Did you reward him with a new flintlock and some whiskey?
I'm sure he'd like both. Possibly a new set of buckskins?
A nice hat made from a local feline or skunk.
buckskins
I don't know how his father would feel about that.
5: Huh. Hadn't realized the Oedipal implications there.
Yeah, best keep an eye out for those.
Maybe you should have him scouted to be a train.
Well that's nothing. A friend of a friend lost his wedding ring, and years later he went fishing and caught a shark. Inside the sharks's belly was a human hand which was wearing his ring -- and when they fingerprinted the hand, the fingerprints were his. Top that!
I've conjured an image of a keen-eyed boy named Newt, wearing a coonskin cap and toting a flintlock, taking a long draw of whiskey from a jug, as his father, Buck, drops him off for a day of school at Dalton (or wherever). I'm totally cracking myself up.
That's nothing. A crocodile I knew swallowed a hand of this guy that always wore purple*, and also a clock, and kept going back for the second hand but couldn't sneak up on the guy in purple because of the ticking of the clock in his belly.
*But it wasn't Prince.
Top that!
I found my wedding ring inside an abalone that (for complicated reasons which now escape me) lay dead at my feet.
In college, my roommate had lost his key or ID, so we were looking for it out on a quad where we had been throwing a Frisbee the day before. Although I was chronically obtuse, I spotted a pair of glasses on the ground. Mine. Since I only wore them for special occasions like going to class I had not realized they were missing. I do give myself credit for simply scooping them up and putting them on mid-stride while casually pointing how much better equipped I was now to find the missing item. Of such stuff were made the rare victories of my academic career.
I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill.
I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
I found paradise by the dashboard light.
Top that!
I once got lost in the Australian desert and discovered an ancient race of conically shaped people. I thought I dreamt the whole thing, but wandering in the desert years later I came across an ancient book I recognized from my lost days on which were written English words--in my own hand!
and kept going back for the second hand
So had it swallowed the clock or what?
Backpacking in the Sierras one summer I had a fleece coat strapped to the back of my pack as we took an overnight trip away from our regular camp. It was warm and I didn't notice anything unusual until the next day when I looked and failed to find the coat among my possessions. When we got back to the camp, I began to retrace the steps of the first day and eventually found the coat hanging from the branches of a small tree, just below eye-level.
Now that we found love, what are we gonna do with it?
I'm so happy 'cause today I found my friends. They're in my head.
keen-eyed boy named Newt, wearing a coonskin cap and toting a flintlock, taking a long draw of whiskey from a jug, as his father, Buck, drops him off for a day of school at Dalton
Substitutions:
"Franklin" for "Newt"
"the Continental Congress" for "his father, Buck"
"at the court of France" for "of school at Dalton"
Newt might be more useful as a jewel thief than as a scout, considering where you live.
23: You're going on notice for putting that damn song into my head again. Ahhhh!
I never did find my sheep. Eventually they came home.
I found a dimpled spider, fat and white, on a white heal-all, holding up a moth like a white piece of rigid satin cloth.
I lost ten pounds. But then I found it.
28: My wife at the Indoor Soccer complex looking for a lost ball, "Wow, look at all this stuff." Indoor Soccer Complex Dude, "Yeah, you wouldn't believe what people forget here, like this nice leather jacket." Need I say more (it was a men's jacket).
39: I find that argument fair enough.
I found God on the corner of First and Amistad.
I found Jesus but I forgot where I put him.
37: How can you be anonymous if your name is Dieter?
Find the nearest ocean, take a little boat....
If you lose an umbrella, do you know where it is? At the public library. Tell them it's black. It's always there.
I FOUND MY YELLOW BASKET AND THE GIRL WHO TOOK IT
49: she's stuck in my heart now, where my blood belongs.
AB has twice lost earrings that I have given her (the only jewelry I generally give). Once was just a day or so after I gave it to her: we were walking around my dad's neighb in suburban NJ late at night. We retraced our steps (a mile or more) and found the damn thing (a few droplets of pearl on non-shiny silver). Then, just a week or two ago, she came to bed late, realized a dangly peapod earring was missing, thought it must have dropped en route to the market*, and walked there after midnight to look for it. Turned out to be in the basement, near the washer. In her version of this story, the important part is that, when she told me, in great distress, that the earring was missing, I responded, "Every Good Boy Does Fine." I was, evidently, deeply asleep, and have only the vaguest memory of saying this. Needless to say, it made sense neither then nor now.
Could we work out some sort of timeshare with Newt?
