Heebie! HP! How lovely to see you!
Now, get right back to napping. The first rule of parenthood, as I'm sure you've been told ad infinitum already, is that when the baby sleeps, you sleep.
What? You haven't taught HP to do math or blog yet? What on earth are you waiting for?!
I fell asleep between almost every contraction. It was totally weird and surreal and unpleasant, actually.
I feel very blissed out.
Endorphin rush, baby mama. You LIVED! Sorta like, 'Wow, I've been beaten to within an inch of my life... but whoa, still alive', but different.
max
['Now stir and wait for twenty years...']
I just sent Heebie an IM as a joke, figuring she'd left herself logged in when she went to the hospital, and was totally pwned when she replied.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Blissfully, that is.
JP & I totally agree with each other that 6 is a violation of off-blog communication.
3 is crazy.
Re: Baby sleep.
I'm 9.5 years older than my youngest sibling. I feel like I would remember if she cried and cried all the time, but I feel like she didn't all that much. And when she was an infant, we lived in a small house. Also, parents and other older family members said that she cried much more than me or our other sister. So is it just that when you're a parent, the baby crying is that much bigger a deal? Or is it a function of adulthood? Certainly when the cat is whining for some reason nowadays, it irritates me quite a bit when I'm trying to sleep.
Anyhow, now that you've gotten into the habit Heebie, you should just liveblog the next 220 months or so, until you drive her to college.
"So is it just that when you're a parent, the baby crying is that much bigger a deal?"
Um, 'yes'.
10: Well, duh. But I mean on some visceral, pre-conscious level. Do you wake up to hear the baby crying and go into panic mode immediately, or do you have to think about it first, is more my question.
12: IANAP but I've heard the sound likened to a "stab to the heart." YMMV and all, but surely if any response could be evolutionarily hard-wired into species with a few-offspring reproductive strategy, it would be that.
Yes, visceral and preconscious. Especially when they're infants, and you're debilitated by lack of sleep. Things get primal.
But I mean on some visceral, pre-conscious level.
They've actually done studies on this and yep, adults in general have a much stronger physical reaction (i.e. heart rate, stress response, etc.) to the sound of an infant crying, and if it's the sound of one's own child, the effect is much stronger still.
Congratulations Heebie. Hi, HP.
Congratulations!! Woo!
Also: The first rule of parenthood, as I'm sure you've been told ad infinitum already, is that when the baby sleeps, you sleep.
This rule sounds great, but is completely impractical. When the baby sleeps, you get shit done.
17: And so it naturally follows that when the baby shits, you get sleep done.
Seriously, go to sleep, woman! HP will be getting a lot more energy for crying very soon. Enjoy--the new baby smell is the best, and the pimples probably haven't started yet.
Technically, mrh, if you're concerned about getting enough sleep as a new parent, it's completely impractical to have twins.
Also I'm still at the hospital, so getting sleep has been easy so far. Everyone's cleaning up after me and bringing food and I just nod off whenever we want. (I was GBS positive, so hospital protocol is to keep the baby for 48 hrs.)
My god, you had Great Baby Syndrome?!
20: Look who's a parenting expert all of a sudden! La-dee-da!
One night toward the end of our first three months with our daughters, which were utter living sleep-deprivation hell, I woke up with the single idea, as with every awakening, that I had to see to them. In my half-conscious delirium and in the half-light of four or so in the morning, I saw one of them lying on the bed, but it was just shapes and shadows in the crumpled comforter, so when I clutched at her, she disappeared, and I was momentarily bereft. The whole thing took maybe five seconds, but I'll never forget the confusion and terror.
22: Yes, it takes 48 hrs for her superpowers to come in. We're hoping for x-ray vision!
24: Jesus, that happens to my wife and me at least once a night each. We both tend to gasp ourselves awake thinking we somehow left a baby lying on the bed. I'm guessing we could probably reduce its occurrence if we didn't let the cats sleep with us.
How old are yours now, mrh? I remember things getting more sane after three months, just because I was often getting three hours sleep at a stretch, but then leveling off into a mix of fatigue and erratic brain function that's basically remained the same even as the girls' demands on us are always changing.
You go, woman! But I can't figure out where the computer is if you're lying down, the baby's on top...
28: Typing one-handed on a laptop.
