Obama was just being cringing and lame, like Carter, Mondale, Dukakis, Gore, and Kerry. At least Bill could campaign.
?...that will free us from our dependence on mid-east oil in 10 years..."
Still and every time "mideast oil", not "imported oil".
We get some from the ME, but more from Venezuela. So Obama is really saying we will cut our oil imports in ten years by whatever, 20-30%?
No biggie, probably the politically viable goal, except I wonder what Obama thinks Mary Sixpack is hearing in that line?
IOW, subtle deception. Not quite same old story, but close enough.
And what Emerson said in 15, except maybe for the settling part.
24: Yes, the pay equity ad was deft and clear. But the McCain-is-a-dishonorable-liar ad that everyone has been raving about is absolutely terrible. I know that it's schadenfreudealicious, but it's not funny, has no memorable anything, and clunks along without stopping for air. Boring.
Our midest oil imports could be as low as 10%. Don't really care enough to find out.
Come to think on it, since we might be able to just cover the ME imports with increased imports from VEN and CAN and whatever, Obama isn't really even saying we will reduce oil imports at all.
Given what the political enviroment is like rhetorically, and given the amount of fear-generating bullshit about Obama being Negro Muslim Communist that's been put out there, I say, fuck you guys, I LIKE IT.
He should do more of those.
max
['Nothin' personal.']
Come to think on it, since we might be able to just cover the ME imports with increased imports from VEN and CAN and whatever, Obama isn't really even saying we will reduce oil imports at all.
The whole claim is meaningless. Because oil is traded on a global market, the price we pay for oil will always be hostage to events in the Persian Gulf. This fact gets repeated a lot, but it doesn't seem to ever sink in for anyone.
I'd like to see Obama bring the sword of righteousness, too, but I still liked the ad.
Also, I wish to be Montgomery Ward Palin.
I think that Ezra is right about the flaws in the ad (as are several commenters here, but I read it there first), but I don't think it matters. TV with the sound off. Obama looks Presidential as hell in that ad, and the current President has been AWOL during this crisis. It would be too much to say that Americans will turn to Obama for stability due to this ad, but I think it's in that direction. It's not a campaign ad; it's an "I'm the President" ad. To an extent it's like what McCain did with Georgia, where he upped his stock by seeming in control of the situation.
I think that, on its own terms, it could be better, but I think that a lot of what we wish the ad would do would ruin it on its own terms. This isn't the ad to go after Rs aggressively. I hope that he does a few of these, and perhaps by the 3rd one he could be a little more aggressive, but not much - the Clinton ad that Ezra compared it to (unfavorably) is more effective as a campaign ad, but it didn't do anything to make Bill seem a more credible President. This ad does that for Obama.
Imagine being in a bar with the sound off. You look up, and there's President Obama, looking in control. A minute later, he's still there. Shit, it's like an official pronouncement from the Oval Office (tho I'm glad there are no trappings - play it cool).
33:Umm, for geo-political strategic military diplomatic whatever reasons, I don't consider it meaningless.
In general, this is the kinda wonkish ad that loses for Democrats.
How bout a family of floor + cute dog sitting on a curb with their furniture crying with a caption "John McCain's economy?" Ten seconds, run a zillion times.
How bout a daisy?
While it's usually a safe bet that the Democrats have fucked up by playing it safe, there are three things that I'm trying to keep in mind: Clinton's State of the Union addresses were substantive, which the media hated, but the public liked. In 2000, Bush ran on a post-partisan platform, so it's not like there's no precedent of it being a winning message. If Obama is having trouble closing the deal, then I imagine that it's because people have trouble imagining him really being President -- if he can close that gap then he should seal the election.
I like it, and I'd like to see more like it, but I'd also like to see Biden treating McCain the way Pedro Martinez treated Don Zimmer. Why not do both?
Also: my full name (not that it matters, since the name generator seems entirely random) yields Bash Budweiser Palin. I wouldn't be surprised if that was on the Palins' own short list.
"Moose Roadster Palin." Excellent.
If the Obama video is two minutes of "Loading Video" followed by "The video you are trying to watch is unavailable," I'm thinking it won't play well with the masses.
I'm thinking it won't play well with the masses.
See, it's this kind of condescending attitude that kills Dems with the voters.
How bout a family of four + cute dog sitting on a curb with their furniture crying with a caption "John McCain's economy?"
I like it! But not from the campaign itself, it would have to come from a 527.
Walt and I are apparently sharing a brain today.
In general, this is the kinda wonkish ad that loses for Democrats.
This is FDR doing fireside chats, but also Ross Perot and his charts, which were actually popular.
