The Heeberoni...The Heebwoman...Giving the old heeb-ho...
The beautiful part, though, from his point of view, is that you don't have to go along with it. Wasn't the Rob Schnieder character annoying the crap out of his coworkers in the original sketch? The more irritated and non-compliant you are, the better it works.
IOW, by not playing along, YOU ARE PLAYING ALONG.
Wow.
Come to think of it, though, heebie pre-pwned me in the title of the post.
Fight fire with even more dated nostalgic TV Comedy. Next time he does it, pretend to hide behind a plant, look at him conspiratorially and say "Verrry interesting!" in a German accent.
I think the only other alternative is to go all in and respond with a "Two wild and crazy South-central Texas academics" schtick. But I suspect madness this way lies.
I think the only other alternative is to go all in and respond with a "Two wild and crazy South-central Texas academics" "I'm crushing your head!"
(I am embarrassed to admit that I do still occasionally refer to random people, including my children, as, e.g., the Newtinator or the Salinator, as a result of this sketch.)
That's the most annoying sketch ever. One of my drinking buddies, a guy who absolutely loved to joke around. Very firmly stopped me the second time I tried to pull it on him. (I'd just heard it for the first time when it had already been around for awhile, and he was probably just sick of it. But it was about the stiffest I'd ever seen him act).
the Salinator
And her arch-enemy the Desalinator!
You might as well all be talking Swahili ...
Saturday Night Live. Which I still watch surprisingly often for some reason. The writers have an odd ability to write sketches that are very much like something that might be funny, but in fact aren't funny in the slightest.
I am in a lounge on the ground floor of the Columbia Philosophy building, and suddenly find myself surrounded by grad students attending a seminar learning how not to embarrass themselves on the Internet when going out on the market. "Online Portfolios for Personal and Professional Development." I should tell them about Unfogged.
Geoghegan, ghegan, bo-beghan,
Banana fana fo fhegan,
Fee-fi-fo-mhegan
Geoghegan!
Same year as Obama. Amazing.
Welcome to all bearing the name Geoghegan, Geoghan, Gehegan, Gahagan, Gohagan, Gohegan, Cohagan, Cohegan, Gahegan, Gaghegen, Gaffigan, Gavigan, Gavaghan, Gavagan, Gargan, Geagan, Gegan, Geggan, Gagon, Gagen, Gagin, Geygan, Gaygen, Gheen etc. (with or without Mac, Mc, Mag, M') for you are all probably members of the MacEochagáin line, although some of the variants I included above may be derived from other surnames also - see "variant spellings". This is no insignificant thing, for while many people of Irish descent claim some sort of royal blood, in most cases this is a hollow boast, their "royal" ancestors being little more than petty chieftains. For us it is different, being descended from Niall of the Nine Hostages, High King of Ireland and undisputed ruler of the entire island. Indeed, Niall himself was royal not just by conquest but also by descent, his ancestral line going back to the Pharaohs of Egypt. Fáilte (welcome) also to all other mere mortals who happen by this page.
John you fucker, you made my eyes roll out of my head and across the floor and now I interrupted the whole webernet seminar looking for them.
Hey, you talk to my grandmother, and she'll be very clear about her status as a descendant of Brian Boru, High King over all the kings at Tara. (You have to say the whole thing, every time.)
(Well, at this point, she wouldn't say much, what with the being dead and all. But if you caught her before March 2002, she would have been clear.)
she'll be very clear about her status as a descendant of Brian Boru, High King over all the kings at Tara
An American relative of mine wrote a book about the history of the Gonerills that showed conclusively that our family lineage could be traced to Moses.
Presumably, though, that he's using your real name, which would be more akin to "Heebie Geebs," "the Heebie Geebster" and is even more annoying.
11: The writers have an odd ability to write sketches that are very much like something that might be funny, but in fact aren't funny in the slightest.
The sketches are formally funny.
20: "He" being the dean, not Brian Boru, Gonerill, or Moses.
My son and I have been working on the myth of Nimrod and Gomer for awhile. Materials are scanty.
He had kids?
Sure, Gershom and Eliezer, the latter of whom had a son who moved to a small cottage on the Dingle Peninsula and opened a kosher deli.
"Heebs...The Heebster...Makin' copies..." revival.
I can't call you Heebster anymore? Damn.
Sure, Gershom and Eliezer, the latter of whom had a son who moved to a small cottage on the Dingle Peninsula and opened a kosher deli.
And a later descendent who wound up in Surrey was knighted as 'Roderick of Onan'.
max
['I know! Heebomatic!']
One of the Gershoms makes soft porn. We could go on and on.
Gershom, Gersh ...the Shommaster .... Gersheroni ...making some soft porn .... Gershman
Whatever. I'm related to King David, like 90% of all Jews, and the Baal Shem Tov, like 50% of them.
32: Or so the Elders of Zion would have you believe.
The writers have an odd ability to write sketches that are very much like something that might be funny, but in fact aren't funny in the slightest.
Indeed. The newscasts and pre-made stuff (fake commercials, digital shorts, Smigel cartoons) are somewhat reliably entertaining. Parodying an existing form is easier. My favorite commercial.
35: Change you can believe in. In any case, SNL definitely ought to hire this guy to do their Obama sketches. The current guy (unless, uh, they changed in the last many many weeks since I saw one) fucking sucks.
There are those who say that my Emerson line is also descended from Thomas Cornell, who was hanged about 1673 for burning his mother after being convicted on the testimony of a ghost in a dream. The eveidence isn't clearcut but I'm going to claim this one too.
It must be terrible for you lowborn people around here. I just wish that Nathaniel Hawthorne were still alive, so I could trump his stupid ancestors for him.
One of the Gershoms makes soft porn.
You misspelled Gershon.
|| No more masturbating to Philip Jose Farmer. You pervs. |>
the Baal Shem Tov, like 50% of them
The Baal Shem Tov: the Genghis Khan of the Ashkenazim?
39: Sounds like he was convicted on the basis of neighbourhood gossip and an uncle's dream.
How many of your illustrious ancestors hanged, anyway?
We try to breed before being hanged. Elizabeth overdid that part. It's been nip and tuck at times, but we're still here.
I once thought that my brewer great-great-grandfather had been implicated in the shooting of a prohibitionist, but it turns out that it was probably the other brewer in town. In any case, he was not hanged. He was put out of business by Iowa prohibition the next year, about 1894.
German Lutherans may have been the only wet Protestants in those days.
Great-great grandpa Selzer was the only real money the family every had, but that was my mother's immigrant side anyway. She saw little of the money, but did survive the Depression OK.
John, these are great stories. I love family history stories that are a) colourful (crime and punishment is a good theme); and b) more or less factually based.
The main reason for the Niall of the Nine Hostages nonsense, I think, is the lack of Irish records. In the absence of documentary evidence, people tend to make stuff up (though not deliberately or consciously, of course). And since just about nobody with Irish ancestry can credibly claim to go back further than about 1750 (and many cannot credibly claim to go back further than the 1840s), anyone with Irish origins can claim to be directly descended from the great chieftains of ancient times without fear of (records-based) contradiction.
So what Ben's saying is that the Jews are a bunch of incestuous mother fuckers.
I am descended from the love child of Ghengis Kahn and Niall of the Nine Hostages.