* Yes, Whole Foods
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iTunes has just dialed up the Rhythm Sweet&Hot dedication* to Iris, from when she was 8 days old. Heartwarming. She'll be 5 tomorrow (EDT).
* "The Milkman's Matinee"
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52: I type that word far too often to write it out every time. I'm pretty sure that, when I was writing planning reports for my last job at a firm, I set Word's autocorrect to spell out "neighborhood" when I typed "n/".
I do not say, "neighb."
At that job, btw, my boss told the story of how, soon after he was married, he was swimming in a quarry, and, due to the cold water, his wedding ring became loose on his finger and fell off. In a panic, he dove down and grabbed blindly, somehow getting the damned thing. Some years later, he had a similar experience on a beach in Greece. I commented at the time that this seemed to be a sign of some sort. I don't think he had the Czech GF yet, but it was only a matter of time.
I have to tie my wedding and engagement rings into my drawstrings when I swim, for the same reason. Haven't fallen off or anything but they get really loose.
My wedding ring lives somewhere in or on my wife's chest of drawers and has done so for years. I do have visitation rights. I absentmindedly took it off and twirled it around one too many times in front of her. And it would most certainly be lost by now otherwise.
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It seems my trip next weekend is becoming considerably more complicated than I had intended. Figures. Also, my mom got a dog.
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My wedding ring once again resides on my finger, ever since I finally gave up and admitted that I was just going to have to get the damn thing resized. Apparently excessive blog commenting builds muscle on your fingers.
AB & I have a very nice mini-tradition that, when I'm making messy/gloppy food, I'll give her my ring, which she'll wear on her thumb. When the food is served, she replaces it on my finger.
After a lot of asking around, I found a way to San Jose.
64: Only really thoughtful comments.
And pwning, of course. LB's got fingers like a...
shit, my ring's dropped off.
69: A fifteen-month-old female miniature schnauzer. Named Mimi.
Christ, Facebook really is impossible to use for anything these days, isn't it?
Can Newt help me find Bobby Fischer?
72: I've decided I actually like twitter, but I'm hearing that it's already past its time.
AB has twice lost earrings that I have given her (the only jewelry I generally give).
True fact: I have two pairs of earrings within reaching distance of me, which I bought at a thingy in Pilsen because I liked them but which I have not, in the four years since I bought them, been able to give to anyone. One pair, of silver, is quite tarnished, just like my soul.
Christ, Facebook really is impossible to use for anything these days, isn't it?
You can hardly even procrastinate with it anymore.
A crocodile I knew swallowed a hand of this guy that always wore purple*, and also a clock, and kept going back for the second hand
Because the clock was useless for timing stuff accurately without it.
A friend of a friend lost his wedding ring, and years later he went fishing and caught a shark. Inside the sharks's belly was a human hand which was wearing his ring -- and when they fingerprinted the hand, the fingerprints were his. Top that!
Untoppable, as urban legends go. I was playing Ultimate when a friend lost his practically brand-new wedding ring. We searched using our best imitation of a systemic police grid to no avail. Then a player who'd been off on the side on a phone call and didn't know what had happened walked back onto the field and kicked the ring into the air.
when i was still wearing earrings, i lost once an earring into the drain when was washing my head, had to call a plumber to get it off, a gold earring with ruby
or i recall i went with my best friend to a hotel to search for her lost earring, she found it luckily, i didn't go into the room with her, just was providing her moral support waiting downstairs in the lobby
never asked her how she lost it there too
...quite tarnished, just like my soul.
Grad school has its costs.
Consider how much cleaner your soul would be had you gone into i-banking as baa suggested.
83: Plus you might have gotten rid of those earrings by now.
I lost my wedding ring in a volleyball sand pit in Santa Monica years back. Mr. B. spent hours looking for it (I had to take PK back to my sister's place), but never did.
gone into i-banking as baa suggested
Oh man, I'd forgotten about that. Someone needs to give Baa no end of shit for that advice.
86: Oh, I don't know, Nosflow's pretty smart. I'm sure he'd have gotten one of those big 2006 Morgan Stanley bonuses and then retired to Boca to play backgammon and drink Old Fashioneds.
One pair, of silver, is quite tarnished, just like my soul.
Toothpaste works if you don't have a polishing cloth. On your soul, I mean.
Even plain old baking soda and water works great on silver -- just make a paste and rub off the tarnish.
Ironically, I never once misplaced my wedding ring. In fact, know exactly where it is at this very moment.
90: In fact, know exactly where it is at this very moment.
I guess the surgery to remove it from UNG's rectum was unsuccessful.