does doing yoda impressions count?
Yoga is the squishy white substance that gets turned into Gardenburgers, right?
Smegmaburgers are still more appealing than Quorn - even the Gruyère Quorn Cutlet.
Is Quorn really that bad? It _sounds_ gross, but have you tried it? (I have not.)
It _sounds_ gross
Much more gross than cold ground-up parts of force-fed baby animals, I'm sure.
I do not yoge. (Although I occasionally drag out the old Lamaze breathing when in pain or otherwise stressed.)
Really I don't do anything that involves flexibility or limberness. I did try a yoga class once, but couldn't approach any of the poses closely enough to even be doing them badly. Every so often the teacher would come by and attempt to shove me into position, under the assumption that I just didn't understand what I was supposed to be doing. I'd howl with pain, and the teacher would wander off, looking defeated.
I do yoga. Actually, lately I've been in the aforementioned work-induced funk, part of which is that I am so boredly lonely during eight hours of the day that it's hard for me to enthuse myself about solitary activities at night, so I haven't been. Maybe I am more evidence for the yoga myth.
However, I can dimly remember being in the yoga zone, and then yoga was one of the best things in my life. Sometimes I would have this feeling of something from deep within my muscles cracking open and flowing out of me, and it was glorious. I would feel stronger and happier and more beautiful and better rooted to the earth when I left. However, yoga made me feel bad about my hips and groin, because they are absurdly inflexible. And then a friend of my aunt's once tried to tell me that the reason I couldn't release my hips was emotional, i.e. that I was sexually repressed, which annoyed me to no end.
I always thought I would like yoga since I'm very flexible, but I think it's kind of 'eh.' I still do it occasionally, but I prefer kickboxing.
Actually, yoga is the best for people who are medium flexible. If you can't even approach the poses, you'd need a super modified class to get you there, but if you're too flexible, you won't get the benefit without lots of modification either. It's all about playing the edge, and finding the place between effort and surrender, which you can't do if it's too hard or too easy.
Interesting. I never thought about it that way, but it makes sense. All the times I've taken classes, I'm like "ok, I'm in the pose, now what?" It's fun, but I don't feel that exhilaration (can't think of the right word, that's not it, but close) that other people talk about.
I actually used to do yoga when I was a kid, poses from some book we had laying around the house. I of course, didn't know what i was doing, but I had a mean wheelbarrow at the time.
Actually, lately I've been in the aforementioned work-induced funk,
If it cheers you up any, you're almost certainly adored by the people you work for. The discontent which has you in a funk sounds like a symptom of being cleverer and more competent than lots of career secretaries.
14: I'm not, though. I'm a mere temp and no one gives me anything to do, and I actually become a fairly mediocre secretary when I'm this bored, because I get spacey. I'm okay when I'm just the right amount of busy. Being a secretary is sort of like yoga in that way; you function best when you have a manageable amount of work, but enough to keep your focus. I guess it all relates to flow.
Also, it wouldn't matter how competent I was, because the supervisors in this department are like alcoholic parents, and dole out praise or criticism irrespective of your actual performance. My poor permanent coworker, who's new on the job, has it worse than me, because our boss seems to have taken an irrational dislike to him. She just looked over his shoulder at his email screen, saw that there were unfiled emails in his inbox, and yelled at him for not filing. But in fact he has a folder system for all the emails that need his attention, and he just leaves some that don't, like shipping confirmations, in his inbox. Note that he hadn't actually missed any emails or made any other mistake that merited her scrutiny.
Before you ask, I'm trying to get a permanent job at my university for the tuition remission, and that's why I'm not looking for something better.
It is rather self-centered of me to be hijacking this thread to complain about my job. Please return to your regularly scheduled cock jokes.
Andrew, I have not tried Quorn. I have a not quite rational aversion to eating mushrooms already, so eating some mysterious "less palatable" fungal meat substitute is just straight out.
Kieran, I love ground-up animals, regardless of their age. If we weren't supposed to eat them, they wouldn't be made totally of meat.
Here's the pitch: two young Kansans (I'm thinking apostropher and text for the leads) take a wrong turn and find themselves teetering dangerously on the edge of the earth in Berkeley California. They're taken prisoner by a vegan cult that has murdered all the fast food managers. They worship a deity named "He Who Will Not Eat Anything With a Nose." I'm calling it: Children of the Quorn.
He Who Will Not Eat Anything With a Nose
Does this mean shellfish are still okay?
No, it's an entirely different form of exercise, based on strengthing the 'core muscles', roughly the abdominals and back, which I don't do for completely different reasons than I don't do yoga.
Yeah, that's what you said the last time a girl saw your TiVo, too.
I just wrote and then deleted (because it recounted an astonishingly uninteresting story) a fairly long comment about the last time I used the phrase, "brevity is the soul of wit."
Much like the source of the phrase, w/d.