27: Turned six months on Sunday. It's definitely getting more sane--they just about sleep through the night, and are starting to be able to sit on their own, which will be a huge milestone.
We expect that for everything that gets easier, something will get harder, but nothing will ever touch the insanity of those first three months.
Congratulations, Heebie.
Welcome to the Mineshaft, Hawaiian Punch.
30: That was out experience (though we only have one). Once they can talk, it gets weird at times. The other day, my wife was having trouble getting our two-year-old to hold her hand in a parking lot, so, long story short, I had to spend an hour explaining (with maps) why we couldn't go warn Al Gore (IV) to watch out for traffic.
28: Typing one-handed on a laptop
Well we've all been there.
31: Welcome to the Mineshaft, Hawaiian Punch.
Or out of it, as the case may be.
Heebie: Have you reserved HPunch an @aol.com email address yet? You gotta be quick with those.
Have you reserved HPunch an @aol.com email address yet
Heh. One of my first activities at the hospital was signing up gmail accounts with the babies' full names.
Really the prudent thing to do is register the gmail addresses first, then meet a girl, fall in love, and have babies.
34:
"You're getting older, and I think it's time. Here's your gmail login name and password."
"Dad! I hacked that shit two years ago and figured out your ATM password, too. Back off, man."
9 - in our family, only the first one ever did that cliched tv-style crying, where you walk up and down the room cuddling a baby for hours. The next three just got calmer and calmer. I think that was mainly because I became far less likely to have set ideas about what the baby *should* be doing (mostly sleeping), and also had less energy to be bothered to do anything but bring the baby into bed with me (which it probably was already) and stick a nipple in its mouth.
Also, #1 wasn't and isn't much of a sleeper. But #4 isn't either, and going with her flow when she was a baby was much less stressful.
and 12 - basically by the time you wake up, your feet are on the floor. (Most of the time. Apart from the times when you wake up sleepily and wonder when next door had a baby ... then realise it's yours.) The first night they sleep through is terrible though.
Heebie - lovely to hear from you. Enjoy being looked after in the hospital, hope all's going well.
36 - I set #1 up with a gmail account last year (because she wanted one, she already had a prefectly good email account beforehand), she showed #2 and #2 showed #3. Now #4 is moaning that she doesn't have one. "You can't read or write. Be quiet."
#1 complains constantly about the inane chainmail and forwarded nonsense she gets from the girls at school. And that they use txtspk. I'm so proud of her.
Congratulations on the successful production of the next generation.
Our kid, almost seven months, has taken to sleeping 3-4 hours at a time, after months of waking up every 2 hours. I have suddenly found it almost impossible to wake up when he cries. I struggle to surface and then crash back to sleep time and time again. Luckily I'm not the one feeding him, so the imperative for me to wake is diminished.
Yeah, don't worry WB, I'm pretty sure that soon you'll be able to sleep right through it.
At the moment I'm more worried about sleeping through when he is crying. Luckily my wife appears much more sensitive than I.
Sorry, I'm just teasing - my partner developed very impressive baby-deafness. To the point where one day I was having a bath or something whilst he was with her, and I could hear her crying. The crying went on and on and eventually I got out of the bath and went to find them. They were both on our bed - her awake crying, him next to her asleep. That takes special determination.
43: That's me to a tee. Roberta thinks I'm just pretending to sleep through it.
This rule sounds great, but is completely impractical. When the baby sleeps, you get shit done.
I know parents like this, but I ain't one of them. We just stopped getting things done for a few years.
Congratulations, heebie and Jammies! Welcome to the world, Hawaiian Punch! The Ruprechts wish you good health and a life filled with love and joy.
Congratulations, Heebie! Welcome to the world, baby-Heebster!
They were both on our bed - her awake crying, him next to her asleep. That takes special determination.
My daughter used to get up really early (4:30 am). I learned to take care of her needs (bathroom, food, etc.) and then I would go back to sleep facedown with my hands protecting my face.
She would then climb on my back and try to wake me up. Eventually, we would both fall back asleep.
This blog used to be about dating, sex, lifeguards, and drugs.
Now, it is about jobs, cooking, birthing, and sleep.
Up next, postpartum depression, constipation, joint pain, and taking care of parents.
51: And finally long rambling stories that go nowhere punctuated by detailed discussion of bowel movements.
