Reader, are you familiar (readers, is any of you familiar) with the phenomenon that I am about to describe in the remainder of this post? You don't have to answer right away—you can read the rest of the post first, if you're the timid, overly cautious type.

Naturally I am thinking of: that curious thing (I already said as much in the post title) wherein one beholds an attractive person, but finds the attractiveness of the person to consist, in the first instance, in that person's resembling a different person, already known to one, to whom one is primarily attracted. That is: one is attracted to A insofar as A looks like B. I claim: in such a case one need not at any point have been mistaken as to the identity of A, nor need one have not started finding A attractive until after having made a judgment of resemblance. I claim further: while, if one finds B attractive, and A resembles B, one would expect one to find A attractive in A's own right, but that is not what happens; it is A-qua-B-like who attracts.

This is, doubtless, a creepy state of mind to be in, but also I think it is an interesting phenomenon. I mention all this because I experienced such a state of attraction when watching the video embedded below, regarding (of course) the electrician.

Our friend is training their kids to address adults, like me and Jammies, as Ma'am and Sir. Which isn't awkward at all and doesn't clash with our hipster-wishful-thinking self-images. (Actually I'm totally used to getting called Ma'am.)

As a child, I understood very well that the right way to address an adult is to get in their field of vision and try to get them to make eye contact with you, and then just blurt out what you need to tell them.

X. Trapnel writes:

Imagine this: your favorite Bay Area commenters, in a room, watching the Super Bowl together--on a television. Yes, it's crazy—but it might be just crazy enough to work! (A pregame review of the rules of American football would naturally be scheduled.)

Now, this is as yet still merely an idea, a possibility: but that's what this thread is for. Bay Area folks, would you be up for it? Do you have a special recipe for traditional Super Bowl snacks that your great-grandmother brought over from the Old Country? Someone has tentatively agreed to host in the East Bay, pending confirmation of television reception--sounds great, right? We can hash this out in the Comments, and then make definite arrangements by email, or something similar.

Imagine you were hosting a thirtieth birthday cocktail party extravaganza for not one but two people. What cocktails and hoary devours would you serve?

Caveat: there are several people with severe nut allergies planning to attend.

Show your work.

Crazy story getting linked all over Facebook about a man who got arrested for DWI in Dona Ana County in New Mexico, and was then held in solitary confinement for two years without a trial without any access to the outside world, including necessary dental care: he ended up pulling one of his own teeth. Not much to say about it (assuming the allegations are roughly true) other than that I hope the criminals responsible for his detention spend as much time or longer under the same conditions or worse.

This came up in the earlier thread, but it often comes up in conversation too, so I think it might be useful to explain. My sister, who has a million illnesses including lupus, and is genuinely headed for a wheelchair, takes 16 kinds of medication a day. She has a doctor whose only job it is is to see whether there might be any unfortunate combination effects. That's it. His whole job, as far as her being his patient, is to be medicine combination analysis guy.

Now, I'm not nearly as sick as she is, and only take 5 kinds of medicine when I'm well and up to 8 when not (and then there are the times I get bronchitis or what have you and also take antibiotics, prednisone, extra inhalers, decongestants etc. Say, 6x/year). Occasionally a well-meaning friend will look at my bedside table and say, "wow, you're taking so much medicine! Maybe you'd feel better if you just stopped taking so much! I'd feel bad if I was taking all those pills."

I'm going to talk slowly, but here's the thing: people take medicine because they're sick. Why on God's green earth would you imagine I am so stupid as not to have tried not taking medicine? The "not taking medicine" state is the very state in which I ever came to the doctor about a given problem, as a little thinking would make clear. "Oh, but maybe that's gone now and you should stop taking them again!" You know what? I tried that too! Again, not a complete moron over here. If I stop taking medicine and I am bedridden with horrible pain, and then I start taking it and everything improves, I keep taking it. "What if they're all combining horribly?" Well, it would be odd if I were ill in a particular way, then started to take medicines to treat that, then secretly got well, and then the medicines all combined to give me milder versions of the very illness I began with. Really, rather extraordinarily unlikely. Also, the doctors all know which ones I'm taking so they can monitor me for this.

Additionally, thanks for your suggestion, but I have tried: not eating wheat or dairy or soy; eating dairy but not wheat usw.; acupuncture; massage; herbal remedies of various types; foot reflexology; wheatgrass juice; yoga; more exercise (and please keep in mind this is a rather tedious suggestion to a person so sick she is unable to get out of bed); and plenty of other things besides. I appreciate your thoughtfulness but invite you to consider that if something occurs to you in 30 seconds of talking to me, then it has probably occurred to me also, and that I have an incomprehensibly more massive incentive to try to get better than you do to advise me about it. If what happens when you're sick is that your taper down off everything and take tylenol and are fine, do you know what? You're not very fucking sick.

As is my wont, I've been trying to floss more regularly after a recent visit to the dentist. (No cavities, Mom! Actually, I seem never to have cavities anymore, despite having had them a few times as a kid. Is it just less sugar? Magic brain-eating fluoride in the water supply? What gives, teeth?)