Tia, my Tivo is real, not metaphorical.
I like yoga. I've not done it much, but it was fun and good for relaxation. Not that I was pondering the mysteries of Atman, but more that the sheer concentration it took not to fall over on some poses meant that I couldn't be worrying about anything else.
The dolphin pose, however, gave me the most horrible hip cramps ever. I have no idea why.
Kieran, I love ground-up animals, regardless of their age. If we weren't supposed to eat them, they wouldn't be made totally of meat.
They aren't made totally of meat, though.
It's also good for the posture. I did yoga a lot one summer, and I don't think I'd ever really stood up straight before. A little downward dog is good for waking up in the morning.
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
They aren't made totally of meat, though.
Don't you try to oppress me with your limited bourgeios notions of meat, w-lfs-n.
Ogged, one thing I think I have learned in my short time here is that no one really owns the interpretations of their own dirty jokes. You can try to hold on to the belief that you have a real TiVo, but eventually your TiVo becomes a palimpsest of comment laid upon comment, and the "truth" of the TiVo (is it my concept of a real TiVo? Or others' perception of my metaphorical TiVo?) becomes multiple.
That's a nice try, Tia, but the Tivo thing isn't even a joke; just a sad truth of my existence.
Oh sure. Ogged finds it three minutes faster 'cause it's his blog.
Ogged "owns" a TiVo the way Homer "wrote" The Odyssey.
Can't it both be a sad truth of your existence, and a joke? I mean, I accept that it's true, but that doesn't make it not funny.
Well, it's a funny sad truth, but "Tivo" actually has to mean "Tivo" in this instance.
Well, alright Ogged, it's your blog, so I guess I have to play by your rules. However, my cable box once remained unplugged for a year and half, so I do know something about the issue.
The best bit is picturing, when circumstances render it necessary, ogged leaping out of bed to fumble with his home entertainment center, while a hypothetical partner looks on in bemusement.
Well, alright Ogged, it's your blog, so I guess I have to play by your rules.
I sense some hott new rules coming on any second now.
Indeed! Now taking submissions for rules for Tia to abide by...
I like Quorn, at least the fake chicken patty kind I tried. It tastes exactly like the school lunch chicken patties I had when I was a kid--bad, but in a way you kind of miss, and so track down to eat anyway (I also miss the really fatty polish sausages that they served us, but I haven't managed to find an acceptable substitue). I would call Quorn the best meat substitute product I've tried (facon--teh suxxor).
So wait, resetting your Tivo actually requires not only moving in with someone, but with some who's got a land-line, and who will let you busify it periodically with your video recordamajig?
No one said it was going to be easy, slol.
I was so confused. I did a web search, and came to the conclusion that there was only one I could find, and he'd probably be pretty expensive to obtain.
In any case, Ogged hasn't approved the rule yet, so I'm going to remain relaxed for the moment, unless someone needs a nut cracked.
...unless someone needs a nut cracked
You really know how to tee them up, don't you?
I recommend kugel exercises before you serve it to company.
I'll get you a landline when we buy our house.
Thanks, Becks! I'll call you from the den!
That could occasion the most depressing post ever! ("I reset my TiVo today. No, just the TiVo.")
Now taking submissions for rules for Tia
I can't believe nobody has followed up on that cleverly appropriate double entendre.
You mean as in 47, 48, 52, and 54-56?
Perhaps the higher the branch, the sweeter the fruit...
at Banana Lofts
63 - Now, what would be hysterical is your TiVo hit 1024 and then reverted to 1.
That would be worth waiting for, maybe.
That would be Sunday, December 3, 2006.
Party at Ogged's house!
Ogged:
As I understand it, a TiVo is just a Linux box with a TV tuner and some specialized software. Shouldn't you have w-lfs-n (or Becks, I think) whip up some code to display an automatically updating TiVo counter on the front page? Just for the humor value?
You want me to put a "days since I had sex" counter on the front page of the blog? I have my limits.
isn't that what pseudonymous blogging is really all about?
My pseudonymity is so far compromised at this point. Most of my friends know about the site, I've met several commenters, and even Unf's future father-in-law reads it. I never should have told anyone.
That would require inviting w-lfs-n to the office, I think.
well, i don't know who you are. i feel left out. i wanna be a cool kid, like w-lfs-n.
I don't think anybody, anywhere, has ever said or thought the above statement before.
You want me to put a "days since I had sex" counter on the front page of the blog? I have my limits.
Caring is sharing, ogged. And you're not actually obligated to tie the TiVo to your return to life.
79: Someone once did, but only because w-lfs-n, a philosophy grad student, appropriated the work of The Fonz, a motorcycle rider, and published it under his name.
re: 17
Berkeley had a McVegan's for a while but I think they either went out of business or were forced to change their name. (Or maybe it was just discussed as a joke.) I suspect the vegans I knew in high school would relish playing those roles, but in real life they were nice people.
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