The unity stuff and the 'discarding the outworn ideas of the left and right' tends to make me twitch as well, but it is a presidential election, we have been listening to that kinda stuff for seven years, and besides that, he didn't say WHICH outworn ideas of the left he was going o get rid of. (Personally, I think sucking up to R's would be the perfect choice of an outworn idea to get rid of.)
max
['I'd like five minutes of charts explaining exactly why McCrazy is a lying fuckhead.']
See, it's this kind of condescending attitude that kills Dems with the voters.
No, JRoth, it's your kind of condescending attitude that kills Dems with the voters!
45: That explains the dog porn I keep "remembering".
max, I thought we had agreed to keep our special moments private.
42: But what's your Palin name?
Trowel Ogre. I can't say that I'm thrilled.
To the generator's great credit, it's not random - I checked earlier, but then forgot, so I went back, and got the same one.
And Labs thinks he's in the tank. I like the ad, and I haven't even watched it.
Yeah, the "left" bit rankles. But I still hope he'll redefine left to mean what it does everywhere else and drag the center leftward. Maybe by the end of his last term the sober centrists will be nationalizing oil.
The framing is a little weird. Putting one ear against the window makes his ears look even more stick-outier.
I hate it when Democrats distance themselves from the left, but it's probably the best thing to do for the fence-sitters in the middle.
Who are these fence-sitters in the middle?
max, I thought we had agreed to keep our special moments private.
FAIL
I can't get the dog in question to shut up about anything.
max
['*I* was thinking about Monica Belluci.']
There's some hilarious crossfade between Bellucci's bosom and some hills in Le pacte des loupes, which is not good.
Maybe by the end of his last term the sober centrists will be nationalizing oil.
Who knows? Sober rightwingers already seem to be okay with nationalizing an insurance company.
55: I'm not so sure about that. I bet the Fed and the Treasury are receiving daily shipments of whisky by this point.
I misread 52 as "face-sitters". An even more compelling question!
Is it so hard to make an effective political ad?
It's a piece of cake. Try it!
56: It's too bad that democracy and sexy are all out of stock.
Children are a blessing, not a backfire! That site is run by pro-abortion idealogues!
I haven't seen the ad but it sounds fantastic. It's worth noting that I'm in "would pay to listen to him read from the phonebook" territory with Obama, though, so my opinions are skewed.
Fiddling with the name generator I find that my real full name gets me "Moose Roadster" whereas variations of my pseud get me "Staff Wrench" or "Guzzle Red." I am totally going with the last one. On election day I will answer only to Guzzle Red Palin and I will pretend that "Red" is the colloquialism for a homebrew liquor and solvent known only to the denizens of Wasilla. That's going to make election judging mighty interesting, I assure you.
Who are these fence-sitters in the middle?
They're your fellow countrymen, you elitist, and they're batshit insane.
Palin's email hacked: http://gawker.com/5051193/sarah-palins-personal-email-account-hacked. Work courtesy of Anonymous, apparently.
Sorry if this has already been posted.
Work courtesy of Anonymous, apparently.
For the last time, people:
1. Use a consistent pseud
2. No variations on "lurker"
3. Initials are deprecated
4. No pseud-switching!
I saw a really good ad the other day, where there's a lot of stuff about bad economic issues, bank failures, job losses and foreclosures, interspersed with McCain saying (1.) I don't know that much about economic issues and (2.) I think that the fundamentals of the economy are strong.
I liked it a lot. And this ist he kind of thing that plays well with a category of non-voter that the parties' schemers tend not to talk about - the ones who aren't in the middle at all, but firmly to one side in terms of ideas, just apathetic that voting by them can possibly ever matter. I'm seeing a lot of my liberal-but-uninvolved friends get roused up by this sort of address, which they find engaging in just the right way. They're out registering to vote, if they didn't for the primary, and they're genuinely set to vote in the general election.
Now of course a bunch of these will be challenged registrations and votes, because the Republican machine certainly has no use for an expanded turn-out. But I get the sense that shabby challenges may end up rousing more bystanders than they discourage, at least among voters who may be low-income but are socially more middle class.
But really, I feel like JRoth describes above: This is Mr. President, to me.
I am Pie Gallon Palin.
I intend on going through a pretentious teenager phase where I insist it is pronounced Pié -- like Felix.
I'm Crunk Petrol Palin.
I think "Crunk" is a perfectly good name that you just don't see enough of these days...
What about "Pië"?
I could go for a gallon of pie.
Sober rightwingers already seem to be okay with nationalizing an insurance company.
Do they have a health insurance division? Maybe this is the road to universal coverage.
Shaver Razorback is a nice name, really nice, but I prefer my McCain name:
Major "Brick" Talon.
Surveys say it is the most masculine name possible.
I think the people hating it aren't the target market. If you're burnt out on attack ads and disaffected by sound bite politics in general, the fact that he's willing to plunk down the money for a two minute talkie is quite substantial, and those are the people the closing sentences are for.