In Ye Olde Days Heebie would be back working in the fields by now. You'd think that she could at least give the media some new photos. This is no ordinary baby.
40: Yikes, here's hoping his sleeping stretches out for you.
There have been several mornings recently where I've woken up and brightly said, "Pretty good night for the babies, huh?" and gotten a glare in response.
55: You need to start out each morning with an "ugh! What was with those two last night? I don't think I got a wink of sleep!"
Then if your wife looks at you puzzled, you can just give her an understanding hug and say, "that's okay, honey, you needed the sleep."
Big congratulations adn warm fuzzies, heebie.
I'm a light sleeper and usually was the one who got up and brought the baby to his mom. She still had to breastfeed, though. We also had a cord attached to the cradle so that we could rock the baby without getting up.
59: will, this thread is about heebie and the baby, no about pictures of Sir Kraab.
The ravening mass audience must be fed. Unfogged is the People magazine of the Heebie-Jammie-Heeblet family.
I was hoping for a series of pictures "M/tch and Kraab - on the run with the baby!"
59: Sorry, will, but those are the only pictures Jammies sent out. You and Emerson seem a tad obsessed.
On the plus side, M/tch and I are waiting for a friend to send us pictures from his Thin Man party, for which we looked pretty fabulous. I figured out how to do some '40's kind of thing with my hair.
Happiness and congrats, heebie and Jammies. "Ogged" is a wonderful name for a child.
I figured out how to do some '40's kind of thing with my hair.
Me too!
Yay, heebie! Remember your inner princess --you are to be basking beatifically while people bring you snacks and beverages. No taking care of anyone else (barring the beebie) for at least a couple of weeks.
I don't know, heebie. That litterbox is looking awfully full, and it hasn't been your turn for awhile . . . .
(Of course, while I'm telling heebie to relax, I'm also tapping my feet impatiently waiting for a report on how labor went for her, and whether her OB stepped up and behaved well, or was as annoying at delivery as previously. But I can wait.)
chinese people in singapore think it's important for new mothers to drink benedictine, because of the herbal tonic-ness. maybe you could work that in there.
Hoppy beer is supposed to encourage lactation. (So's oatmeal, and fenugreek. But why not start with the beer?)
That Persian soup-of-every-food-group has fenugreek.
That litterbox is looking awfully full, and it hasn't been your turn for awhile . . . .
I should hope not. Pregnant women get a pass on that chore.
Typing one-handed on a laptop.
IYKWIMAITYD
I guess they're planning to sell the rest of the photos to a tabloid for a pretty penny.
Hoppy beer is supposed to encourage lactation.
Mme. Perdu found this brand espectially good for that. Though if it's hops you want, it's hard to beat this one.
I should hope not. Pregnant women get a pass on that chore.
And heebie's not pregnant anymore, now is she?
Alternatively: take it to Standpipe's blog, pal.
Luckily I'm not the one feeding him, so the imperative for me to wake is diminished.
Yeah, UNG took to this philosophy at first after Rory was born. Until, after a few weeks of hardcore sleep deprivation, I must have developed this reflex of kicking him REALLY, REALLY HARD when she was crying until he got his ass out of bed and brought her to me for feeding. Wholly involuntary, post-partum sort of thing.
70 - oh me too!
#1 has always had rather nocturnal habits, so I never felt too hard done by waking up to feed her in the night, because I knew that once C went off to work in the morning I'd get an undisturbed 4 hours out of her. I didn't get up before 11am for *months*.
I'm sure not having to get up for work helped with my lack of resentment, but I could never quite understand why it was better for both parents to be really tired rather than just one. At least if you're the night-bfing mother, then you can claim exemption from everything else on the grounds that "I'm tired" and the one who's had the sleep will just have to suck it up.
but I could never quite understand why it was better for both parents to be really tired rather than just one
Misery loves company. And I think being exhausted night after night next to a comfortably sleeping spouse just makes some people deeply resentful. You're right that it makes little sense for two people to be waking up instead of one, but the sleep-deprived don't always have the best judgment.
Buck got out of bed to bring me Sally for feeding, but by the time Newt came around it seemed silly to wake him up for it -- nursing a baby doesn't really take two people. I'm a much heavier sleeper than he is, though, so he's taken over pretty much all post-nursing night-wakings (if there's something protracted going on, like a kid vomiting, I'll wake up eventually and go help, but he's out of bed at night ten times for every once I am.)