While I've been doing a good job, I have one complaint: the splatter that inevitably paints the mirror when I floss. Surely, someone must have devised a solution to this vexing problem.

Additional complaints: I keep forgetting that I'm supposed to floss before brushing, not after, and I keep forgetting that I'm supposed to use a different brush for my tongue.

On reflection, this post seems kind of gross, but I'm sure we're all adults here.

OK, on this idiotic crime show I just watched it was the premise of the show that if one were to find a bag containing 5 million dollars worth of jewelry it would be a big question as to whether one would immediately turn it all over to the cops or not. I think it's pretty clear that if a black duffel bag full of gems falls out of the sky it was probably not lawfully acquired, so let's assume one knows it is stolen. Are there really going to be masses of commenters saying "oh no, I'd turn it over"? Because the mysterious Alameida would keep that shit without a millisecond's thought. Well, concern as to whether the bad guys might come after the loot, but only that.

Now, I've come to realize that I am not a very moral person, and so I usually run iffy things by my husband. I have simplistic tribal loyalty towards keeping my family and people whom I care about safe, and I am extremely generous towards people whom I personally know who have problems. So, Al's good along one axis, but not super law-abiding (understatement) or giving a shit about stolen. So anyway, bag of gems--nabbed. Same goes for random suitcase full of cash. OK spill, unfoggedtariat, are y'all really running to the popo's with those gems? Even if you say yes I probably won't believe you, but...

If you're taking nerve blockers and cafergot for your goddamn rassa fracking migraine, and you can get up to, oh, 40mg of morphine (let's say your doctor says you can titrate yourself, because he is a stand-up guy and they ought to make a motherfucking statue to him), and you're rocking some awesome CSI:NY, but you still have a headache, I submit that shit is straight fucked-up. (Yes, I thought of lying there looking at the inside of a silk scarf in the darkness. I've done many, many, many hours of that. Thanks for asking.) Eh, I should have factored in my wicked strong tolerance and gone with the 30mg tabs, I'd be golden. I was trying to be a good girl so I left it to the doc. That said, I think things are mildly improving. My sponsor suggests maybe my Higher Power is telling me I need to rest. Rest, yet. Think of a better plan than excruciating pain next time, HP. Wait, what else would I respond to? A note on engraved stationery? Uh. Nonetheless, I wish to note that this is not actually restful.

UPDATE: My husband suggests perhaps a mistake was made and someone had accidentally put "Unwellbutrin" in my "Wellbutrin," the main side effect to the former being feeling profoundly unwell. But I checked, they're good.

I'm moderating a forum tonight on "What Is Grad School Really Like?" The other faculty sponsor openly thinks as many people as possible should go to grad school. And he is in the humanities. He's also super passive and never says anything directly disagreeable. There might be some long, heavy silences in the room if we start gently correcting each other.

Our poor neighbors' house got flooded.

On NPR this morning they were talking about how several states are developing state-run online poker sites, to raise revenue.

I have no problem with people gambling, in general. I have slight fears with online gambling, because it seems like someone with an addiction could run up massive debt without anyone else in the household being aware of the problem. (But it seems paternalistic to interfere. I'm not sure where the line is.)

As a source of state-run income, it seems sticky. Am I off here? Taxes are a way of pooling resources to fund common good structures. What does it mean to collect taxes fairly? (It's also weird to me that the state of Texas flips property to raise money, but it doesn't exploit anyone's recreation.) Obviously a state pulls in money on a state park, as well, but mostly they're just trying to cover their costs. They're not raising money.

There are also vice taxes, like on cigarettes, etc, which are popular because bad people smoke, and claim to discourage people from smoking, but I can't imagine they're that big a deterrent. Still, you can't run through your savings in one night on cigarette taxes. And there's a connection with health care costs caused by smoking.

Maybe there should just be a cap on how much you can lose in one night? As a percent of your income? Nothing paternalistic about that. Probably you should only be able to sit at the table whose buy-in is proportional to your income. There is now a student in my office, so I'm not going to write anymore.

Purity day is coming up! Annual Purity Day is held on Valentines Day, or the previous weekday.

Here's a video that is seriously worth watching. It's only a minute long.

It's probably best to watch the video before you read spoilers in the comment thread.

via Jammies

1. I do not understand people who have a familiar route that they drive frequently, and they don't pay attention to determining the best route possible. You may choose a longer route because it skips a terrible left turn, or it's prettier, or whatever; that's fine. But I don't understand how you can never think about it.

2. We are in such an Ask The Mineshaft drought. Don't you want me to openly pass judgment on your fears and desires?

Holy poopstain, The Velvet Teen is excellent. How come no one told me?

It's good that the Penn State scandal broke several months before Paterno died, in my opinion, so that his role was clear, and everyone had plenty of time to establish their opinion. Obviously the revisions can start immediately, though.