Besides, isn't the going refrain still "let's be disappointed by somebody new?"
- Timber Challenger
Did we talk about the Palin 300 days of travel allowance taken while at home, or are we rationing these thing out to one a day? If we are rationing we might fall so behind we can't catch up until after the election.
Wrong, the most masculine name possible belongs to a computer technician/national guardsman in Akron.
Shot Corrugated Palin. I think I like it.
74: Seriously. I bet no one believes him when he says it.
74:
Still, she said, "if he goes over there and gets the job done, maybe no one else will have to go."
If Max Fightmaster can't get the job done, really, can anybody?
If we introduced him to Robust McManlyPants, there would be an explosion of total awesomeness.
the most masculine name possible
Vance Maverick?
So, from my first name:
Commando Coalfire Palin
Pseud-first name:
Rust Mustang Palin
That last I like.
There used to be a very talented rower, at UC Berkeley I think, named Brock Grunt. Still not as good as Vance Maverick or Wolf Blitzer, though. But probably a bit more hard-edged than Ari Kelman.
From this horribly formatted article we see that Brock Grunt is now involved in the California waterway distribution industry.
In my mind, Brock Grunt doesn't need heavy equipment to get things done. He digs ditches using only his cock.
There's some hilarious crossfade between Bellucci's bosom and some hills in Le pacte des loupes, which is not good.
Ben! Right now, would you rather be discussing a language that looks like bad Fortran, or would you rather be nestled amoungst the gentle, rolling, sun-dappled Tuscan hills of Monica Bellucci's breasts?
max
['C'mon... you're a foodie!']
Couldn't I be nestled between (hopefully not among) Monica Bellucci's breasts and discussing, in a whisper perhaps, a language that looks like bad Fortran?
Moustache Warthog Palin saysanything Bama does that presents him as looking presidential (without being overtly presumptuous) is doubleplusgood.
66: Hey! *I'm* Pie Gallon Palin! (Unless I put in my middle name also, in which case I'm Shank Piston Palin. Yeah!)
I don't know your real name, oudemia, but I'm fairly confident it's not the same as mine.
I'm Copper somethingorother, I forget what. I feel the inclusion of middle names was a mistake; our usual experience of the Palin clan names is as first names only.
Copper somethingorother? I hardly know 'er!
I imagine that Brock Grunt is a champion shitter.
No, Brick is the champion-shitter. Every one of his movements a medalist.
Some kid has recently signed up for a bunch of kid websites and given my email address as their parent's address.
Dear Parent or Guardian of kendaline,Nice comma splice, DISNEY.
Your child has registered with Disney.com, your
child can create playlists, play games, and, if you give your
express permission, chat with friends.
I like this ad. The Dems are on the offensive, which puts the GOP on the defensive, and it's an effective message about McCain's cluelessness on the economy.
Moustache Warthog Palin says anything Bama does that presents him as looking presidential (without being overtly presumptuous) is doubleplusgood.
I second. I interrupted the old white lady whose Palin-given name is McCain Fortress Palin (!), while she was figuring out how to get her money out of WaMu before Friday night, and had her watch the commercial. I then asked her if she liked the ad, and she said (approximate), 'What? Of course I like the ad! It's perfect! That's exctly what I want to hear! They should just let McCain spew whatever bullshit he spews out of his diseased face and just run commercials like this all the time.' This was followed by anti-rich people rant that would've made Bob very happy.
max
['Nope. 'whatever bullshit he spews out of his diseased face' is exact.']
102: That's nice. I like that better than the two-minute one.
You've been very disappointing this year, oudemia.
I'm not liking this 6-1 thing going on right now, that is for damn sure.
I would be Buster Taint Palin. If THAT isn't a porn star name...
Buster Taint Palin? I....I'm hardly knowin'!
Apparently the first-name/middle-name choices are all paired up? In other words there is "Moose Roadster" and "Still Hardrock" but never "Still Roadster" or "Moose Hardrock"? Seems like an odd choice. And given the number of repeats there don't seem to be very many options. (One could estimate, if one were less lazy than I am.)
many options
i typed unfogged and got Tangle Jig Palin
On a whim I tried the actual names of the Palin kids. Best was Track -> Meat Notgay Palin.
CN,
Sgt. Max Fightmaster
Yeah, that is good, really good. People might think this is silly but I know an author who pays me $50 if he uses a name of mine.
Major "Brick" Talon or Sgt. Max Fightmaster - tough choice. They could serve together. Fightmaster sounds a little made up though.
Vance Maverick? Good. Vance rhymes with dance so could be taken as a pansy. Still, not bad.
And maybe I'm mis-remembering but I think I may have given Armsmasher his handle years ago. It was one of my earlier attempts at names.