You're right that it makes little sense for two people to be waking up instead of one
It also makes little sense for it to always be the same one waking up. Especially if the same one is the one doing the bf-ing, which may look rather relaxing but in fact sucks an incredible amount of energy and strength out of a mom -- who needs a good bit of strength and energy if she's going to successfully produce milk in the first place.
Mmm, baby.
At first I thought the title portended another cooking thread.
Especially if the same one is the one doing the bf-ing, which may look rather relaxing but in fact sucks an incredible amount of energy and strength out of a mom
What does butt-fucking have to do with this discussion?
I think the theory is that the nursing mother is going to wake up regardless, so that you've got your choice of the mother waking up, or the mother and the father waking up, but there's no way not to interrupt the mother's sleep. At which point it comes down to whether the father's assistance with night feedings is substantially useful in making life easier for the nursing mother. (If we're doing formula, obviously, the parents can split night feedings fairly.)
And with my first, I felt like I needed the help stumbling around and changing the diapers and so on. By the time I'd done it once before, there just didn't seem to be any real gain to me from waking Buck up, though. So he mostly didn't have to wake up for night feedings.
During one bad period (the details of which I forget—2 out of 3 of ours were difficult at night), my wife and I had a special moment when she awoke and found me reading a book. "No way you get to read a book! If you're tired, sleep; if you're not tired, do something useful."
85: IME it doesn't look rather relaxing, either.
IME it doesn't look rather relaxing, either.
UR DOIN' IT RONG!
It also makes little sense for it to always be the same one waking up. Especially if the same one is the one doing the bf-ing
I suppose it depends on why the baby is waking up, doesn't it? If the kid just needs a diaper change, sure, okay. But if the kid usually wants to eat after its diaper change but before going back to bed, then the person doing the bf-ing is going to be woken up either way. So mom's unfortunately got no chance of uninterrupted sleep; you're facing a same-person-always-being-woken-up or both-people-being-woken-up dilemma. If there's pumped milk or formula around, things are different.
I think I'm touchy about this today because I was up from about 3:00-4:30 last night with a hungry baby, and we've got no formula or pumped milk around the house. But my wife was just too tired to nurse. Which, you know, fine, but rocking and singing do surprisingly little for an empty stomach, so I'm left completely helpless with a screaming baby.
||
Could people in the UK please complain to the BBC about Radio 4's new web site.
It is probably aimed at being accessible to the disabled (that's the only explanation other than stupidity taht I can come up with) which would be good, but God, is it awful.
They just redid the Today Programme's website and made it more streamlined, and now they had to make it bad again. Aggghh!
|>
91 last: Yow, harsh.
To defend your wife a little, if she was too tired to nurse, it seems likely that she was up earlier in the night feeding the baby, and that it seemed implausible to her that hunger was really the problem. If there's anything more frustrating that an inconsolable baby you can't feed because you don't have any milk, it's an inconsolable baby you could feed if it wanted to eat, but that's not what it wants, it just wants to cry and be held. A real downside of nursing is that fussy babies are always your problem, because anyone else can say "Whoops, hungry" and toss them at you. (And you didn't do that to your wife last night, which means that you deserve the utmost in kudos.)
91: was up from about 3:00-4:30 last night with a hungry baby, and we've got no formula or pumped milk around the house.
Hey! I was up from 3-4:30 with a baby last night too! Fortunately, not hungry, and there was milk.
Oh, and congrats heebie.
92. Complaints would be better coming from you. We're not meant to read the website, we're supposed to listen to the radio.
To defend your wife a little, if she was too tired to nurse, it seems likely that she was up earlier in the night feeding the baby, and that it seemed implausible to her that hunger was really the problem.
She's been up a lot not just last night but for many nights now, so yes. (Although--we both have.) And you're right that she did think hunger was implausible, but: she was wrong. And I figured that out 10 minutes into the attempted consolation, but she was adament that she was just too tired. (The parenthetical defense of me at the end of your comment isn't entirely warranted--I tried to hand him off about 10 minutes in, but I was rebuffed.)
If there's anything more frustrating that an inconsolable baby you can't feed because you don't have any milk, it's an inconsolable baby you could feed if it wanted to eat, but that's not what it wants, it just wants to cry and be held.
I've been in both situations plenty of times, and I'm highly skeptical of this claim, to say the least. YMMV, I guess.
A real downside of nursing is that fussy babies are always your problem, because anyone else can say "Whoops, hungry" and toss them at you.
On the other hand, this is definitely true. I'm always inclined to test "hunger" first as a theory for why-the-baby-won't-shut-up. It's probably hard for me to objectively disentangle the extent to which that's because I think it's the most likely or because it's the least work for me. But, in my defense, if "hunger" isn't the answer, I'm generally willing to lend a hand with other options.
Jeez, she must have been completely exhausted to be able to put up with a crying baby in the house for 90 minutes - poor Mrs Landers. Dummy? Bottle of water? Might give some respite.
I mostly coslept in the end, and got very good at bfing lying down and going straight back to sleep.
I've been in both situations plenty of times, and I'm highly skeptical of this claim, to say the least. YMMV, I guess.
Come to think of it, I've only been in the one situtation -- never got stuck with an inconsolable baby I wasn't nursing.
Oh well, just think about how comparatively easy and delightful your older boy is, and how soon the little one will get there. This too shall pass.
Oh well, just think about how comparatively easy and delightful your older boy is, and how soon the little one will get there
And how inexpensive, relatively, vasectomies are.
Unlike 85 I'm reading "bf" as boyfriend. Butt-fucking is better, but it doesn't come to mind as readily.
Butt-fucking is better, but it doesn't come to mind as readily.
Well, to each his own.
95: I'm not really trying to read the website. I just want to find what I want to listen to.
I heard a Radio 3 forum once in which somebody in Chicago complained via e-mail about some programming change. Somebody pointed out that the Chicago resident didn't pay the license fee and had no standing to complain, although it should be remembered that people who listen to the radio and don't watch TV don't have to pay it either.
I recognize that I don't pay for this service at all, and that the domestic stuff is not necessarily profit-making. I once asked about whether it would be possible to make a donation, but they're not equipped to handle them.
Does anyone read profgrrrl's blog? I'm sure it's a notch down for her, but she's sort of disgusting me with her post-bambina productivity. I'm jealous. I don't have a baby, and I don't think that I'm as productive as she is with one.
But if the kid usually wants to eat after its diaper change but before going back to bed, then the person doing the bf-ing is going to be woken up either way. So mom's unfortunately got no chance of uninterrupted sleep; you're facing a same-person-always-being-woken-up or both-people-being-woken-up dilemma.
The thing is, it's wholly unnecessary to get out of bed to breastfeed (if the baby is brought to you). And while, yes, your sleep may be interrupted somewhat in the process of negotiating the latching on and what-not, it's entirely possible (especially with the newborns most likely to be waking for repeated middle of night feedings) to totally doze while the baby eats.
It's kind of amazing how much this "why should dad have to get up?" thing pisses me off a decade past it having any direct relevance to me.
All my breastfeeding children slept in the bed with us, so getting up really wasn't much of an issue.
Then I'm not sure what being too tired to nurse means. In my observational experience, you (meaning not you or me, but our bebreasted bedmates) lie on your side and drift back to sleep while the baby nurses itself back out.
107: Stop trying to destroy Brock's marriage, apo.
107: Our baby is teething and consequently going through a pretty severe "biting" phase. So nursing involves more wincing in pain and less drifting off to sleep. Or so I understand.
more wincing in pain and less drifting off to sleep
Ah. Well. That makes more sense.
Brock, IANAH, but I would advise against employing the phrase "tough titty" in that situation.
IANAH
Aw, M/tch, I think you're an excellent herpetologist.
113: Look, teo, all I said was that you should have a doctor look at that rash you've got "down there". That doesn't make me an expert on venereal diseases.
That doesn't, no. Not in isolation, anyway.
Where do people put babies that they have to be fetched? The Offspring first slept in a basket level with my side of the bed*, which was fortunate, because once he recovered from the pneumonia he'd arrived with, he ate about once an hour until he was up to an appropriate body weight. [Shortly thereafter, we co-slept, which meant that the isn't-going-to-sleep-through-the-night-until-he's-twenty-three** thing was made easier; I could just fling out an arm and grab a bottle. Didn't help with the diapers, however.]
*As his father had to commute up to LA every day for a 9-5 work day and I was taking some time off, that seemed fair. My boss didn't get up before noon, anyway.
**We did finally figure out that he'd never slept alone - the orphanage he was in put two or three infants to a cot. Co-sleeping made everyone happier.
Heebie - Congratulations again. Listen to LB and others and be a princess for a while. Houses survive being ignored in favour of mommy sleep. [Besides, there are people one can hire to come clean everything. It's a wonderful profession, the practitioners of which should be lauded on a regular basis.]
Buck's the herpetologist. M/tch is a carcinologist.
Yow, biting. I got lucky on that -- my natural reaction to being bitten (high pitched piercing shriek, removal of baby to arms length with accusing, betrayed stare, repeat ad lib. until baby gets the point) seemed to be effective in training them to quit it.
Yeah, we're in the repeat ad lib phase.
My response would be to smack the baby hard on the top of the head, which is why men don't breastfeed.
My response would be to smack the baby hard on the top of the head, which is why men don't breastfeed.
I think the reason men don't breastfeed is more primitive than that.
Sexist.
But where does he stand on allowing transwomen to use women's restrooms to breastfeed their infants?
Crabs cause cancer?
If you smoke them, maybe. Using a water pipe probably helps.
126: Huh. I did not know that that's what crab studiers are called, although it makes sense. I think I would have guessed crustaceanologist or something like that.
I just thought you weren't remembering the word "oncologist".
The crab genus is Cancer, which I guess is how the terms collide.
127: Meanwhile, all across this great land of ours, brave crustologists are anointing themselves with patchouli oil, rubbing boxcar grease into their Carhartts and memorizing all the tracks from the first two Amebix 7-inches.
128: Here's some good etymology info:
*Galen was an ancient Roman physician.
Just one belated note on wakefulness. Not only is it super-true that parents are ultra-sensitive to the cries of their newborn (definitely tapers off as distance from birth increases), but also to other sounds: Kai had a bad cough* when he was a couple/few months old, and I got to the point where I would bolt awake at the sound of his breathing starting to catch. Sometimes it wouldn't even resolve into a cough, but there I was, awake.
* would cough enough to throw up at least a couple times a day; otherwise cheerful and healthy
Also from that same thread:
the tumour, according to Galen, was so called from the swollen veins surrounding the part affected bearing a resemblance to a crab's limbs.
the tumour, according to Galen, was so called from the swollen veins
...which casts an amusing light on the common etymological origin of "tumor" and "tumescent".
Congrats, Heebie! Enjoy and take it easy.
135: Oh come on. If you can't laugh about penile cancer what the hell can you laugh about?
136: Giant penoscrotal elephantiasis. (safe for work)
If you can't laugh about penile cancer what the hell can you laugh about?
Not prison rape, that's for sure.
135: Gives "sucky party aftermath" a whole new (and worse) meaning.
Hmmm, and the thread in 139 appears to be the first Unfogged thread to ever exceed 100 comments. The Birth of the Kobe.
139: Oddly enough I have in my possession a photograph of someone just in the process of waking up to realize that he's been teabagged (Surprised look, scrotum dangling in from out of frame). It was found just off Frat Row in College Park, MD by a friend of mine. I should scan it and put it on the internet so I can track down the owner and return it to him.
I THINK WE SHOULD CALL IT GALEN DISEASE! NOW BRING ME SOME OUZO!!
Congratulations, and welcome, baby Hawaiian Punch!
140: Reading that reminded me that Ogged was one dumb motherfucker.
139: What a tiny comment thread! With so few people! Most of whom are still here!
Okay, the novelty's worn off. Who's going to have a baby for our amusement next?
Baby, schmaby. I have a new fridge. Can your precious babies make ice? Yeah, I thought not.
Adorable twins, an adorable new fridge, and gallons of adorable homemade wine! Jesus is sittin' pretty!
A fridge that makes ice? That is novel.
How about a fridge that makes babies?
Toreador-a
No bottles on the floor
Use the beer-a-dor-a
That is what it's for
I went to a party where this one dude was teabagging everybody and everything. A couple of weeks later, I was playing one of my records and found a polaroid of the record getting teabagged in the sleeve. Super fun party, though, and I don't think any of the people he teabagged actually minded.
I mind on behalf of the missing conscience of the degenerate reprobates that populate your social circle. Teabagging is wrong, I tell you, wrong! Except when used to strengthen the marital bond.
